Dim Sum Mum - Tess' Little Pieces

boxes boxes everywhere and all the rooms did shrink...

combine the frustration and exhaustion of moving and you get a tess who doesn't particularly have any fond feelings for 6a 122 road right now.

yesterday, i watched my home being dismantled. it wasn't that tough, because there was a goal in sight.

i was horrified. my kids went from watching television in the playroom, to watching television while sitting on a couch, to watching television sitting on a floor, while surrounded in by ribena and peanut butter sandwiches. for the most part, they were excellently behaved.

charles was in the new flat by noon, and was impressed with the progress we had made. we were impressive. got a lot of work done. moved a lot of boxes. my knees were sore, and actually still are, despite the fact that i was wearing running shoes.

there was little room for sentiment for which i am grateful.

there is little room for anything except boxes, at this point.

the aircon in the main bedroom doesn't work, the fans don't work (yet), there is very little storage in the new place compared to the old, but that is okay. this is a good move. i feel it, i know it.

and when i went to bed last night (after a fine chicken makanwala and naan) i wasn't yearning for the familiar shadows. i was ready for the new stage although desparately wishing that the faeries had come during the night and sorted out all the boxes.

kids are happy.

resurfacing

thank you for the feedback on possible books for little seb. really appreciated. it's like a brand new world finding new authors and series...thrilling for both the young man and myself.

yesterday was a frightening day. janne, victor and 3 yr old amalia accompanied my crew to the boat club. it was deserted, we were the only ones in the pool. janne and i started chatting and the boys were of course playing and having fun. i had forgotten armbands and the triplets were pretty much confined to the small pool. janne and i were confined to our chairs. there was much to discuss! the gobi desert marathon, victoria's secret, how in denmark fruit of the loom underwear is considered upmarket, preventing that mantle of "entitlement" some children seem to wear, good nearby runs...very interesting topics, you understand!

the lifeguard came to tell me at 11.30 that he was taking his lunch. i said no problem.

lunch started to sound like pretty good idea to the mummies and our two elder children. i took the orders...how easy - six chicken nuggets and chips, coming up! and the chicken tikka salad. and i walked away to place our order, after asking janne to keep an eye on the kids.

turns out she did more than that. i returned from placing the order, and found sela, blue lipped and sombre, shivering and sitting on my recently vacated deck chair, wrapped in a towel. cuddling her was janne, who, in the 90 seconds i had been absent, was suddenly wet. water streaming from her pigtails. kissing the side of sela's face. sela, who was quiet and a bit dazed.

sela, who almost drowned.

janne apparently saw sela thrashing, going under, and called to her, and when sela didn't respond, but kept going under for longer periods, jumped in and pulled her to the side. saved her.

i didn't make a big deal, i didn't lecture. i didn't tell her how glad i was that she was safe that she had nearly died, that i loved her...i just...played it down. i don't think i managed it well at all. i can't even remember it happening. i just remember thinking, "the shock is over, i have to make it as easy as i can for my child." so i asked her if she was alright, put my hand on janne's leg to say thank you and tell her i love her and cannot express how grateful i am but will try later, and sela falteringly then told me what happened, a little bit, and then went inside to take a shower and get changed. later on i talked to her about not going into the deep end unless she was wearing armbands.

i didn't handle it well. i don't remember it, but i do remember that i didn't do well. or is there a right way to handle it?

so tired of drama. which is why jasper, with his 102 temperature, is not at the doctors, instead he is plastered on to me. he will be better tomorrow. i have faith in this self diagnosis.

faith. it gives me courage to keep going, whether that be running, cleaning, reading, working, parenting, or letting them swim themselves.

when i am not imagining my picture on forbes mag with the headline "one stop chair" - i am packing or worrying and occasionally having second thoughts about the upcoming move.

charles and i bought paint yesterday. talk about second guessing. so much can go wrong...i am placing my trust in a one inch square strip? we chose a grey-green for our room....let's see how it turns out. oh i had high hopes, but....what will come of it?? the girls are getting a hot pink wall in a colour they adore, at least they adore the paint strip! reality might be different. it always is with the nail polish sample, and a room is such a larger scale than a nail.

but charles is gone. last night was his final night here. we had no real chance to get emotional about it, but that is probably for the best. he will have a chance to have a walkthrough of 6a when it is empty or during the transition phase. and likely we will both have a good cry then. but right now, my eye is on the prize.

unfortunately, my tonsils are on the enlargement. i just got a suspicion the other day, an inkling that not all was well when i swallowed and it felt like i had a bit of grit in my throat. i cleared it, (annoying sound) and then swallowed again. nope, grit was still there. i took some water, and the pesky grit remained, which made me suspect, dang it, that something was amiss with my throat. i immediately jumped into proactive action, i plugged in the kettle to make tea, and while waiting for it to boil went to get a biscuit (known cure for any ailment).  but the biscuit tasted like the cleansing solution a hairdresser puts the combs in.

definitely getting sick.

definitely don't have time for this.

someone asked me, "why are you taking so long to move? every day you mention it". good question. it is because i am packing (and weeding out) but i am also living. the kids are on holiday and we are having fun. also, we are doing the move ourselves, except for the big ticket items. that's another reason. and we also have to patch up and remove any changes to the flat we made ourselves. another issue!

ending with a question: sebastian loves harry potter, but i don't want him reading beyond book two for a couple of years yet. too scary. any other adventure stories you can recommend for seven year old boys?? i'd love to hear them.

entrepreneurial me

i am never too busy to be brilliant.

with my TO DO list growing increasingly longer, i am thanking myself for all the stuff i managed to do in advance and haven't left until the last minute.

i was talking with a friend outside the pta office today and she was saying how before she leaves hong kong every year she always squeezes in her annual trip to the dentist. and how she resents sitting in the dentist chair (never mind with her mouth open) because she has so many other things she needs to be doing.

hmm. i need to think about this but i am on to something.

you know when franchises double up - like taco bell and burger king? what about if dentists got together with, oh, gynaecologists? then you could get your annual pap done as well, and it would take your mind off being upset about having your mouth open. i am really quite brilliant.

a good hairdresser could get into the action as well, or a mani/pedi place, actually.

all these business opportunities just waiting to happen. why don't people take me more seriously?

why?

at the back of my mind is a growing thought - canada, canada, canada.

we will be there soon.

as i am packing and labelling boxes, i am purposely keeping outfits out that the quatre terrors will be wearing in canada.

ca-na-da
can-a-da

soon!

i was mentioning to someone i barely know today that we would soon be on the plane - the day after we had done the walk through of our old flat. this person nodded and said, "oh, that will be nice and relaxing for you."

i stopped mid flow and wondered why the person thought that.

later, i was sending a quick email to a friend asking her about her recent cottage experience.

cottages are meant to be detoxes for adults, a step down in the pressure cookers of adult existences, but kids haven't received (or read?) the memo. there are still stairs to run, spider webs to crash into, events that demand "mummy! mummy! mummy!" and you know they will not stop calling you until you answer so why don't you be polite and respond soon, as you should? it's human nature to keep calling until you get a response.

kids don't GET that the cottage is down time because it is such an extremely exciting time for them.
speaking on behalf of every single parent out there, cottages aren't so relaxing, because it is just a change of location, often one that (rightfully so, it would be kind of creepy if it were) isn't as babyproofed as our regular home is.

it will be divine to see doug, penny and most members of the lyons pride, but seriously, i am under NO impressions that it will be EASY. having said that, charles is divine at sharing the looking after the little peeps duties and each year they have an increasing independence which is adorable and enjoyable.

i am putting photos in order tonight. don't i have a glamorous life?

two reasons to dislike packing

while i do love the chance to declutter and readily admit that moving flats affords us the perfect opportunity to rid us of baggage, there are some downsides.

1) comfort eating. i just finished off the yummy treats in two party bags because i am in need of consoling. we have hit that part in packing where we are sort of in a vortex. loads more to do, but loads of stuff we use on a daily basis. calgon, take me away! forget calgon...where there is werthers caramel candies, there is a way!

2) packing can be messy. yesterday one of sebastian's parents dropped something on their foot. the parent yelled s - h - well most of you know the rest. and as the parent was hopping around, sebastian said little in the way of, "are you all right" and much in the way of..."you said a very bad word! you said a very bad word!" meh!

i can justify eating the party bags. we are downsizing. (unforunately, as i keep eating, i am upsizing!)but the cussin just aint cool.

tomorrow i will write about father's day, which has been good. charles needs to scan the hilarious card sela drew him. happy father's day charles, who is a wonderful father every day. i even bought him a sentimental card this year!

and for the sweetest daddy i ever had, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY. i wish you were here. i will read my kids HOW NOW BROWN COW tonight as a reminder of how wonderful dad's are. thank you for that book.

packing with physicians

in order to make the move a little less personal, i have packed while watching the entire season five of grey's anatomy. it's easy to trivialise my issues (where should this bookcase GO?) when i have to worry about Christina possibly getting into an abusive relationship and see how they are hiding "lexie's" real life pregnancy.

so while i didn't give grey's my 100 full attention, it sure was a good diversion.

the flat isn't 100 packed. i have a life, peeps! i am packing around my life, and some days i find myself looking for distractions to avoid packing. and really, there are some things that can't be packed right away.

there is that study about stressful things. moving is quite high on that list of stressful things. our move is not far, but it is still stressful and emotional. i can't imagine how odila did it. i am finding i do need my space, but at other times i do need to vent. today my topic was "so many marriages are breaking up, how do i know it won't be me?"

at least i know i am not being rational.

i got sebastian's report card today, and i cried over it. just some of the things that his teacher said. she mentioned the support he gets at home. and let's be honest, i could do so much more. she mentioned the obvious - concentration - but she also called him a delight to teach, gentle, respectful of others, interested in processes and kind. i just got overwhelmed. i have been his mummy for seven years now.

and we have lived in this flat for eight.

item #1 - sanity and kids safety in light of school closures...we're doing all right. thank you for asking.  i loved a quote from a mum in the south china morning post the other day which essentially said, "who cares about my kids' health? what about my health?" love it.

so i am packing up our flat. it's going well but every once and a while i stumble upon something that makes me sit down and go "awww. wow".

i found a picture of charles that he pasted to a book he gave me in 1998. we used to be creative and thoughtful and crazy like that. we were poor like churchmice, but we came up with other ways to show our love.

fast forward 11 years and four children, and there isn't a lot of the opening a book and finding pictures of my boy in there. i used to write him love letters and slip them into his suitcase. now those love letters are more like "TO DO LISTS".

am i less of a lover now? i think so. is he? not really. i think i have beaten all his romantic impulses out of him.

i understand stages of life, but it did make those love letters and pictures i found so very special. and i felt sad that i had thrown so many away over the years.

then i remembered that every valentine's day charles makes me a photo collage of the year gone by, a reminder of special moments we have shared. and i felt better, thinking his creativity, like our love, has changed and expanded.

and, now i blog of my love for him. i probably should slip in more private notes (and i might) but i do announce it.

changing and growing.

back to packing.

the pet shop boys sang it nicely...

and if it seems repeatedly it is only because i have four children.

this morning i was awoken not so much by the thunder and lightning streaking across the sky, but by jasper, rubbing his face across my stomach and trying to pull himself up on to the bed.

"i'm ever so scared mummy."

pause not longer than a hamster's whisker

"may i watch television?"

it was ominous. Shakespeare could have done something with this storm, and the HK Government definitely did. Just a few short hours later ("Kids! Don't forget your raincoats! You're going to be outside all afternoon and you will need them!) I learned that the Chief Executive of Hong Kong, Donald Tsang, had closed all primary schools and kindergartens FOR TWO WEEKS in response to a student in Causeway Bay who had NOT been travelling who had developed Swine Flu.

TWO WEEKS. No more school until mid August.

So, may I haul out the Pet Shop Boys? It was a toss up what lyrics to play for you, "It;s a SIN" comes to mind, but that seemed a wee bit judgemental and i am too mired in self pity to condemn just yet. Give me a day with the kids and I will SO be there. Without further ado, I bring you...

What have i, what have i, what have I done to deserve this?
What have i, what have i, what have I done to deserve this?

What have i, what have i, what have I done to deserve this?
How Im gonna get through?
What have i, what have i, what have I done to deserve this?

You always wanted me to be something I wasnt --- (Tess suggests, like a patient parent while trying to pack up a flat)
You always wanted too much, oh, oh
Now I can do what I want to - forever (NOT QUITE)
How am I gonna get through?
How am I gonna get through?

HOW?

WHY?

And now the Grey's Anatomy quote of the day....SERIOUSLY!

tai tai! why? why?

the other day at park n shop (or park n ripoff as i heard it called) the cashier wagged her finger at charles and informed him, "your wife is very good tai tai!"

charles' head spun run with a speed that would do an exorcist ridden person credit to see how i took this news.

quite calmly, actually, because i was waiting for The Correction. surely, this kind woman who sees me in here twice a week slugging out bottles of water and hauling my own groceries and standing in the rain or with gary and kids rotating around me (again, think exorcist like trajectory) could not be confusing me for a tai tai?

1.  A term used in Chinese circles for  supreme wife (implying situation where a man is  wealthy enough to have several "wives')  but no longer strictly interpreted.  Term now applies to citizens of the world with an Asian viewpoint  who have bounds of time and money.   A Tai Tai is a well groomed privileged lady of means.   2.   Supreme of the Supreme is its literal translation.  The term  implies respect. 

To qualify as a Tai Tai, one has to have lots of leisure time, lots of money to spend and lots of gossip to exchange.  A Tai Tai would win if Shopping were an Olympic event

There are so many things that don't ring true. However, I am the supreme wife. Although my daughters have announced that they are going to marry daddy when they grow up, I have informed them that will not happen because Mummy isn't good at sharing. Anyone who has tried to share a bag of Worcester flavoured crisps with me knows this to be true.

Back to the falsehoods.
Bounds of time - SERIOUSLY. Bounds of time? I am a girl who jogs to Bible study meetings and has to sweat at friends houses while standing on towels because otherwise i wouldn't get a workout in that day. I have very little time, but i do relish the time i have. I don't have a car, and i use public transport, which takes again, more time. Four children. Not a lot of time.

Bounds of Money - Ha! ha ha ha ha ha!!! This is a good one. Did you know we are packing up our flat and moving ourselves except for the big items (bed, bureaus) to save money? That we had the same second hand ricemaker for 13 years? That we have four children to educate? That in Asia companies don't offer pensions??? So not appropriate to be a tai tai.

Well groomed - this is true. Not everyone can have suzy sheir wife beaters in just about every colour offered because they are 3/$10 the day you went shopping and cant say no to a good sale. Unlike most of Hong Kong (male and females) I don't collect handbags, I have a few tried and true faves and I stick with them.

Respect - Can you please talk to my children and see if I am respected? When I utter a command how many times must I repeat that command before they actually follow through on that command? Maybe this tai tai should get a platium diamond encrusted minute timer attached to her prada (okay, banana republic) jacket, because that's the only status symbol that i have that seems to lead to respect.

That and bwownies as bait.

Gossip -- I GOT. and do you know why i have it? because i KEEP IT. nuff said.

this tai tai thing really royally gorgonzola cheesed me off. before we had gone into pns charles and i had been rummaging around the car park looking for boxes we could pack books in. hot sweaty and occasionally sticky work. i didn't mind, but darling, hardly glam.

tai tai! why? why?

you've all seen me. what about the pony tail says tai tai???