my dad

wee early hours of the morning, 17 march, 1970:

small squalling bundle girl is delivered. exhausted mother smiles as her husband picks up his second child, another daughter, and takes her over to the window, where the sun is just rising. he begins singing, a song he hasn't sung often before and a song he hasn't sung much since.

Kathleen, mavourneen, awake from thy slumbers,
The blue mountains glow in the sun's golden light.
Ah! Where is the spell that once hung on thy numbers,
Arise in thy beauty, thou star of my night!

It may be for years, and it may be forever,
Then why art thou silent, thou voice of my heart?
It may be for years and it may be forever,
Then why art thou silent, Kathleen, mavourneen?

the child stops crying, but everyone else in the delivery room starts sobbing. it could be a movie, but instead, it was my entrance into the world, and the first time i had a conversation with my dad, who named me teresa mavourneen, mavourneen meaning, my darling. my dad, best known in the blogging world as frugal blake.

frugal blake was recently diagnosed with sciataca (Sp?) and i am convinced this was caused during my teen years, when frugal blake formed himself into the letter "C" when hugging pam and i, and graeme too for that matter. lord forbid he he saw a bra strap, and i think he convinced himelf that sanitary napkins were the cat's pillows (frugal he always was but he NEVER stinted when it came to the animals. they always got first class treatment). he was so respectful of us, and never even cracked a smile the day i asked him, in all seriousness mind, what belly button lint was.

he is also respectful of our bad choices. i could name one VERY bad choice i made as a 16 year old, but too many of you might do an internet search on that person and say, "he's a pastor! and 10 years older than you!!!" and my dad would say, "Right on both counts...but she was in love and after giving her a warning, i had to let her make her mistakes, and be there to help pick up the pieces."

picking up the pieces doesn't require a lot of talk.

which is good, because frugal blake isn't much one for talk. including gossip. if you tell him something unsavoury his mouth quirks downward, and his eyebrows raise, and he says something incriminating like, "is that so" in a bland manner that makes you feel uncomfy for bringing it up. it has really been my dad that has helped me curb my tongue over the years. that and the ever present question, "would i say that about this person if they were standing right beside me?" which of course was "a good rule of thumb" i got from, you guessed it, dad.

frugal and i spent a lot of time together this summer because we happen to enjoy jigaw puzzles. i haven't managed to get him doing sudoku, but the time is coming. i did get him watching arrested development, so i know i do get listened to.

i;m not associating a lot of frugality with this man, am i? goodness KNOWS frugal blake is parsamonius. reread a july entry if you want examples of frugality. basically, he is frugal because he worked so hard for all he has, and doesn't want to fritter it away. money he has isn't inherited, he has made, so he knows its value.

frugal blake once worked as a door to door salesman, selling encyclopedias. he'd come home from the office, eat some tinned soup, and head out to sell encyclopedias. for the last 40 years, frugal blake has been working for his family. sure he enjoys the benefits, but it is mainly for us. how do i know? because i listen too.

on the topic of canada's immigration system: can you blame everyone for wanting to come to canada? for wanting to give their kids a better life than they have? it's what i would do if i were them.

and then he takes it one step further, and when he sees hardworking people like lita and de, who live in hong kong and have their sister raising their two year old daughter, frugal blake offers to sponsor them to move to canada so they can be together. "they deserve a chance. they're hard workers, they want a better life for their daughter. all they need is a chance."

on perv's : if anyone ever interferes with your kids, you can't do anything. the kids need you. leave it to me. i'll take care of it. what are they going to do to an old man anyway? throw him in jail? fine.

he's not the godfather, he's the granddad. don't kid yourself...they do need you.

frugal blake was always the one we kids went to when we wanted to adopt an animal. he is total soft touch around animals. and it was never frugal blake who took them to the vet on those sad days when they needed to be put down.

when pam, graeme and i were eight, four and six, we spent a good portion of our allowance on slurpees. dad was horrified, and decried slurpees as nothing but sugar and water.... and then one day i clued in, faked a stomach ache and let him have a nice sample of our slurpee. next thing you know, frugal blake was accompanying us on the slurpee runs, and quite the expert, making comments how mac's slushes were nowhere near as sublime as slurpees.

fast forward almost 30 years, and i had a new habit, wendy's frostees. again, frugal blake had nothing good to say about them, until the day pam was driving us through vernon and i made her go through the drive through. i ordered three frostees and plunked one down on dad's lap. after 30 seconds of complaints "i don't LIKE soft ice cream" he tucked in, "hey kiddo, this is good stuff" and soon was declaring how frostees reminded him of malteds he used to eat in drugstores years ago. but even though he didnt say it, i know he liked the fact that frostees are only .99.

i love you dad.

you don't need to leave a comment.... i know. you've shown it all my life. xo mauvorneen

Comments

[tertia]

Frugal Blake, or as I like to think of him, Handsome Blake reminds me of Rhett Butler in Gone with the Wind. I don't know why, but he does. I like to imagine that he looks like that, with that same charming, yet slightly naughty manner.

You are a very lucky girl to have such a divine father. Dads are the best. What would we do without them.

[Auntie Pammie]

Once again I read your blog before leaving for work/school. Beautiful blog Tess,,, we are lucky to have the frugal one in our lives :-)
your fellow slurpee/frostee lover
and big sister.....
P
and yes 7-11 slurpees are superior

[maggs]

You know, I *was* going to comment about what a beautiful post this was. I was right with you on the slurpees (always had one to start my 5 hr drive back to college) but *THEN* you just *had* to bring up Frostees. They closed every single Wendy's in St. Louis! I can't get one anymore! And I love them! I thought I was dealing with this ok until this post! I am distressed!

: )

[knobody]

french fries dipped in frosty. there's nothing better! (except for the time i tried that recently, and the fries tasted weird. can't explain it, but there was a sort of bitterness that just didn't go with a frosty. maybe i needed more salt.)

dads are an interesting breed. it sounds like you got a great deal in the dad department. i can see why you wouldn't trade him for the world.

[Louise M]

Wendy's Frosty reminds me of being a kid in Sakatoon and getting a hot dog and malt at the Bay with my brothers and Mum after trudging through Bay Day with her.... Let go of the stroller and you didn't get your treat...

Dads are great. Amazing how we really don't appreciate them until we become adults.

[Leggy]

This is a lovely post. Your dad sounds like a wonderful person- which of course he would have to be to have raised such a great daughter.

[Auntie Pammie]

T,
I didnt properly comment this morning. Your story on Dad made me cry and it brought back memories that I had blocked out.

It hurts me when people mock Dad for being overly frugal( I am not saying you), he is who he is , because of where he has been. I respect that as I have been places that were not especially happy and I had to be very "frugal" then to survive and get stronger.

We have learned so many lessons from this man, and even though he and I were not in agreement for so many years, he was always looking out for me. He always loved me (us) NO MATTER WHAT!! I regret the years I disrespected him and Mom.

In my closure, I guess I am trying to say that I love my parents , I love my family( siblings, children, nieces and nephews , and I regret the years that I did not show them how I really feel.

Thank-you for writing this tribute to Dad..

[Boulder]

A girl loves her dad, doesn't she? I think it is lovely that you tell the world how much you do.

(PS - should I tell you that there are now vanilla frosties? And they aren't bad? Never equal to chocolate, but different in a good way.)

[Lori in YK]

WOW, I am sure your dad's heart was smiling while reading your wonderful tribute Tess!! Maybe even craving a frostee!!

My hubby and I are going through the perils of raising a 15 year old daughter at this moment and it breaks my heart because her and her dad are always butting heads. I am beginning to wonder if she will ever see that he just wants the best for her and to help her make better choices than he did. Your tribute gives me hope...to remember that even if it does not look like it, she is probably listening to every word...and someday...maybe someday...she will understand and appreciate his efforts as you do your dad's.