let's do the time warp... x 3

i got a bit of my old life back this weekend.

friday, out at a dinner party. (that the others in attendance were fellow parents of NICU tots show how if life is a tree, your experiences are the vines that twirl around it).

last night, we hosted our third annual block party. we didn't have one last year because i was, well, in my second trimester and never awake past 11pm. but every year we have a pre-chinese new year party for people living in our complex.

i was kind of late getting the invitations out this year, so only about 20 people showed. but that was actually sort of deliberate, and the perfect number of people showed and it was a good mix of newcomers to and veterans of the building, people with toddlers and parents whose kids are heading off to university. being so close to new year's, everyone apparently decided to bring the bubbly they've had kicking around since 31 december, so there was great champagne flowing, and i had made a few nibblies (Bread dip, cheese ball, shrimp dip) and lita had made 60 incredible satays with superb peanut satay sauce. people ate and laughed and all had fun.

it felt like old times, especially since we for one night only re-arranged our flat into it's pre-triplet format. generous neighbour lucy walked in and said, "it's how it used to be!" people at various times trotted in and out of the kids rooms and marvelled at sebastian who has in one of his typical cirque du soleil sleeping positions.

one reason we could justify last night's party was it gave us a chance to come to agreement as to what we should be paying the management team for chinese new year. it is custom in asia for employees to be given red lai see packets from those they work for. children are also given lai see packets and even if you don't know them will approach you and say "lai see da loi"...which basically means "give me money"

the management team is a little more subtle. in the last flat we lived in, the management team would visit the flats one by one, ostensibly to wish us a happy new year, but in reality to make sure we forked over the cash. after the envelopes were safe in their hands, they would tick off your name. they kept the sheet afterwards, and those who were foolhardy enough to say, "i don't give lai see packets, its not part of my culture" found it very difficult indeed to get assistance when something went wrong in their flat in the next months.

this management team doesn't go door to door, but i know they are very aware of who is giving money and who isn't. magnificent charles and i aren't comfortable giving one packet to the head management guy and assuming he will divvy it up appropriately, because to be honest, some employees deserve more money than others. dear to my heart are the ladies who help me carry the strollers down the stairs, who warn me when a car is coming up the driveway while i am coming down it with sebastian and a stroller and a baby in the bjorn.

then there is the question, how much to give? for many employees across asia, their lai see is a huge percentage of their income. workers in low paying positions need the tradition of lai see to make ends meet. so, we decided last night that although these employees are probably well paid for this type of position, we will give money to everyone. however, some will get more than others. we also agreed on ball park figures of how much to give people we're really pleased with, and how much those we aren't overly impressed with will take home.

it's like the bangkok taxi thing. we know the money won't make a huge difference to our bank balance, and we have no problem giving it, but the receptor must earn it.

just in case you are wondering, CNY is also a time to wear traditional costume and the children, when collecting the lai see clasp their hands together. it is a festive and friendly time of year to be here, giving you a wonderful reminder that although hong kong is a world city and very westernised, remnants of the old stories and traditions still linger.

Comments

[Boulder]

....like it used to be, but BETTER. - my take on it....

:)

Thanks for the cultural bits. So very interesting to know a bit about the customs that you live with and your descriptions are like reading a travel magazine, but nicer because we know you.

And I find it even more interesting because your compassion & sense of "what is right" is the way that I think! I'd be perplexed by the same issues - how to not offend the decision makers, but make certain that the people that you know need it & actually impact your lives positively are properly appreciated too.

Do you have any pictures of the CNY dress up? That would be cool to see!

>>PS - Love the Rocky Horror reference! Did you see me over on the blog belonging to Lioness? I made a song reference in your honor - told her I'd think of her blog as "tainted love" for the time being. Thinking in songs because of you! <<

[Trish]

Oh,how I love reading your blog! It's fascinating learning about the culture you are in and I'd never know any of this without you! Thank you, thank you, thank you for starting this blog! (And thank Tertia too, because I think she had a hand in it?)

It sounds like a wonderful night was had and good decisions were made- you have such a heart and it shines through your writing!