Dim Sum Mum - Tess' Little Pieces

fallin in love

today is a much better day.

i got up, sent the kids off to school and went for a quick run behind the hospital. the first thing i noticed when i stepped outside is that autumn is definitely here. DEFINITELY here. i was wearing a heavy short sleeve shirt, but that was not enough.

i had my ipod, but decided not to play music because i just wanted to take in the autumn of it all. i haven't been along the hospital path by myself without music for a while, it was time to appreciate my city and world.

it was a great choice. the 5 kilometres flashed past briskly as i watched leaves sliding down embankments, heard other leaves crunch underneath my feet, saw other leaves that just last week were a deep green, now yellowish green or a dull ruddy orange.

and i was concentrating on seasons, and the seasons in my life became apparent. and as joe pointed out, i've got my kids, let's get on with it. so i got on with the running, and got on with my today.

which is a busy one, surprise. i had to dig out and repair costumes for the hallelujah party tonight at church. and i had to find a sharp pair of scissors to help hasten the pizza cutting process for when the hoardes of hungry kids descend upon the pizza table.

i should add that mending the outfits would have taken cinderella, my gran or oh, most people, about 20 minutes but while i have proven to be very good at tasks like pulling wayward bits of snot from my children's noses, i am not nearly as deft with a needle. so it took me a long time. then i had to find the sparkly shoes. and then i had to deal with jasper's grief when i informed him that he couldn't wear sparkly shoes with his astronaut uniform. oh, life is unfair when you are jasper.

and now, because our kitchen bears a startling resemblance to old mother hubbard's and i admit to looking like her as well, and magnificent would prefer a resemblance to nigella lawson and her kitchen, i am off to park n shop to plunk down a serious amount of money on "soil milk" and other such products.

yesterday was a sad day, but to quote elton john, today the b!tch is back, and the soil on my shoes can prove it. a good day, so far. let's see how i feel after a kids party.

lita left today

she walked out the door a little while ago, giving the kids lots of cuddles and even me one too.

i was teary, she was dry eyed.

besides what she was to my children, lita gave me freedom, peace of mind, a second opinion, a sounding board, laughter and sanity these past four years. she was an adult to talk with when charles was out of the house and i needed a discussion.

she knows what these past four years have been to me.

and it wasn't always all about me. she became a mother too.  and it was amazing to be part of that experience and time in her life.

i don't mind that i am the only one crying. of course she means more to me than i mean to her. i know we were a job. i am glad that she's on her way to a life where the countdown can begin to having her family with her, so she is looking after her own family instead of someone else's.

i am glad she is gone.

but so is a big piece.

jasper raced through the front door this afternoon and handed me a white envelope. he looked very chuffed.

read this! he demanded, dancing around.

i raised my eyebrow.

please read this, mummy! he offered, still squirming and smiling.

i turned my eyes away from the computer and looked at jasper.

do you need to do a wee?

no, replied my son, drawing very near to me and pressing his arm against my hand.

i opened the envelope and saw that inside was a brightly coloured party invitation. as bidden, i read every single word outloud to jasper.

this is the fourth birthday party jasper has been invited to since september. he is a regular on the party circuit.

he expressed this happiness with a hooray! and after informing all his siblings that he was going to a party, he returned to me and again asked me to read the invitation. this time, post read, jasper began singing (and doing the actions):

it was a dinosaur birthday party

everyone's playing party games

rom-pomp-a-chomp! through the roses they stomp

they garden will never be the same - cha cha cha!!!

four more times before bed i was asked to read the invite, and every one else was asked to read the invite as well. sebastian was asked, but declined, but marianne and gary both took turns reading how jasper has been invited to stephen's party, and had the opportunity to view jasper in full dancing mode.

at bedtime (blessed bedtime!) i asked jasper what book he wanted me to read and he zipped off for a minute, and three seconds later he reappeared, inevitably holding the party invite. a book shorter than goodnight moon! i like it.

bed time, the new regime

according to my four pol pots, for the past two months there has been a "must read" book that, not surprisingly, must be read every evening right before lovely blankets and right after "i don't want to go to bed" (another bed time favourite). this classic has captured my four's hearts. sebastian is wayyyy too old for this book, and doesn't need to be in the bedroom for reading time, but he likes the atmosphere that descends over the room during this time.

the book is margaret wise brown's goodnight moon. the kids love the way that every item in the room is identified, and then bid a quiet goodnight. their favourite is "the little old lady, whispering 'hush'" and they prompt me relentlessly not to forget her. they have asked me what mush is. i have made it for them. they have agreed they do not like it, but for the sake of the story, they pretend they do.

goodnight moon. it wasn't one of my childhood books, and when i flipped through it, i didn't see what all the fuss was about. and then i read it to the three, well after a time they could have been hearing it, and the next night they asked for it, and they haven't stopped since. it entrances them and helps them get into the evening mood.

i don't think this kick will last forever. it has been two months of "goodnight moon" and i know they were late jumping over this book, but i am grateful they have had this little bit of magic in their lives.

with the addition of goodnight moon came the withdrawl of thumbsucking. magnificent and i agreed that we would let the girls go the summer using their thumbs right before bed, but when we got home we had a talk and i suggested that they don't use their thumbs anymore. i wasn't too worried about their teeth, they only suck their thumbs for 10 minutes per day, but if it's not a big deal now, then why shouldn't it be a big deal one year from now? stop it now, i figured.

surprisingly, the girls agreed and it has gone well. occasionally i find a thumb in a mouth, and if awake, the perp will drowsily grin and say, "oops!" and pop it out. but overall, they're reformed. now we just need to work on screaming, getting them to eat vegetables, and all sorts of other things.

last night, after everyone was in bed, magnificent and i spent a good 30 minutes hunting for sebastian's home reader. we couldn't find it. it wasn't in the logical places and it wasn't in the illogical places. he needed to return it today...where could it be? this morning the hunt re-commenced. at the last minute, i repeated a question that i had asked charles the night before. "do you think sebastian knows where the book is?" magnificent again said, "no". but on a hunch i went to sebastian, who admittedly hates reading and i said, "sebastian, do you know where your home reader is?" and he turned to me, smiled and said, "i put it in a safe place, you stay right here." he trotted away and returned wtih the book.

what is the best way to handle that? do you think his intentions were to be sly? i do, but i am a naturally suspicious and bad person.  i have mentioned that we all spent a lot of time hunting for the book (which he may or may not have figured out) and that if he had known we were hunting for it, he should have let me know. do i need to say more? touch on hiding and deception??

our new pet, spiderman

i would never have willingly admitted a new pet into our home.

however, soon after arriving home this summer, i wandered into the kitchen for some enjoyable midnight nachos, and as i flicked on the light, my eye caught a flicker of movement.

oh please not a cockroach. i didn't want to wake charles up and i certainly wasn't up to killing it myself. or was i? bravely, i looked at the place where the commotion was, and saw that it was a cute, little gecko, trembling against the wall. LOVE IT! love it even more that it is not a cockroach!

i like gecko's so much that i don't even mind that they do little poos that we have to clean up in the morning. i find it endearing that they lick off sweet bits from lolly sticks or liquid sugar spashes. i give them all sorts of freedoms my own children do not enjoy. the later bedtimes for one thing and the permission to wander around (naked!) in the pantry is another. last night i was rummaging around to throw some sparkling water into the fridge to replace the bottle i had just drained when i saw a little flick of a tail and knew that gecko had either grown (A LOT), or was having, bless him, a party. HE HAS FRIENDS! friends that poop tiny poos also.

part of my love for the geckos is the gratitude that they aren't cockroaches. i just dont like that cockroaches:

- grow their skeleton on the outside of their body and shed it when they outgrow it.

- have a tube shaped heart that can even stop without the cockroach dying

- have white body fat that looks exactly like what my worst fears have imagined my own body fat looks like

- have a brain spread throughout its body, most of it along its belly, which means that if you stomp on the head of a roach, it will still live for as long as one week, eventually dying from starvation or thirst. like i needed that guilt!*

* all this information except the bit about my body fat provided my andrea pheasant, friend, teacher and cockroach expert extraordinaire.

geckos are cute and i love watching them try to maintain their balance when they scamper along the walls. i sometimes try to listen for their suckers pop popping as they move. they are like very cute spiderman, but with better costumes. spiderman leaves messy web behind, geckos leave tiny poos.

last night i left out a warm chocolate chip for my geckos. i am very fond of them.

the morning before we headed off to the orphanage, my v. cool roommate and i slipped out of our hotel room and headed off into the streets of chengsha to take some pictures and observe the city.

chatting and giggling, we headed into the lobby of the "guest house hotel" and stopped short...for the hotel receptionist was asleep behind the desk! i don't mean head in hand dozing, i mean she had pulled three chairs from the nearby restaurant behind the reception desk, and a duvet from a vacant room, and had turned out all the lights! she was getting her eight hours!

the streets were relatively quiet, the city (estimated population 7 million) was waking up. we saw parents brushing their teeth on the streets, street vendors creating interesting things. some smelt great, some smelt a little heavy for the early morning.

after a 20 minute walk, joan and i decided to get breakfast. the choices were dumplings or noodles. i decided that dumplings suited me best. there were pork dumplings, plain dumplings or spring onion dumplings, and i decided to try the pork dumplings. they were 3 for 1yuan, approximately 12 cents canadian, or 4 cents each. they were pretty greasy, so i gave two away, then tried the noodles. i skipped everthing except the peppers and broth, and again, that was pretty oily, so i let that go. but it was tasty. my tummy was dodgy already, otherwise that broth would have been a good friend.

there was a wet market, and so joan (roommate extraordinaire...she didn't even freak when she woke up at 1am and there was no power in the room.) and i went exploring....i will try to post pictures of what i saw soon. but it was a really rich viewing and look at the culture, people were so friendly.

the next day, breakfast was...not so hot, baby. i skipped the dumplings because they were potato noodles and that was a bit too heavy and my stomach was still pretty dodgy and my thigh muscles aren't so good in those squatting toilets for extended periods of time. so i went for what was promised to be "beef noodles" and it was actually octopus and urchin. urchin made my stomach lurchin.

interestingly, coffee bars are popping up in changsha (also known as chengsha)...you will be interested to note that joan and i bought three bowls of noodles for 20yuan, and then i accompanied her down the road to a coffee bar where she paid 30 yuan for a small cappuchino. supply and demand!

we were very lucky wtih our hotel room the first night...most of our fellow travellers had cockroach stories, or bathroom windows (the shower spigot was in the bathroom, there wasn't a private shower area) that people in nearby buildings could see into, but joan and i lucked out.

the second night, lightening didn't strike twice. our room smelt of something very nasty. we didn't know quite what it was (probably best) but we did know that it wasn't a synthetic smell. and the second day it seemed to be coming from the bathroom. fortunately, our guide, an aussie went and bought us a glade fresh gel (lemon scented) which we cracked open and i punctured it and wiped gel around our room, around our bedstands in particular.

and did i mention that you can get an amazing 80 minute massage for 50yuan?

i am back.

in case anyone is wondering "just where in china was she?" here is a map. i was in hunan province, quite close to hong kong, and visited chengsha and hangyeng.

http://encarta.msn.com/map_701513231/Hunan.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hunan

for some background information.

unfortunately, and as this is a public blog i am sure you can guess why, i cannot detail the trip and i cannot post pictures. what i can tell you is that it was humbling, gave me perspective, and i am now praying as to whether i am meant to be going on a two week volunteer trip there come the spring.

i wish you had been with me. i don't know your issues, but i do know you have a great life and i hope it is precious to you.

tomorrow, after my "troubled tummy" has settled down, i will tell you some of the lighter sides of the stay. in the meantime, just for today, ignore michael moore, and the other naysayers and be grateful for your country and those who have fought so hard to integrate people with disabilities into our world.

that when people whisper in your ear, "for i have plans for you, declares the Lord..." that those plans for you to prosper and not to be harmed don't seem almost impossible to believe. that giving, from people who will likely never meet the recipients, can make such a difference, that people do answer and follow when they are called.

courage. faith. hope. dreams coming true.

that's what i saw.

today i became a permanent resident of hong kong.

it has been a rather rushed affair, but really, i have been eligible for permanent residency for three years, but three years ago, i was doing my twice daily nicu trek and not overly concerned about changing my status from hong kong resident to permanent resident.

there was no MASSIVE reason to change my status, although pr's have shorter customs and immigration lineups and a few more benefits that appeal to me, taxation wise, and educationally, my kids were not effected. and so i let it slide. but then this summer i made a list of things that needed to be done and decided that becoming a PR was a fairly easy one that would look good if i crossed it off the list and so i started the paperwork, or to be strictly accurate (which anal retentive people must), instructed magnificent to get going on it.

august 22 i got a letter - hooray! i had been invited to be a permanent resident of hong kong. and once the kids turn 11, they will have pr status as well. i hauled tookus down to the directly named "immigration tower" in wanchai, and after a brief and confusing interview which included me returning home once to collect everyone's passports, we got our stamps changed, and yay, we were almost home and i threw the stuff in a safe drawer and immersed myself in organising the ladies retreat.

tomorrow, friday, i am headed to china to do a volunteer trip in orphanages where children have been abandoned. it is very unlikely these children will ever be adopted. i think i am going to be doing a lot of bottle feeding, changing nappies, and i don't know what else.

i did know that i would be needing a china visa. and i suddenly remembered that i needed a passport with a hong kong entry stamp on it. my current passport did not have that stamp, i had a sort of "in transition" stamp on it.

anal retentive people are not good at doing things at the last minute. (or this one anyway). i put a rush on my china visa (which involves submitting my hkid card and my passport), and spent hours on the telephone with immigration people, asking if i could get my pr card without my hkid card and passport. they said of course not. they did suggest i come in thursday, (the day i hoped to get my passport back) at 8.30am, stand in line and be one of the 200 walk ins they accept each day.

so i left the house at 7.45 this morning, arrived at immigration at 8am and the lineup was massive already. MASSIVE. my ticket number was 145. thank goodness i had brought a book to read in the lineup (skinny dip by carl hiassen).

i explained my plight (i got to a counter at 9am) and they told me the same thing, come back the minute you have your passport.

then i got a call...my passport was in! come get it! okay, sounds good...then i should run right back to immigration tower, right?

i couldn't do that....it was family day for jaspers class and i came in, there were only about 6 parents there, and told the class a little about being jasper's mummy. his little chest puffed out with pride and he lustily sang a class song for me.

then i had to run home and be present for carys' speech therapy session.

and THEN, at 3.30pm i arrived at immigration. forms to fill, long waits, and then a picture (terrible, even the lady said, "you are pretty but very tired!" and then, bang, i got my temporary permanent resident card.

i love hong kong very much and i am proud to be a permanent resident of this "special administrative region." yes it has it's faults, but so do i. hong kong and i are a good match. so after years of living together, today, under rather shotgun conditions, we got our wedding license. magnificent will be so proud.

So about this whole j lo pregnancy thing.  since jennifer's marriage to marc anthony there have been pregnancy rumours. over the past 18 months the rumours have intensified, and i definitely have the feeling she is ready to be a mum.

Looks like her dreams are about to be realised. when jennifer's appalling tour costume flipped up the other night, a photog captured what appeared to be a pretty well developed “bump”. (click on the pic for an enlargement). the internet buzzed with the story that jennifer is finally pregnant and just ending her first trimester.

Looking at the picture, I got a little curious and eventually went back to photos of my pregnancies. La lopez and I have similar bodies (except she takes care of hers). there is a reason why we call my backside my "jlo".

Here I am at 14 weeks while carrying sebastian. Granted it is a profile shot, but you get the feeling the bump was not particularly large. Generally women carrying a singleton start showing around 14 weeks. So....is it just me or does Jenny from the block look considerably larger than 12-14 weeks? that's a tess following Thanksgiving dinner tummy she's sporting.

Which brings us to rumour #2 - jennifer and marc are expecting twins.

when I was expecting the triumverate, due to the magic of OHSS I managed to gain 70lbs in less than 2 weeks, so I was losing weight for the first 16 weeks of the pregnancy.

So here I am at 8 weeks when Jasper, Sela and Carys are millimetres big and very quiet.

And now, here I am at 14 weeks (below), still losing weight but sporting serious baby weight. If this shot was full front on, I think you would say, “that’s what it looks like jlo is carting around.”

I hope Jennifer lopez is pregnant, and if she is expecting twins, more power to she and marc antony, who always manages to marry divine looking women. if the kid(lets) were conceived with the assistance of ART, it would be super if jlo went public with the information, unlike Julia Roberts who credits her twins to a case of “classic overachieving.”

apparently jennifer is meant to break her news sunday evening..... my money, and the money of my twin friend "oprah" is on jennifer and marc expecting twins, so let's wait and see.

for those who liked the william tell overture....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uISuvTiTYJA

another parenting song put to music....with a sweet ending. thank you to ali for bringing it to my attention.