tuesdays with bianca

sebastian's speech therapist moved back to kiwi-land two weeks ago. her name is bianca vowell. with a name like that, what else could she have been? she was predestined to be a speech therapist. and a great one.

the cute but terrorising-on-the-rugby-pitch bianca has enriched sebastian's life so much. she gave him the tools to speak and express himself.

when bianca came into our lives, sebastian's vocabulary was under 30 words. apple juice, mummy, daddy, car, cat, dog, baby. nouns.

for months i had been saying to friends and family,

"i wonder if i should get sebastian to a speech therapist."

for the most part, they all demurred, saying that boys were notoriously slower than girls to speak. charles remembered his mother telling him that he was very slow to talk, and then wouldn't keep quiet once he got started.

but at two and one half, sebastian was getting frustrated with his friends not waiting for his answers, the inability to express what he wanted. definitely time for intervention. i called a few of the audiology clinics, wanting to get his hearing checked, but was told they would not check hearing until the child was three, or in school.

finally, my girlfriend paula, mother to the ringleted annie, one of sebbie's best friends, suggested i call bianca. the next tuesday, bianca came to our flat with a bag full of toys.

that first day, she went into sebastian's room and after half an hour came out with the good news that sebastian had no problems with taking information in (comprehension), but he could not express himself.

"i don't want to seem like an overbearing parent, do you think he needs help?"

bianca smiled, scooped up the barbie, ball, bicycle, and book and said, "he needs help, you definitely did the right thing."

that sentence was a defining moment for me. i had gone against everyone's opinion, and sought help because i felt he wanted and needed it. and the expert agreed with me. i had done the right thing.

over the next months bianca got sebastian talking. she explained to charles and i ways that we could assist sebastian's talking. how to re-shape our conversations and questions.

within four weeks of her visits, sebastian was saying bianca's name.

and then he started tagging verbs to the nouns, and speaking in very basic subject verb object sentences. just a few, but it was music to my ear.

the hearing test revealed nothing that surprised me, sebastian had partial deafness in his right ear. we haven't been able to explore that issue much further, but we will this year.

we would plan surprises for bianca. for five days sebastian and i practised saying the word "crocodile" just to impress her. sebastian knew the purpose was to please bianca, and was so proud when after blurting out "cwocodi-al" she smiled and gave her typical encouraging words, "good talking, sebastian!"

and one day, a few days after a bianca session, for the first time, sebastian asked his teacher, michelle (sebastian's beloved She-shew) a question. a question!

and then, bianca told me in early october she was moving back to new zealand, but her interest in sebastian never flagged. and he continued making strides in school. his words are still very difficult to distinguish, but he is not as afraid to speak. oh sebastian, i am so proud of you!

and then it was her last tuesday with us. sebastian hadn't taken in that she was leaving for good, but i sure had. i was scared. there was talk of her replacement, but bianca had done so much for sebastian. there was no way (without crying) that i could tell her how grateful we were to her, the difference she had made in our precious little boy's life. she was leaving just as sebastian was really taking off.

i tried, but got a bit teary. i could only whisper, thank you for everything and wish her well. wrote her a letter of reference. and of course i forgot to take a picture of her with sebastian. that upsets me a lot.

i think of bianca often, but particularly last week. lita wanted to put on sebastian's jacket, but sebastian strangled out the sentence,

"no, my daddy put it on"

"your daddy is changing his clothes,"

"no he's not, he's doing a big poo!"

embarrassing, sure. but still, thank you for everything, bianca.

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Sweetheart, well done to you for doing what you knew was right IN SPITE of the rest of us telling you not to worry. And well done to Sebbie - we are so proud of your hard efforts. Keep up the good talking, Seb

Mo xox

Posted by: Mum aka Mo aka Maureen | January 04, 2005 at 09:57 PM