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November 19, 2004


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Oh yes, you are right, God is there too. It takes courage to sort through these type of emotions, and I admire that. In reading your blog and the site for the babies it is clear that you have all been through so much, and yet you have your sense of humor, your daily triumphs, those gorgeous children. Hurrah! :)

Oh and another thing, you are a mother of mothers. You've earned your badges in courage and strength, dedication and determination. Sounds like acceptance will be one of the next ones. The motherhood one? You started it long ago, and I'm sure you'll be taking it to new levels every day. But you are a mother, and a good one.


Please, please please tell us, share with us and get these things off your chest. You are every bit of a mother as your friend with a 9 pounder, maybe even a teensy bit more.


That was the one thing that always stayed with me as I read your posts about Jasper, Sela and Carys - that you and Charles were in this completely and totally together. And there is no doubt to me that from the moment you had your OHSS you were doing everything within your power to be the best mum possible. I can only imagine what your pregnancy was really like for you. The word fugue seems so accurate a description. The emotion, the surgery, the fact that you had Sebastian at home needing your love and care, the worry over the spot on Carys's lung, and having to make your decision about how to best give her a good life, even if it was possible it would be far too short, and oh so thankfully not.

Tess, you may not have felt like an average, every day mummy, but there is good reason for that. You have been an EXTRAORDINARY mummy. We've all been witness to it. Be easier on yourself, ok? (Pretty please?) And please share all you want, I love reading what you've written, even when the subject is a tough one.


Carrie Jo

That reminds of something my husband and I talked about before we got married. He said to me, "Our marriage is not complete unless God is a part of it." And while neither of us practices any particular religion, we both have very strong faith in God.

Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Grief, sorrow, and stress come in stages. It probably wouldn't be very heathly to experience it all at once. It makes perfect sense to me that you're still sorting out all of your feelings since the birth of your babies. You're an amazing stong woman. It's so awesome that you and Magnificent Charles are so committed to eachother.

Mum aka Mo aka Maureen

Oh sweetheart! I have read today's blog about 3 times and cannot get through it without tears. I congratulate you for choosing to dig deep and walk through the tough stuff. Praise God for His help to you.

I so appreciate your friends who write responses to your blogs. Their honesty, support, unconditional love and care for my daughter, that would be you Tess!! really touches me. Thank you, dear friends of Tess.



Isn't it amazing to see that miracles still happen in our lives? Blessings, hugs and thanks for sharing.



You certainly have a way with words, and I know your children couldn't ask for a better Mommy! Just take every thing one day at a time, and you'll be just fine... You're already doing better than you imagine you are!



I know what you mean. Please keep sharing your thoughts. You are a wonderful mother.


Dear Tess,

Thanks God that Seb, Jasper, Sela and Carys had a SuperMom and Magnificent Dad!
When they're still small, they fight for their life every moment. At that time, You and Charles stand by their side, support them, and pray for them! It's far more than a usual mom and dad, not just the breast milk...

yes, the road is not easy, but God prepared the best for your family! Thanks for sharing your feeling and experience to us, we'll keep praying for you all.



Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, my goodness, YES.

Sara 观星

You're every bit a mom. I understand what you're saying, though. There's a necessary disconnect in such situations, because you have to be strong--but it doesn't make you any less a mother. It anything, it makes you more of one--because you were put in an impossible situation, and you held yourself together.

Situations like yours and Tertia's, I can't even begin to fathom. The people you were thinking about as "real moms" with their 9lb bouncy infants? They have it easy, so who's to say that in the silly contest of "who's a real mom", that you don't have their butts whipped?


Writing is so therapeutic, so glad you are healing by writing. you went through so much, it will take quite some time to heal all the bits.


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