i was feeling a little sad today, in fact all weekend i was feeling pretty down. just feeling i wasn't good enough. and i tried, believe it or not, reaching out to a friend, and it didn't work. that made me feel even worse!

sitting down with my comfort cuppa, i realised that choosing the babies outfits for the day couldn't really be considered my accomplishment, so i decided to head back to the computer, where i have been trying to write my book.

the book is a recollection of the triplets conception, gestation, birth and NICU stay. this is tough business. so much of it i don't remember, so much i wish i could forget. i thought writing was meant to be cathartic!

so, when it got tough a few weeks ago, i sort of stopped writing for a while. i had given myself the goal of 500 words a day. and all i was doing was re-reading the same passages, wondering if that had really happened to me, and if so, where had i been?

so i got about 800 words and some editing done. to paraphrase our friend elton john, "the book is back!"

over the weekend we actually did some fun stuff, in between hospital visits and wiping snotty noses. we had three of sebastian's friends over on saturday for some egg colouring and lunch (Scrambled eggs, of course!), and sunday magnificent and i hauled out both double strollers and walked the babies to chi fu, a very local shopping complex located near our home. as you might imagine, the babeolas were swamped by curious onlookers, and jasper (surprise!) got a little overwhelmed and started crying. but he's a blue eyed, blonde (what little hair he has is blonde!!) boy, and boys can do no wrong, so the crowds just thought he was even sweeter.

the next day, we took the babies walking along bowen road. again, lots of interest from joggers, bike riders, bladers and families. believe it or not, the crowds still thought jasper was cute as he vomitted all over the sidewalk, his legs, feet and hands. he has horseshoes coming out of his nappy, this kid.

magnificent will be posting pix soon. he promises.

and delivers.

Comments

[The Good Rachel]

I am sorry you are having a tough time. We are struggling through the gray just before spring here in New England. It most definitely impacts my mood and anything that would normally fall in the "not good" column instead lands squarely in "well this fucking sucks" status.

I hope all the health concerns with your little brood settle down into good health for you soon.

Rachel

[Jennifer]

Well of course everyone is drooling over them... they are the cutest trio ever! :) Hope everyone is feeling better soon Tess, and good luck with that book.... fabulous idea. XOXO

Jennifer

[Auntie P]

Tess,
I am dying to hear about Seb's appt re" his little knees. I am not in tonight but will be on Wed eve,, Thursday your time. PLease Thank Sebbie from Auntie for the lovely art work he sent me via Mo. I will also thank him when we talk next.
Love to you all,
P
Ps) tell Jasper to keep up the good work :-)

[Karen]

Tess - hope you don't mind but I borrowed your rainbow Antigua picture for my computer wallpaper. It is the most gorgeous picture!!!!!!!!!

[kaykota]

Oh my... the last time I saw your babies, they were still in the nicu. (I found you through ivfc). Time is flying and all of your babies have grown and are GORGEOUS!! I especially love the photo of the four of you (sorry to magnificent!). Love it and am so glad everyone is doing well. Will read more of your blog when I can get the chance.

[Trinie]

Dear Tess,

Awaiting news about Seb's appointment. Hoping that it went well and that he will be 100% soon. Also hoping that the triplets will get over their colds soon too. Take care of yourself through all this drama and know that you remain in our thoughts and prayers.