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March 17, 2006


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mostly we just ignore it. if i remind myself that someone owes me money and isn't paying it back then it becomes a sore spot in our relationship. it just isn't worth it. i may tease about the odd coffee or ten spot owed, but i don't even bring up real money. and when we were really broke, it hurt not to be paid back. hurt as in "will we buy food or pay the utility bill this week" hurt, but it always hurts more to let money come between friends.

i hope you had a great birthday and a very romantic birthday date!


Dear Tess: Happy Birthday! I'm in early labour but hoping very much that my daughter can share her birthday with you. I hope you have a lovely day.


Just grin and say to yourself 'I will not loan money to friends' over and over. No matter what you say it does not end up well. But perhaps they forgot?


Happy happy birthday darling Tess. Hope you have a fabulous day and the family spoils you rotten.

Big kiss and hug



Doesn't it say somewhere ..."do not a borrower or a lender be..." ?? like, perhaps, the Bible!? it doesn't mean don't borrow or lend, but if you do, consider it belonging to that other person.
I have come across this dilemma too, I'm sure most of us have and I tend to just ignore it. All too often this can come between people. This is a really touchy and deep subject. Especially in todays' society. Where we can be defined by our "stuff"
I actually just consider that it wasn't mine in the first place and if it comes back around, it wasn't theirs either. In Fiji, it's more of a 'koro' or village environment and everyones' stuff belongs to everyone else in the koro. This works well if society didn't evolve but now with the european influence it's become a real problem...(a whole 'nother topic!)
well I digress, Happy birthday Tess. If Tess L is 36 then I must be....How old did Pam say she was ? 35? me too.....;)

heather in WA State

Welcome to 36. I've been here a few months more than you and it's not too bad.

As for the money question, I never "lend" money, I gift it. As soon as it leaves my hand, I drop all expectations of it being returned. If a friend does return it, or gives us a night of babysitting, or some other reciprocation, that's fantastic. Otherwise, it's gone. Needless to say, I don't offer money up except in extreme cases.

I prefer to give gifts of time or labor or food -- useful things that will save the recipient from spending their own money on those things.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Wish we could be there to celebrate with you...or at least have the youth group make fun cards for you!!! I wonder who they would say you look like...he he he... Hope you had a fantastic day!! xo lyns


Happy Birthday!


I agree with heather in WA state. Rule 1: Never loan money you can't afford to never see again. Rule 2: Gift it. If it gets returned, great, otherwise, eh.

I have loaned money to both friends and relatives. Some of it has been repaid; some has not. I figure if I have it and can afford it and a friend/relative doesn't have it/needs it then I will pass it along.

Money comes and goes, but friends and family are precious.


My sister just asked if she could borrow money from me the other day, and i replied "just put it on your tab". of course, then she asked, "Do i owe you money already?" and i said, "yup, $120". Usually, I try to throw it into conversation somewhere. Really, it is the person who forgets (or who just doesn't do it) that should feel uncomfortable...not you.
happy birthday, birthday girl!

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