something happened on the route from a to b

the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

very interesting if you are concerned with elementary school memorization verses, but when you're a mother...who really cares?

here is my straight line. the babies and i are in the playroom and as i lift my tea to my mouth and inhale before blowing on it, i become aware that carys has an appalling nappy. child of the crime is happy in the playroom so i decide to bring the wipes and nappy to the playroom. i stand up, and as i walk out of the playroom i see the corner of the bathroom and notice that sebastian's potty seat needs to be put back on top of the toilet. i do that, and as i walk out of the bathroom i see that my bedside lamp is still on. feeling frugal blake's gaze on me, i rush into my bedroom and switch off the lamp. as i flick the switch, i see that there is a smear on the window. i check it out, and grab one of the socks i wore yesterday (which is at the foot of the bed) and wipe off the window. then i take the sock and find its mate which is further up the bed. (i wear socks to bed but take them off right before i turn on my side and head off to sleep). i then look at the rucked up bed, tuck the socks into my sleeves and make the bed. pause for a minute and admire the bed. even though the cat's claws have taken their toll, i still really like the fabric, and the design. anyhow...oh right, the socks in my sleeve. i put them in the laundry pile then notice that the pile is getting a bit full. there's only one wet towel, that means that magnificent, who is a two towel man, left the other...where is it...oh here it is in our bathroom, draped over the door. i sniff it, and yes, it needs to be washed. it has that wet smell so familiar to the tropics. i grab it and see my face in the bathroom mirror. my eyebrows need attention, so i grab the faithful TWEEZERMAN (Who deserves to be knighted...these are the best tweezers in the WORLD) and pluck three stray hairs from one side and four from the other.

i throw the second towel in with the first and the socks and my underwear bags and a few other things, and march into the other bedrooms, hoping to collect a full pile of laundry. in the babies room i notice that a folded pile of laundry is sitting on top of the change table, beside a pile of nappies.

change table?  nappies? this is striking a familiar chord.

oh bleeding night. there is a filthy nappy needing my attention.

however, playroom is quiet. everyone's happy there. i'll just put away the pile of laundry, there can't be more than 10 pieces in it, and then i'll change the nappy.

charles' socks, two shirts of mine. i take them to our room and nod as i see the smear free windows. as i close the wardrobe, i see a book mel lent to me ages ago. i am going to be seeing mel tonight. i take the book to the chinese medicine cabinet we keep right near the front door. put it there.

see the computer. oh man! i haven't emailed mandy back to confirm my attendance at monday's introduction session for our new supervisors at the playgroup. i sit down and write her a quick email. and check my emails. drop by a few other sites.

can't be five minutes later, the phone rings. i pick it up and start walking back down the hallway. egads! a colossal error on the dining room table upsets me, but i remember the laundry. and isn't there one other thing? back in the babies room there are a couple of pieces left, towels.

the towels are kept right beside the medicine cabinet (not the chinese one, that is near the front of the flat) and as i put away the towels i see that the medicines are all messy. children's stuff has invaded the adult corner. bandages (and i am guilty for this) are no longer in their nice little drawer. and what's this? oh, the yeast infection kit i bought last time i was in canada will expire in one year. i hope i get an infection within the next year, i would hate to waste the money i spent on the kit. well, if i don't need it i am sure one of my friends will. i double check, it is a three day kit, but promises no more hassle after the first.

shut the door to towels and cabinets, and turn my head and look at the second bathroom. all seems well there. keep walking, oh the babies are happy chewing on feet, toys and lurching around. babies....besides the fact i should be playing with them why are they niggling me? oh well.

can someone explain to me what possessed me to leave the laundry basket in the middle of the nursery??? please??? have i completely lost my mind? i pick it up and walk through the back door to the kitchen. with my spare hand i pick up the extra formula and dump it in the sink. debate rinsing the bottles but decide i will do that on the way back.

in the laundry room i run into lita who grabs the basket from me. i spot some sweet potatoes and ask her if she wants me to take it into the kitchen. we mentally go through the contents of the freezer and decide yes, the sweeties should go to the kitchen.

in the kitchen.

and i hear a little cry. i have some lysol wipes for the second bathroom that i grabbed from under the kitchen sink. i rush to the bathroom, promising the babeolas i will be there very soon. wrench open the sink, and see tissue with nemo cartoons on it that sebastian loves.

wait a minute! sebastian! he is getting off the bus right now!

i call to lita that i am going to the bus.

he's not back yet?

hopefully not.

the elevator is slow but that's not so bad because i can put on my shoes while i wait for it.

down on ground floor, the bus is just pulling up. sebastian does his usual routine, jumping the final step from the bus to the ground, blowing kisses to the bus mother and the bus driver, and bending down to see the bus tyres.

come ON, come ON! i urge sebastian, and his friend adam and adam's sister asheligh who are coming over for lunch.

okay, we are upstairs and sebastian and adam run to do their wees. i apologise to nilda, adam's helper, and say that i have to change carys' nappy, could she please make sure sebastian washes his hands.

sure, go ahead, ma'am.

yes, right thank you. really.

in the playroom again. and the babies are gone. gone? is it nap time already? i wish! i hear a baby familiar sound and realise i passed them as we flew in the front door. lita has changed not just carys but all of them and they are playing with their fists and pieces of leftover food on the carpet.

"lita", i start, then stop.

i look at the scene before me, retreat back to the playroom and grab my near cold tea, take a sip, make a face and walk into the kitchen and pour it down the drain. contemplate washing the cup, but put it next to the sweet potatoes instead. i walk out to the babies and lita again, but first i help sebastian put his bob the builder underpants back on and roll up his sleeves.

lita is still looking at me expectantly. had i been saying something?

slowly, painfully i yank back to one minute ago. babies, new room, new nappy.

"oh right. lita, why did you change carys?"

she looks at me carefully. is this a trick question? a mother about to crack? she answers in a polite tone.

"well, little carys had done a poo and was crying and i wasn't doing anything (and i know this is not true! she is always busy!!) so thought i would change the baby...i hope you don't mind."

"no, i don't mind, but i was just about to do it."

really, i was.

what has just happened (and happens everyday) remindes me of SHREK, when the dragon is chasing shrek, princess fiona and donkey around the castle. remember, she's on the chain and they keep darting around posts and through pathways until the dragon runs out of chain and is virtually paralysed?

THAT IS ME! I AM THE DRAGON.

hear me roar.

Comments

[Janis]

OMG!

I am laughing so hard as I read this. Not because you sound crazy, but because I do the same thing. Every day.

I cannot focus, cannot stay on task, cannot get it all together. I fear if one day I did, I'd forget where I put it and be totally lost forever.

I can't tell you how many cups of coffee I've found cold, how many diet cokes with only a sip or two missing gone warm and flat. How many times I've started one thing, noticed a second thing, then a third, fourth, ACK! I'm late! And never get back to the first thing.

*sigh*

I used to have it all together. Really I did. But somewhere along the line, my functioning brain cells and I parted ways.
Little buggers jumped ship on me.

Thank you for helping me to see that I'm not alone in my "no method to the madness" ways.

Much love, xoxo

[Auntie Pammie]

Ok, the mascara is running down my face for two reasons. Firstly, I am laughing because of your story, and secondly I am laughing because I realize how normal I am . I can start off on a mission to do one solitary thing and end up in a different section of the house doing another chore that was not as important, but had caught my attention.
Thank-you for making me feel so much more normal!

[trinie]

Tess, I'm laughing and laughing at the picture you are painting. I don't even have the excuse of little people around - and I do exactly the same thing.

[Amber]

I am gonna need a quick nap after that. Will post later...LMAO!!

[Lioness]

I'm a bit dizzy now, and a bit scared bcs this sounds like me too often and I have NO kids. I'm trying to reform. Oh hell ok, I'm also much amused by the post!

[SheilaC]

Smiling and shaking my head in wonder - Tess, this is the story of my days! Worse when the kids were smaller, but still very much how I stumble through the day. (I was going to say "function" but it's pretty disfunctional!) Nice to know others do it too. Sometimes I think I have very few brain cells left. Or at least that there are quite a few loose connections!

Just found your blog a couple of weeks ago, via "Raising WEG". I remember your birth and neonatal story from the Triplet Connection, so nice to see how things are going for you now. The photos are wonderful; your kids are so gorgeous!

Oh yeah, and hope you have a great trip to Canada! If we lived closer (SK) I'd try to get together with you for coffee.

Thanks for sharing your sometimes moving, sometimes funny, always thoughtful blogs.

Sheila

[Karen Ritchey]

You had me spellbound!
Thank you for your honesty, which is so funny.
Don't ever stop this writing that we so enjoy...I dare say you are therapeutic!

Was thrilled to see you Mom, the Rehns, the Klosse's and other Yellowknifers this weekend.

Love,
Karen