Dim Sum Mum - Tess' Little Pieces

highlights of my day and week are sometimes hard to pinpoint, particularly if the week has been lucklustre or highly entertaining.

but despite this being a high action week with plenty of high points so far, i have experienced the high point of the week, if not month.

today sebastian's class had their year one easter play. charles and i both attended. sebastian was a pirate, incase you are wondering.

charles and i got there early, and sat down in seats in the second row. there were a lot of parents there and many of them were milling about.

and then the kids started filing into the auditorium and onto the platform.

of course i was raking the audience looking for my little pirate boy.

and soon enough i found him.

much sooner than he found magnificent and me.

so i sat there, watching him watching for us.

all around him there were kids waving to parents, excitedly showing off costumes. all around us were parents waving in return, brandishing cameras and digi-recorders. nearly took my head off!

he continued scanning the audience, passing us several times. other year one students filed around him, as our little blonde boy stood paralysed on the stage, looking for us. neck high, mouth open, every once and a while swallowing, brows furrowed...

until.

the look on his face when he saw us. relaxation. relief, flooding through him. confidence. love. joy. unrivalled, pure joy.

one of the top moments of my ??? ever ???

my little pirate keeps stealing my heart.

THE talk

thursday night charles and i are talking about it.

(it = sex.)

which is kind of ironic, given that our children are the result of ivf. technically speaking, we could be Bibilically ignorant of each other. you never know.

the good news is, talking about it is just as good as doing it, so this counts as one of our four nights this week.

the bad news is, we are talking about it to a bunch of gorgeous teenagers, aged between 14 and 17 at church. you hear me dog. (practicing hip talk so i can relate).

and we are answering questions they anonymously submitted last week which include:

*Is being single better than being in a relationship?

* What if you are dating someone and they want to go farther than they do and you are afraid they will break up with you?

and then, tess and charles get to explain the importance of sex in marriage.    

what do tess and charles know about this topic?

do i say my little mantra, "it takes so little time and makes them so happy"?

will charles get mad if i say that (let's test run it here and see if he does....but i mean relatively speaking. it's not like sitting through old dharma and greg episodes or anything.)

charles actually has some very good answers on this topic. me, i take the less entrepreneurial approach, and i quote other people. i have found a really good article from men's health where a man writes that the minute he has made a conquest, he is less interested in the woman, no matter how fascinating she is, or how much better she is than he.

but i also have to talk about sex, and regrets. yes, this could be a long night, kids. bring a pillow.

besides giving the talk to your own kids and their friends, has anyone ever done anything like this before? even if you haven't, can you please give me/us some advice please? i mean really! today i gave a talk on toilet training multiples, which was easy (employ lita), but this, yikes!

what is the importance of sex in a marriage that we can tell unmarried teenagers?

confessions

1) charles and i have never watched an entire episode of american idol, but we have downloaded several performances. whoever it was that sang lionel richie's hello the other night rocked it. i know the world is meant to love that continually sobbing david arguletta (spelling is bad there but you know who i mean), i don't lurve him. doesn't mean he won't win, though!

2) we DID go (thank you very much) to the zoo on saturday. it was a great day. halfway through charles had to leave for a meeting, and it was not two minutes after his departure when carys announced, say it with me, "i need to do a poo". i put down my apple slice, and told jasper, who has just finishing his lunch, to continue his eating. sebastian and sela were playing on the merry go round and i told them to continue and not to let anyone take the movie camera, my chips, or jasper. sebastian was stuffed with testosterone, "i am in charge!" he announced. i think he said more but carys had one finger stuffed up her b 0 t t 0 m by now and was dancing like she was auditioning for riverdance.

3) three minutes later (including the handwash, carys wasn't lying), we returned to the merry go round and there was frigging jasper on it. not looking so pleased with himself. i grabbed his hand and got him off, tried to give him some water, smiled at the mainland tourists who were videotaping my blonde haired heroes and then, moved the video camera, because, oh yes, jasper vomitted.

given that we were in front of people, and videoed, i had to clean it up. jasper kindly gave me a handiwipe when i was done. we then went to look at different species of monkeys. the jaguar was sick so we didnt go there, and we didnt make it to the snakes either.

3) yesterday sebastian went swimming and the triplets took a two hour nap. what is with these two hour naps they're taking these days?

4) we're putting together our summer plans. we're not sure if we will be going to eastern canada or not, were waiting to hear if our plans fit in with everyone else's. i hate not driving and always inconveniencing other relatives....they have their summer too!

5) paula abdul (yes, we can close this with more american idol) i never understood the drugged out rumours ... oh i sure do now. she's all over the map! and why is everyone so cruel about simon...he gives great advice.

special person

two weeks ago, sebastian came home waving a large piece of white paper.

"mummy!" he exclaimed loudly.

immediately i was intrigued. firstly, he was about to volunteer information, likely about school. how RARE. secondly, he was excited! how fantastic!

"yes?" i inquired, as happily as possible.

"i'm the special person next week. and i get to make a poster about myself!"

kennedy school has a special person programme in primary one. each week, a student is selected for the special person in the weekly year one assembly, which is attended by all the primary one students. in the assembly, the student presents their poster, which relays details about themselves.

as any parent of a six year old knows, when they say "they" get to make a poster, "they" aren't telling the 100 per cent truth. sebastian answered a few questions, but the colouring, decorating and printing of photos, was left to tess and magnificent.

but here are the questions.

1) what is your secret wish?

2) what are you good at?

3) what do you like about kennedy school?

4) what are your hobbies?

and here are my little man's answers, as he spelt them, which he wrote in pencil.

1) what is your secret wish?

to have a lit sabr

2) what are you good at?

karata, reading and rememembring

3) what do you like about kennedy school?

my friends and teachers

4) what are your hobbies?

rubgy, soccr, playing with frends, my famly

having completed his work, i coloured in bits and applied stickers that said things like, "i am happy to be me!" and charles downloaded photos. photos of sebasian playing in the waves with rachel and leah, kayaking with nathan, eating ice cream with pammy, with galen, with adam and rufus, with his brother and sisters, with our family on the first day of school, at kennedy sports day. took charles and i bloody hours.

the night before assembly, sebastian came in early from the playground and announced he wasn't feeling well. his forehead was hot but the half mast eyes are the kicker. i gave him some mild drug and he went to sleep. the next morning he wasn't feeling well and mum was putting the heavy parental pressure on me to forget assembly and to stay home. but i gave sebastian the option of going to school for assembly and then coming right home, which he took.

sebastian was right in the middle of all the year one kids being honoured. it was just lovely. the deputy head looked over his poster and admired all the pictures. commented on the canadian lifestyle, all the outdoors and fun. and all the siblings sebastian has. and then my dad and i got to walk up and put a badge on sebastian that read "special person" and i watched his chest visibly puff out with pride, despite his fever and shuttered eyes.

then i helped walk the year one kids back to their classroom, i took a picture of sebastian and his teacher, and then i headed home with my little man.

and his week as special person passed.

but the next week, he came home waving a small spiral bound book.

"mummy!" he exclaimed loudly.

oh no, who did i owe money to now, and why was sebastian excited about it?

he stopped short, and his chest was puffed out again.

"look!" he said.

look indeed.

the book was entitled "special person....sebastian"

and each student in the class had written SEBASTIAN IS OUR SPECIAL PERSON BECAUSE...

and then their own explanation for why he was a special person to them. and they also drew a picture.

the most popular reason was that he was a superhero. approximately half the class wrote that. oh did sebastian love the pictures of himself flying through the air, saving people.

but then there were others such as:

- he is a good reader

- he is friendly

- he is funny

- he is handsum

- he is good at writing

- he is our frend

- he is gud at games

- he doesn't hit

- he is happy

- he is cute and he is sweet (this picture had him holding hands with a girl)

oh what a gorgeous book. what a gorgeous little boy.

what a great idea special person is.

has sprung

i wish you were in hong kong right now. it was a gorgeous day to appreciate the city, its different nuances and cultures.

after my last day at p&t, i trotted next door and picked up carys, took her downstairs to the car and popped her into the carseat. then i gave jasper, sela and carys smooches (actually by this time they weren't my kids any more, they were shrekie, fiona and donkeh). i told them i was going to walk to my meeting.

so i started my walk. down from borrett road to bowen road. to cotton tree drive. cross over to hong kong zoo, tell some tourists the bus to take them to the peak is the #15.

the city is drenched in sunlight. birds are singing. in the zoo, the flamingoes rush from one side of the cage to another. the salmon pink of their feathers a colour i havent seen lately, at least not in this massive moving size.

i decide that tomorrow the kids and i (hopefully mc as well) will have a picnic here. there is a jaguar as well, which will make for a good dora the explorer story.

i continue waking, and because i have time to wate before my meeting, i walk past cafe o to one of my favourite places, the hong kong central market. i have blogged about this outdoor market before, which is right underneath the escalators. i buy some gorgeous lilies for andrea, who has been quite sick. i also buy some for our flat, with some gorgeous peonies as well.

i'm now walking with the scent of flowers under my nose, while in my peripheral vision, fish flop in one inch of water, star fruit, grapes, apples, seeds and other fruit and veg are being sold, as vans drive down the middle of the street. oh hong kong, i love you so.

i dart into a stationery shop and buy more painting paper for the p&t. inside the shop everyone is eating lunch, and in true chinese style, everyone is sharing what they have brought. they all pool their meals: mcnuggets, chips, chinese veggies, some sort of meat, rice, and pop pan chicken biscuits, to be enjoyed by all. the shop keeper wipes his hands on his pants, counts off the remainding 17 sheets of paper, totalling $51. he smiles and says, "$50", even before i ask for a discount.

i am bulky now, walking back up to hollywood road, getting bumped into a lot. but there is no malice. i keep walking until i am at my destination, and then i sit down, enjoy my meeting, and head back home.

i drop off andrea's flowers and ask if she wants to join us....(she doesn't)..... my lovely & funny friend tara and i are catching a late afternoon movie - JUNO.

then park n shop. the shop is fairly empty, i buy easter eggs in anticipation for the hunt or playground will hold during the easter holidays. and it is good.

and then i came home and i videotaped the kids in the bathtub and sang songs with them, hearing about western park. jasper read me a book, carys told me a story, and sela counted to 20 by twos, while sebastian sang me a song.

my melody. my city. my life.

it's all so great.

by the time i wake up tomorrow there should be some interesting results coming out of ohio and texas.

until then....

this week i am working at the parent and toddler association...i really like interacting with the little kids. it is for a set period of time, and their mums are there. they're not my responsibility. it's the best of all worlds!

the triplets love that i am coming to school with them each morning, even though i am not in their school. yesterday i walked sela and jasper to their classroom. today, i was standing in the front of small world (which is in the same building as ppa and many other non profit organisations in hong kong), and carys was standing there. she disobeyed a teacher's order, and kept looking at me. miss gail looked at carys and asked, "what would you like carys, you can whisper it in my ear".

after a few seconds she glanced up and moved away and said, "i know what carys would like."

i bent down to carys and she said softly, "i would like you to walk me to my classroom today."

i just knew that she had picked up that i hadn't accompanied her to class yesterday. little button.

so i took her to class, watched her take her name and stick it on the "I AM HERE" wall...walked her into the classroom and gave her a smooch goodbye.

then i walked up to p&t. and watched two year olds interacting with their mums, and the relationships there.

a two year old needs its mum for so much more than a four year old does.  i saw that so clearly today. and i felt so proud seeing how my kids don't need me in a varity of ways i hadn't even noticed.

while i rejoice in my four's independence - i also sigh. because i can see ways that i am no longer "needed". the changing relationship. i love the different stages. but i know there are some big ones coming, where they will set boundaries, good boundaries.   

as parents, we pray that our kids will see their next birthday. but i think it is normal to feel wistful as each phase slips away, as much as we welcome the new one.

forget the porridge, momma bear ... who's sitting in my chair?

things are going crazy in hong kong.

my micro world is just fine, kids okay (although the triplets took a NAP this afternoon...what does that mean, a NAP?) ...but economically, rents have gotten out of control.

our building is a fine example of this.

when we moved into 122 everyone said it was a great deal. and it was. for four years, we have enjoyed living in government quarters with a huge play area for kids, and like minded people as neighbours. unlike many hong kong residences, at 122 we are a real community. we have 122 block parties, barbeques, easter egg hunts, girls nights out, and good times. we are mostly like minded people.

so you can imagine how we felt one year ago when our rent was increased by 50 per cent. it was a blow to the solar plexus. 122 went from being the great deal of the century to a pretty good value for your money.

unlike some of our neighbours who got their rent increases around the same time, we didn't even bother looking around. why bother, really? moving expenses, we demurred, the cost of travel to school each day, bla bla bla, but what it really comes down to is this is our home. this is the only place we have ever lived as a family.

we live within 300 steps of the hospital where the triplets were born. charles was in this flat the day i told him i was pregnant. this is the only home our children have ever known. these kids are their peeps. they don't have nearby relatives, but they have andrea, susan, tara, katie, mel, weng, jennifer...and all their kids. this is their safe place. and mine for goodness sake.

so we paid the rental increase. and people kept moving into our building, talking about what a great deal it was, while the rest of us old timers lamented about "the good old days" when the rents were so much lower.

in the past two weeks i found out that the top floor of the building is renting for approximately twice what we are paying currently. today i found out that the fifteenth floor is renting for USD$7.500 per month. the unwritten code of our building says that rents increase $500 HKdollars per floor, which means that when our turn for rental increase comes up, we will be asked to pay about $55,000.(6.5Kusd)

that would be close to 40 per cent increase in what we are currently paying.

if we gave up our flat, which would be the logical thing to do, there would be few options of where we could live. the logical thing to do would be to go home, if we had a job to go home to. but we don't have a home. so that is not an option.

so where to move to? this is something we are praying about. in the purpose driven life rick warren points out the futility of worrying about things we have no control over and asks how many hours we dedicate to such troubles. i am going to take a stand that i won't (overly) fret about this. i am going to pray about it, and that is the best and only thing i can do.

but if we did move out, i would feel like the new occupants of 6a were living my life. imposters in tesstown. moving from room to room in a flat that was still mine. how do families leave homes? i know only bricks and mortar, but it is so much more. it is friends, it is love it is my kids joy coming home, changing, and racing off to play happily with their friends and try out different toys.

i don't want to leave here.

but God knows that.

let's see how it gets resolved.

tess tooted!

i have just returned from being an exemplary wife. all night long.

a few weeks ago i was walking along the escalators when i saw a sign advertising a newly opened massage place. i would have kept walking if it hadn't been for the words, "couples massage room". hmmm.

magnificent charles loves massages.

his wife is rather "meh" about them.

magchar thinks they are the bees knees.

his wife tends to get cold and possibly a teensy bit bored. i always think of things and then wish i had a piece of paper to write my ideas or need to follow up on items down on.

anyway...i booked us in the couples room for 100 minute side by side massages. can you imagine! what an act of love!

and i shaved my legs for this stranger, an act of kindness that my husband rarely receives!

i asked charles that he be home by 7pm, and he obliged. he didn't know where we were going, and he didn't even mind that we took the bus into town. technically, as it was a date night and it was tess creating the perfect date for charles, the mode of transportation should have been a taxi, but i just couldn't justify spending $40 when a bus ride into town was $9 for the both of us...right?

i led him up on to the escalators, and he was bemused, intrigued and then ecstatic as we entered into the massage place.

they gave me a little thong to wear and magnificent got boxers, and we changed quickly and the 100 minutes commenced.

it was pretty good, i was cold though....but at one point, thankfully during the massage oils, i tooted. NOT MY FAULT! i think the woman pressed the pressure point in my foot that makes one toot. at any rate, yay, it was not loud enough to be heard over the titanic soundtrack that we were listening to, and it wasn't more scented than the oils shall we say. magnificent says he never smelt a thing, but he could be lying or he could have been asleep.

i asked for more towels halfway through. 100 minutes is a very long massage. longer if you're cold. but even the second half was pretty long.

all week long, when i was telling friends about my massage plans, they were impressed. how wonderful, etc.

it was nice, but mainly it was nice because i know how much magchar loves massages. i had so many other ways that i could have spent the money. truthfully, if it hadn't have been a discount treatment, i am not sure i would have done it. but it was severely discounted...less than $50 canadian per person for 100 minutes of massage...so what is a daughter of frugal blake to do?

afterwards, we went out for thai beef salad and vietnamese pho ga soup. very tasty. heading out of the restaurant i asked magnificent how he wanted to get home. he said "taxi" and home we went. twice a bus passed us that would have taken us straight home, but i didn't say anything. (or if i didn't press the point).

exemplary wife! except for the tooting tess bit, but that doesn't count because he claims he didn't hear it.