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October 31, 2005


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Karen Ritchey

Good Morning Tess,

My hackles are up already, just reading about your 'friend'.
I think she needs a refresher course on friendship. Her focus is totally on herself, on her schedule and she doesn't give a flying toot :), about what what she could offer to the 'friendship'. If she doesn't like kids...it seems to me she should get some friends who are nuns, because they 'usually' don't have kids. I remember having 3 kids under the age of 3, and I sifted pretty quickly through 'true' friends, and those who were luke warm. A true friend will bring you supper, or do your laundry, or walk with you and your children, or whatever...but they will do it,NOT because it is for them necessarily, but because they love you, and they love what and who you love. I sure wish I was there to be a true friend, instead of a cyber friend...but I love you, and I love your kids, I love the miracle that each of your children are...and I'd better sign off to leave room for another Mom to write!!!

Love you Tess,

Auntie Pammie

Hey T, nice to have you back. I find myself relating to both sides. 99% of my friends all have young children right now, it is frustrating at times that they cannot come out and play when I want to , but no matter what I always respect that they put their kids first , as that is how it should be. There are times where I love to get out and play with their kids and do stuff together. A true friend will wait and be patient. I hope this makes a little bit of sense.
Auntie P xox


Different people move in different directions. Not all of your current friends will be in the same place in ten years (well, the others with kids the same age might be) as you are. It is nice to grow along with your friends, but if they move along a different path it is nice that you find some new ones along the way.


I'm not going to be down on your friend, 'cause I remember what it was like to be that unconscious. But...

Perhaps tell her that it's like you are the manager of a company. You have working hours and free hours and your free hours are limited, because your responsibilities are huge. And, yes, schedule her for an evening here an there if you can. But if she can't see that a mom of 4! kids! under! 6! has limited free time and needs to schedule WAAAAAAY in advance, then she needs to come back from whatever planet she's visiting.

Says the mom of a singleton.


I can relate. I try to keep in touch with friends but it has to be mutual. I see my single girlfriend, Jessica about every six months. We talk every week but just can't hook up to hang out. You're not alone.

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