laws of relativity

last night magnificent charles and i realised something relatively parent shattering:

we have different rules for our different children.

we did not intend this. but somehow, it has happened.

sela and to a lesser extent jasper, if they commence screaming during quiet hours, are largely left to their own devices to soothe themselves back to sleep. a few nights ago, sela was awoken by carys' sobbing and upon witnessing daddy airlifting sister carys to the safety of his hairy protective embrace, sela started crying.

leave her alone, instructed charles. she'll find her thumb and stop soon enough.

it took 14 minutes for sela to cease. during that time, we had put carys back down again, and she had continued her wailing. so she was scooped back up again. sela witnessed the second lifting and was cool with it.

but what struck me as odd was, we jump for carys. and not so high or fast for the other two. we are so accustomed to sela sleeping first and longest, that you would think we would jump on the rare occasion when our little lusty lass awakens. but no. however, a prolonged carys wail gets us a hopping.

jasper rests somewhere between the two. he sleeps least of the babies and cries probably the most. but he does tend to soothe himself back to sleep. sebastian, if he cries, gets a "run to" because it means he has fallen out of bed. thankfully those occasions are few and far between.

are sebastian, sela and jasper going to grow up figuring carys is spoiled?

is she?

i really don't think so. maybe we baby her a leetle. but, not nearly as much as everyone else does. which makes our babying okay, in case you are keeping track. carys goes to bed the same time as her siblings do, if she takes too long to eat we simply remove the bottle or bowl as we would with the others. we are not wrapped around her finger, but we are more aware of the tenuous health. it's a fact: the chances of carys getting sicker, faster are higher. she could be the preemie olympic motto: aegrum, citius, in mauis.

so if we hear her cough, we're interested. especially during RVS season. its not like we give her a handful of sugar and soothe her by letting her watch television with us.

by the teen years, i am sure each child will be accused of being treated with favoured eyes. sebastian because he was an only child, jasper because he was the only triplet boy, sela because she attracted attention, and carys because she was so sick and tiny.

but tonight, those teen years and accusations are a decade plus away. i am sure there is something else i can fret about with a slightly closer timeline.

Comments

[Mum aka Mo aka Maureen]

Loved it, Tess! To be a parent one needs the wisdom of Solomon. And BTW you and Chuck are doing a marvelous job with your little gang of four.

M xox

[Brandy]

Tess, sometimes you have to do what you have to do. I seem to do that some with Blane due to him being sicker, on oxygen and severe hearing loss. Dylan is smaller but much healthier. So I guess all of us are probably done the samething within our life time. I am sure once she gets healthier then things will turn to all three getting the attention. Hang in there. It will all be good.

[Julie]

You just have to remember that it's going to be impossible to treat all four the same way, because they are four different children. And, if I had one that tended toward sickness, I would come running too... You are doing a great job!!!

Hugs
Julie

[Boulder]

Each of your lovely children are individuals with differing needs, you know that. You are doing what is best for each of them. One may need more attention now, and another later. That is ok. Parents have tough choices to make any number of times in any given day. That is why it is the toughest job on the face of the earth. If it were easy, would it be as rewarding?

I'm the oldest, only girl, only girl granddaughter, etc. I was always special. I don't think it impacted me in the least to be treated differently than all of the boys in the family, you know?

Well, off to polish my tiara.

xoxo