the best word to describe me today was "snappish".

not impressive. but what's a girl to do? upon taking the babies to their 18 month evaluations, besides the fear of what the dr would say and the frustration of jasper and carys refusing to do or say things i know they are capable of, three other events ticked me off.

1) the room was cold. windows open AND air con. frugal blake would be angry at the waste of having both these coolants in effect...his voice during summer holidays...you can either have air con or the windows open, but the windows open causes too much dust so we will have the air con....and of course those were the days before cars had rear air cons.... but i digress. it was really cold in the room. i was only wearing one jumper. you would think that my substantial body fat could keep me warm, but that was not the case.

2) the doctor had this spittle on his lip. and you guessed it, it travelled from his top lip to his bottom lip. sometimes it would comfortably attach to both lips and separate like an ameoba, stretching as far as his mouth was opening. it wasn't clear spittle, it was a circle of white, well formed gob. he was a nice doctor, but i can't tell you anything about him other than, well, the migratory practises of the gob. how irritating was that? very.

3) the receptionist didn't understand my sarcasm. by the time we had paid the bill ( you must pay before seeing the dr), i had used up the 20,000 tissues i had brought with me. and still the babies noses were running and bubbling. seeing the need for all three to have a good wipe, i approached the receptionist and asked, "do you have a tissue?" and she looked at me and responded, "you don't have any tissue?"

and before i could really help myself (not that i wanted to), i said, "well, yes i do but i am trying to save money, so i am using other people's."

she didn't get it.just said, huh?

i know i am not funny, but at least i should get acknowledged.

moving on...at the end of the appointments it was stated that the babies verbal patterns were slow to start but are not as delayed now as they were. hand motor is quite good for the girls. carys still needs PT, her achilles is quite tight in both feet. as for jasper, who was at his least flexible today, the dr made a suprising suggestion. his back was turned to me at the time so i could really concentrate on what he was saying:

this little boy needs to go to school. he needs to interact with other kids who don't love him, and who won't let him be the baby.

so he's going to recommend a school or two to magnificent and me.

do you really think that a half day day programme for jj two days a week will benefit him? would it work? do i want it to? do you think the dr takes the gob off his lip and places it in a glass of water at night as one would with false teeth?

Comments

[Monica]

Who says you're not funny?!?! I nearly fell out of my chair at the amoeba spittle thing. EEEEEWWW! Gross. I've seen that sort of thing...seems like they'd feel it or something. About the school business...I don't know what I'd do in your situation. I'm sure you'll make a wise decision, though. I'm always, always impressed by your wisdom. Oh, and sense of humor. Yes, sense of humor.

[Auntie Pammie]

flashbacks of mr. miller from grade 4... thanxs I needed a laugh ...
Auntie P xo

[lyns]

Ok..first that was the most hiliarious thing in the world...the sarcasm and tissue bit...I can picute it so well... about peed my pants....
second..i say give the school thing a try...I know I do this with Keighley especially, give extra attention b/c I love her and she's my baby and I don't want to see her struggle with anything!!! I don't even relize that I am doing it most of the time...maybe a few hours a week of him figuring it all out on his own under another adults supervision would help him... my only fear would be for the passing of infections.... school is a great place to pick up a cold!!!! you'll figure it out and do what is right for JJ...that I know for sure!!! xo lyns

[Kim]

Tess, I wanted to tell you about our experience with school. My trio were born 8-11-03 at 27 weeks. They have been going to school since Sept. They get on the big yellow school bus and are off into the big world all by themselves. Very scarry for Mommy! I would love to chat about the changes we have seen since they started school. Phenominal!! Please email me at trips81103@yahoo if you have any questions.

[joeinvegas]

At times it takes others to see what we are involved in. Same with our Swedes - we saw what they did with their group, but because they lived inside it was just the way things were.
Perhaps school might help. I like the way he phrased it - " he needs to interact with other kids who don't love him"

[SheilaC]

Wow, preschool for an 18 month old? It sounds so early!
Ours began preschool 2 mornings a week when they were 3 1/2, and they LOVED it, and so did I. They learned so much, and were stimulated so much in that 2 hours, way more than I would ever do with them at home. You know, changing activities every 20 minutes, making crafts every day and so on.
Maybe if they had started in that type of environment earlier, their speech would have matured more rapidly, and their social skills too. Now after 2 years of preschool, all three are flourishing in Kindergarten and loving it every day. We were very happy with our preschool experience.

I'd say that you don't have to follow the doctor's suggestion. (And if you are really surprised by it, you might seek a second opinion by another qualified pediatric developmental specialist - if available.) However the observation that J might be getting too much love and attention, and having his needs met too promptly, is an interesting one, and worth considering. You could make some changes at home to challenge him a little more, if you think the suggestion is accurate. That would probably challenge and stimulate the girls too.

And if preschool would be good for JJ, it might be good for the girls as well, for just 2 mornings a week. Would you be more comfortable doing the same for all three children? Would each of them benefit in some areas?

There's a great website on education issues for multiples at
twinsandmultiples.org It addresses many concerns about how multiples relate to each other and to the rest of the world, and gives perspectives on many school issues. The site's articles are based on proper research, not just anecdotes. And it doesn't offer advice for what decisions to make, but it gives many thought-provoking questions to consider, to guide you to a decision that's best for each individual child.
It takes time to go through the many articles under "Preschool" and perhaps under "Special Needs" but I think you'll find it valuable.

I know you and Charles will research and ponder and pray, and will make the best decision for J and for all your family, as you do with other situations.

Best wishes,
SheilaC