i went to bangkok yesterday.

as we landed i looked out my window. the tarmac was congested with planes, bringing in the water and supplies needed to prevent further deaths. the other passengers were an interesting mix: those who were meant to be holidaying in phuket and decided to head off to bangkok instead of staying home, thai residents returning home, business people, and the occasional pinched-face flyer.

i saw maybe five of them.

these were people whose hands couldn't hold a magazine, whose mouths were slightly open, whose food went untouched. some of them pressed their feet to the plane's floor the entire time, willing it ahead.

these people could be put into three categories: claiming their dead, searching for the lost, coming to touch the living.

because i had no luggage, i made it through c&i quite quickly.

in bangkok, an elevator takes you down from c&i to the arrivals hall.

so i was in perfect view to witness someone who had gone ahead of me in line, a mother, sister, cousin, friend, running down the elevator screaming with open arms to the woman who was scrabbling up the elevator steps. their hug i saw through my tears.

the woman waiting below i imagine was a tsunami survivor. the survivor couldn't wait to hold the new arrival. as if touching someone familiar who wasn't there could dilute some of what she witnessed.

i'm having trouble watching any more of the tsunami aftereffects on television. there is no doubt that live on the spot journalism and the internet has helped raise the amazing money that is flowing in from around the world to help the victims and prevent more death.

but it sears at my heart seeing their pain.

is it worse for us because we knew phuket? had stayed there? that we knew the maldives? had stayed there? that barring the tsunami we would have been in phuket in six weeks time for chinese new year?

i don't think so. regardless of geography, everyone is mourning, feeling subdued, and sickened as the death toll mounts. crying when they hear of the kindnesses shown to tourists by impoverished and mourning locals.

my own 2004 was a maelstorm, a small agony. (Carys at left 18 days old - the worst was yet to come.) we were recipients of generosity and prayers as well. we were shocked to realise that people we had never met were praying for our babies' survival and were emotionally involved in our family. if only the afflicted in aceh knew that.

through the tsunami of 2004 we learned natural disasters show no favourites as death and destruction hit the rich, the poverty stricken, celebrities and locals, villas and huts, coastline and islands.

and in 2004 we also learned no man is an island.

Comments

[Boulder]

I wrote to a very good friend earlier this week and said:

"I am thankful for the experiences that have provided personal growth in 2004, but am glad to have them behind me/us, and I'm looking forward to a rewarding 2005 for all of us."

That was the best that I could sum up an extremely crappy year. But a year that, none the less, left me hopeful for the next.

I cannot fathom what the losses feel like that so many families must be experiencing even as I write. My thoughts have been with them for days. It must have been gut wrenchingly emotional to have seen that reunion first hand. One of many, but one of not enough like it.

No, we really aren't an island, and it is comforting to know that we have people like you to call friends as we go into 2005.

Happy New Year~

xoxo

[Bridgette]

I can't watch the news anymore. Too horrible to even comprehend. How do you wrap your brain around 135,000 lost lives? And now they have no food or water. While I sit here shoveling food in my mouth, and feeding my babies, others are starving, and watching their babies slowly starve. Horrible is not a powerful enough word for this disaster...

[Auntie Pammie]

Until this disaster happened , I had been reflecting on how 2004 had been a terrible year for me.

I/We( the entire family) had been on high alert when the babies were born so early, we worried about Tess and how this pregnancy would effect her health, we were on further alert while Carys battled on and defeated her killer virus.

I had personally assisted with helping my Grandfather being placed in a long term care facility and made return flights out to Vancouver (from Edmonton) to assist my Grandmother as she dealt with this huge change. This was a stressfull time as well.

My personal life was in turmoil for most of 2004. I was unhappy with my job(s) , my marriage, my weight, my hair color etc.

I was being so selfish in my own world of "sorrow" that it took a World Wide disaster to slap me back to reality and make me do a good check around me. My family is now healthy, happy and most of all ..Alive. I have my health, my work, a roof over my head, more food than I need, clean drinking water, clothes, medicine and my family and friends. I am more grateful now than ever before.

I can only donate my blood and money to help those poor souls whose lives are forever changed from this terrible event. I offer my prayers and condolences.

I also know that I look forward to what life has to offer in 2005.

sorry bout the rambling.....