those of you who have been with us when we have dined out know we operate on a schedule that would make the folks at ALIAS proud. team leaders magnificent and tess have separate tasks, to ensure the operation runs successfully and smoothly, and a variety of just in case (JIC) moves that can be implemented whenever a plan veers slightly off course. here is how we generally run it.....

call ahead and make a reservation. yes, i said three high chairs. thank you.

when you walk into the restaurant, let people know by your smiles and walk (even though you are carrying either jasper and the nappy bag or sela and carys) that you are confident your kids will not ruin everyone else's dining experience.

when you arrive at the table, move the high chairs away from the table before putting the kids into them. have a packet of wipes in your back pocket incase the highchairs have grungy bits that need to be taken care of. with the kids slightly away from the table, they can't slide the flatware off the table while you are clipping them into relative stillness and submission. smile at the couple and their two children next to you and confirm the triplet status. our preferred seating configuration is a table for six with the adults in the middle. that could change, but for right now it works.

once kids are immobile, clear the table of any excess. flatware, toothpicks, hot sauce, salt, pepper (i can always get the good cracked pepper from the waiter) later on, the little containers that holds the sugars and sweet and low. don't tempt fate...keep every single napkin.

magnificent selects a crayon and draws a few roads and intersections, an airport, a bus stop and a schoool on the paper in front of sebastian, while tess pulls out the mini bus we brought from home. seb enters creative land.

when the waiter arrives with water, pull out sippy cups and fill the cups with that water. promptly remove the glasses.  ask the waiter to bring a breadbasket and to send over whoever is taking our order. agree with the americans that have just been seated next to you that one more and we have a basketball team.

remove bibs from the nappie bag and clip on to each child. wipe down their hands with antiseptic wipes.

order food that can be easily and quickly taken away, just in case. ask that the chips come on a separate plate as the fish fingers and the chicken nuggets. ask that the kids food come as soon as it is ready. refuse sebastian's request that mummy sing the red plane song. sing the song when sebastian is going into the plane and to toronto to see mycousingalen and then he will go to hong kong and then to edmonton. you sing that song mummy.

fish the crayon out of sela's mouth. dip fingers in water, and shove them in sela's mouth looking for any residual crayon.

congratulate jasper for pulling the paper tablecloth.

give babies something to drink.

pull carys' finger out of her ear.

roll eyes in relief when bread basket comes and rip the bread into small pieces, deliver it to outstretched and gleeful hands. ask the waiter to remove the butter. cross examine sebastian as to whether he can finish an entire piece of bread. i'm a big boy!

request that people dont try and lift them the babies out of the highchairs while taking pictures.

when food arrives, don't let the waiters place it infront of the children. you and mc divide up the plates, cutting the fish/chicken into small pieces, covering the chips with a (clean?) napkin and placing them in the middle of the table, where small fingers cannot reach them.

blow on food, making babies believe this will really help it cool faster. transfer all the deep fried protein on to one plate and give the waiter the other plates. the motto: reduce, reuse, recycle. (that would be the straw that sebastian dropped that i bent down and retrieved and calmly handed back to him.)

give triumverate members four pieces of cooled chicken on a mini plate.

give sela and jasper some water.

turn to carys, who is red and choking. look at her plate and realise she has all four pieces of chicken in her mouth..unless...a quick check under the table confirms none of the pieces have been dropped. she's coughing and bending towards you, tears and snot pouring down her face. doing that deep cough.

don't freak out, but in a low voice so no one who is watching (and that is everyone, they've been watching you pretty much since you arrived) can over hear, request some water.

mentally determine what you are going to do if she vomits. what has she eaten in the last while. could the napkin i hold underneath her chin contain everything? she's had a lot of water so it would be hard to tell. if it is a projectile vomit, do i want to take the full force on my own self (therefore saving my reuben), or not?

keep wiping her nose, removing all the bits that are coming flying out each time she gives a deep cough, wave hands around so observers can see my clean hands and the light clear napkin and know she hasn't vomitted.

finally, pocket the small vomit, fold the napkin into eighths, offer daugher water. only offer her one bit of chicken at a time. little lu-lu.

tell sebastian how much it was appreciated that he stayed calm and didn't shriek while carys was sick.

on pretense of asking for more something, summon waiter over and hand him the napkin and request the bill. this is key. request the bill long before you need to leave.

continue eating. only when you are convinced that all three are ready for chips, do you bring out the chips. no child of mine wants to finish their vegetables when their siblings are tucking into chips. to kill time between deep friend protein and deep fried carbohydrate, you can offer yet more bread.

accept the bits of chicken and chip your children are offering you, a sure sign their appetites are on the wane. say, oh thank you, and pretend to nibble on the food, rolling your eyes and still holding their hand. put the food back on the plate.

realise that we are actually talking and relatively relaxed. smile and thank the couple that compliment you on how good your kids are actually being. realise that once the fab four are out of highchairs it will be a completely different story. offer credit card and frequent diner card to waiter.

get the doggy bag. tell sebastian we are so proud of him and he was a pleasure to be with this afternoon.

push away highchairs, unclip children, lift one into arms, lift another into arms, smile at fellow diners who are looking at you with some relief and appreciation, and exit. let children run around downstairs right before the parking lot. ignore sela's loud cries of anger when you pick her up for the final journey to the deepest car park. buckle everyone in. congratulate yourself.

today something neat happened, just as we reached our "tot yacht", a car veered near us, obviously waiting for our spot. they saw charles and i bending over open doors (putting kids into car seats), and beside us, sebastian holding sela's hand wtih one of his own, while he also touched the side of the car. charles then put sebastian into his car seat, while i took care of sela. wtih the last snap, i pulled out of the car, straightened my back and pulled down my shirt, and as i was opening my own door, the driver (they had been waiting for five minutes now) rolled down his window and asked, "do you have more than just twins?" i responded, "triplets and a four year old!"

this guy, in his porche carerra, tooted his horn and started applauding me. way to go, mum! he shouted...taking your whole family out!

and instead of buckling myself into my seat, i got out, and took a bow. 

Comments

[SheilaC]

Great detailed story. NOW I remember why we didn't dine out very often when our trio were small, even before we discovered our son's peanut allergy. It was like planning a major campaign, with many back-up plans and near-crises. A lot of effort for not much nutrition and not much quality time, was our conclusion.

We developed a short list of 2 or 3 eateries that met the criteria: very fast service, always have enough high chairs, something on the menu that each child would eat, stroller accessible, clean rest rooms, noisy family atmosphere so we would fit in!

Now our kids are 5 and we still don't eat out much, except at fast food places with a children's menu. Most places are just too slow to bring the food and the bill, even when we bring along many colouring activities and toys. If the whole experience takes much more than half an hour, one or another of our kids will get too bored and restless, and then we're not having fun any more.

Yes, you earned a bow! Well done, to the whole family!

[Karen Ritchey]

Oh Tess!

I was SO there with you on this story. I could almost smell your dinner, and could picture it so clearly. I smiled and chuckled through the whole meal with you.
Thank you for sharing your lives with us, and for always humoring us, and always making us thankful, and always making us proud.

Hugs and Love,
Karen

[Lyns]

Im just trying to figure out where you ate??? Dan Ryan's?? Loved the part about not taking the kids out of the highchairs...made me laugh out loud!!!

Miss ya..
Lyns

[Karen]

LOVE THIS POST!
You are very amazing for taking all the wee ones out - and you even took a bow. It must have been a moment!!!!

[Auntie Pammie]

Take 2 bows, you and MC, you both deserve it!

[Amber]

wow. that is amazing stuff. You know what? God gave you exactly what you needed...and you do it so well. It is true, He does not give you more than you can handle. You prove that. You guys are incredible!!

[Liz]

This is a great story. I love it. I do admire you are able to take your whole family out for dinner. I can't imagine how you do it. Sometimes it's hard enough to take 2 kids out, bravo.

[Tammy]

WELL DESERVED APPLAUSE, I might add!!

What a fantastic story. I was right there with you....every giggling and choking and vomiting detail...I LOVE IT!!

Perhaps one day, we'll all sit down together for a meal - and Bubba will most likely misbehave more seriously than your group combined. Just last week while eating in a restaurant, a young boy wearing a Spiderman shirt walked past B's chair..He instantly recognized the figure as the "good guy" and went into BAD GUY mode. He proceeded to attack the poor kid with a punch to the belly - complete with a loud "RAHHHHHHH".

I'm certain the poor child peed his pants.....

[Maureen Lyons]

Tess, what a great blog! I felt I was sitting in the next cubicle at Dan Ryan's watching the well-oiled machine of you and Chuck as you deftly manoeuvered your way through lunch with the four kidlets. I know I should not say this, but will anyway, "What fun!!"
Much love, M xox

[Lioness]

I love it, I love it, LOVE it that you took a bow! As well you should, woman! That sounds military in its precision and kudos to you two for orchestrating it.

[joy]

HAhaha! Great!!
taking these coconuts to a restaurant...both looking forward to it and dreading it.
i love that the guy was driving a porche!
joy

[Tertia]

LOL! what a wonderful post!

you (and MC) ROCK!

lots of love
xx

[joeinvegas]

Thanks, it is impressive. I'll take notes for when our Swedish friends are out with their crowd.

[instamom]

i can totally relate...except i never remember to ask for the bill until our kids have started throwing food on the floor and are crying and writhing against the highchair belt.

[liz]

Standing Ovation!!!!

I use many of these tactics with our singleton. I'm truly impressed that you dine out with 4 toddlers.

[Viscouse]

Great story! I love the precision & exactness. Management is key, and disaster avoidance a valuable skill.
Great post! I can only hope to reach your level of aptness when my 3 little ones come.