I am surrounded by love.
Yesterday was a tough day for me. There have been plenty of tough days recently, as we delve deeper into Seb's issues, the ramifications and try to push away contributing factors like hormones! As I push away the uneasy concern that my anticonvulsants "caused" this.
At the center of the love is Seb, because today as for so many days, my life is Seb centered. "Thank you for staying to see me in the relay mummy" he said, wrapping his arms around me today. "Thank you. It made me so happy and I was so surprised."
Im so glad I did the tough thing and go back to face the reality I was trying to avoid.
I sent texts to the mums who supported me yesterday and without fail, three of them texted back, assuring me of love. And support whenever.
Are other mums in such need? It doesn't seem so. I am not comfortable being so weak, but I am so grateful, when I see the acts of kindness that I don't think my son can even comprehend. Admitting I am not doing well. But I don't pretend anything else. I don't pretend all is well.
If you're going to ask me how Im doing, chances are I will tell you the truth.
These past two weeks were tough, but now that we are emerging with a plan for Seb, it's getting better. Slowly.
I hope when this down cycle is done, I do not forget the kindness. I do not think I will.
KINDNESS PROJECT DAY 1
Seb and I had an appointment with a doctor this morning. We were waiting for the HR88 minibus for quite some time. Finally, an available taxi appeared and we decided to take that. We jumped in and then I saw the man behind us in the queue, the only other person. So I asked him if he wanted a lift with us. He said yes. I wouldn't let him pay.