as of this summer, i have a recurring dream.
charles and i are getting divorced.
he is the one instigating the divorce, and i am quite devastated wondering why, what to tell the children, etc.
the first time i had the dream i thought it was because we had been apart for three weeks - which as we know is far too long!
but then, i returned to hong kong and a couple of nights later, there i was back in dreamville, learning that while charles didn't YET have a girlfriend, there was the possibility.and he wanted a divorce. in last night's instalment, i forced charles to tell my brother and his family that he was divorcing me. he did and walked out of the room which was a bit like a warehouse.
what shakes me up in these dreams is;
a) how definite charles is that he doesn't want to work on our marriage
b) how devastated i am
prior to the onset of these dreams, i never spent much time thinking about MC and i divorcing. it just didn't enter into my realm.
and now it's here. not that charles has ever indicated the wants a divorce during my waking hours - but the only thing more daunting than life as a single parent is the concept to me of a life without charles. even if we didn't summer together, even if i don't see a lot of him as he settles into the new job, he is still my mc, and the person i am most concerned for, the person i will defend first, the person i want to tell my good news to, and talk with just as i drop off to sleep.
why would i dream this? i don't know and have'nt wasted any time googling, analysing or asking. i'm just grateful that it is all a dream and that i have my life.
I'm no dream expert, but I've often found dreams that repeat themselves means there's something in the real world that is unsettled. I bet its the transition into the new jobs, the vacation away from MC, the move into the new flat, and the new school year .... and those are just the big life changes that I'm aware of!! Girl - you have just experienced some big events in your life and as a result, I am confident that your brain is seeking your deepest fears while you are helplessly asleep in order to put those in order too....you wait and see, when the dust settles, all will be right within the land of nod - of that I have no doubt!
Posted by: Jill Swann | August 27, 2011 at 02:40 PM
Don't get your mother started on that path! She subscribes to the Baptist credo....Divorce...NEVER...Murder,...Hmmm.
Love to all....Dad
Posted by: GDadLyons | August 28, 2011 at 05:02 AM
I agree, usually it means there is something that needs to be resolved. You are feeling separate from Charles and you don't like it. Can't blame you! As this all settles down into a new routine, the dream will likely disappear.
Posted by: Kathleen999 | August 28, 2011 at 05:34 AM
I like ANMJ on FB & just subscribed to the email feed! :)
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