when people ask me a question, i feel the need to be honest.

so, when asked by a mother of one of sebastian's friends' friends as to if i was tired, i said i was actually a little sad.

why is that? she inquired.

now believe me, i know you have to choose who you barf your confidences to. so briefly i just said that carys and jasper hadn't had good appointments the other day, and it made me sad.

and her response:

"well...they weren't natural, you knew the dangers and what you were getting into."

yes, well if i wasn't planning on feeling guilty, that's enough to change my mind.

THAT's why i have been silent these past couple of days.

plus magnificent charles is away so i haven't had as much time.

and carys's physio appointment got me a little sad.

but the good news is, i'm getting better.

Comments

[The Good Rachel]

OK. That makes me FURIOUS!!! What an insensitive and ignorant BITCH! WHY on earth would one human being say that to another?!?! I hope you kicked her smartly in the shins and then asked her if you deserved less than perfect children because you had to go to such great lengths to conceive them? And if all things were equal, shouldn't those efforts count in the "healthy children bequests" dept?!

I am sorry that you encountered such an idiotic cow and and I am sorry that your wee cuties are facing challenges that make you sad. Keep feeling better.....inspite of the asshats that would bring you down.

[Kris in Ohio]

Tess, I have been following your story since the triplets were born. I can't believe she said that! How ignorant of her! I'm sorry her ignorance hurt you. Your kids are beautiful and you are a wonderful mom.

[VHMPrincess]

What a terrible thing to say - I'm sorry she was so ignorant and rude.

Glad you're doing a bit better - hope it continues!

[knobody]

this is where i would have the temptation to be extremely rude back (and probably throw in a few four-letter words just to punctuate my point). but then, i'm not a very nice person. if ivf were inherently so dangerous does she think it would be an alternative? granted i don't know everything, but people who are so ignorant in even the most basic science and refuse to learn are simply not worth my time (except in bitching about, but then having been a professional bitch at times it's probably what i do best). mind if i bitch-smack some sense into that woman for you?

it's frustrating for those of us you share your life with to see J and C struggle, so i can't even imagine how hard it is for you. hopefully they will outgrow/overcome their challenges and be granted easy teenagehoods.

and speaking of bitching, shit it's COLD! it's hit 30 the past couple nights (that's -1 or something to you). okay, i know for the rest of the world that's a winter warm-up, but indulge this thin-blooded floridian a few minutes to conceptualize that if it rained now, it would actually be snowing. speaking of snow, i have wanted to take Sagan to see snow for a year now. anyone here have any snow within driving distance of florida?

[Maddy]

I am flying to HK right now to kick her in the Cee U Next Tuesday!

[Auntie Pammie]

What a ignorant cow, bitch, skank whoever she is. I do know that in life what goes around comes around, and Tess, one day she will get what is coming to her. I hope I never find out who it is as I being a "outsider" would probably give her what I am good at..(telling people off and using many 4 lettered words to do so). Hopefully her child/ren do(es) not grow up to be as ignorant and insensitive as she is.

You are a much stronger person than I am .

You tell little Carys to be strong, as when Auntie sees her she will give her extra ice cream ,cookies and lots of love and spoiling to help her through the rough spots. Of course Jasper and Sela will get the same treatment, but it will be extra incentive for Carys while she is at physio!

[Cricket]

Tess,
I'm so sorry you're sad, ignorant public aside. Make sure you find the support you need. You're a great mom and you'll fight hard for your kids. I always marvel at your strength.

cricketchurping.blogger.com

[Karen]

DearTess,

I have wondered why we hadn't heard from you...and I was missing your wonderful writings...now I know.
Some people are so ignorant...perhaps you should send us Miss Brain Burps' address and we could send some equally caring thoughts her way...in a christian way of course!!!!

Here is a special Friendship Prayer for this person...

FRIENDSHIP PRAYER

"May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day,and may their arms be too short to scratch...

AMEN

I love you, we all love you, we love, adore, admire and pray for your family...
each day...and after sending this friendship prayer...I'd better say a prayer for myself!!

Love you,
Karen

[Amber]

I am so sorry your "friend" wasn't smart enough to just say she was sorry. I am sorry she thought it was OK to give an opinion on something she does not know enough about.

Please stay positive & keep doing the tremendous job you are doing. It will pay off in time. The road is rough right now, and your babies need you to keep going.

I admire you. Wish I could be there to hug you, and to listen to your concerns, and I promise I would not say DUMB STUFF!

[blueolive]

Wha-?! Who says something like that?? I wonder why it is so difficult to offer empathy without judgement. Having said that, I realize I'm judging her. The complexities are making my head hurt.

I am sorry you're feeling sad - I hope you get nothing but good news and good vibes from hereon in. Your kids sure are cute!

[Mandy]

Oh Tess. I am so sorry that anyone would feel the need to say you don't have the right to be sad. And to insult your beautiful babies, your lovely miracle babies, just brings tears to my eyes. Damn it.

Thinking of all of you.

[JenL]

GAH!

*Who* in their right mind would think that is an appropriate statement to make?

You are so much nicer than I would've been.

~shaking head~

Here's hoping the sadness lifts and good news comes tomorrow.

[Carrie Jo]

I', sorry there ae people like that. You have every right to feel any way you feel. I hate when people tell someone how they "ought" to feel. I'm glad you're feeling better, and I hope you continue to.

[Trinie]

Oh Tess,

How could someone be so rude? Of course you're allowed to be sad. I just wish that I could come over and give you a great big hug. You're doing a fabulous job with your triplets - and you are ensuring that they reach their full potential.

[Molly]

Tess,
as if, as mothers, we don't have enough guilt that we can come up with on our own! I am so sorry someone said that to you, and it makes me brace myself for the dumb things people will (and have) said when I tell them that Andrew has Downs Syn. Most people tell me they are "so sorry" and that makes me feel sad and crappy b/c it implies that he is somehow not how he should be! You are an amazing mom. A friend told me last week (she has 4 kids who have issues that range from autism to other stuff) that she kept questioning God as to why HER children were "difficult" and he told her, if I didn't give them to YOU, who should I give them to? Our children and your children are not a burden, but blessings with extra challenges that He will give us the grace to handle. Who wants to have "typical" kids anyway? How boring would that be?

sending love from Florida...
Molly
PS - Amazing Jeff (my dh) wrote a post to our blog yesterday that was very inspiring to me - wanted to share it with you...
http://vothfamilyadventure.blogspot.com

[Mum aka Mo aka Maureen]

Tess darling, I am so proud of you.

Love as always, M xox

[Brandy]

Okay, that makes me so mad. How dare someone say that to anyone. I had someone that felt the sameway about me, but I couldn't control myself and let them have it. I can't believe she said that. Some people have no feelings at all. Sorry that happened. Prayers coming your way.

[Scully]

Well that comment was wrong on so many levels!

All children are natural? They're not androids!

Oh, what a rotten rotten thing to say.

Ignore it.

Must I fly to Hong Kong and slap people?

[Trish]

Tess- just wow. I just cannot fathom the stupidity and carelessness of people and their comments. I just don't even know what to say- that would have hurt me, to be honest, quite deeply.

I'm just sorry- so sorry for the stupidity of others.

[Laura]

Tess,
What an ignorant bitch. And you can tell her we all said so! "Natural"?? WTF?? I guess if I ever have one it will be very unnatural by her standards!
Sending extra prayers to you and J and C and S and S and Mag. C!!!!
What a tough week you have had on top of the stress of just trying to take care of your family!
Wish I could have you over for a cup of tea.......or something stronger!

xoxoxoxoxo

[Maggaggie]

Wondering where you had been. Sorry that you've been feeling bad. That was a horrible thing for that woman to say-ignore it. Some people never grow up.

Give Carys and Jasper and Miss Sela a big hug. An extra hug for my favorite Carys. And Sebbie.

Hang in there, Mag. Charles will be home soon, right? : )

[Julie]

I am sorry your friend said such an insensitive thing... This is not your fault! Your kids have a wonderful, supportive Mom, and it's OK to be sad... Just shows your concern and love for them.

Hope hubby comes home soon!!!!

Hugs!
Julie

[Deborah]

Oh Tess!

I remember people being so insensitive to me after my first son was still born,like oh you can have more, GOD musthave wanted him, or even better there must have been something wrong with him so it is better this way. urgggg

I will pray for you to forgive and the Lord to forgive her and in addition for the kids to be just who GOd wants them to be, hang in there.

Love Deborah Sedgewick

[Janis]

Tess, you need to send this woman a litle card that reads, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."

I can't even come up with names vile enough to call her. Well, I can, but I don't want to use them here.

I'm sorry there are so many ignorant people in the world.

Much love... xoxo

[Janis]

Tess, you need to send this woman a litle card that reads, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."

I can't even come up with names vile enough to call her. Well, I can, but I don't want to use them here.

I'm sorry there are so many ignorant people in the world.

Much love... xoxo