"nap", uh, crap.

i am a fraud.

i read a blog i had written a while ago and for some reason i made it sound like i had life under control. or at least my kids.

that is so not the case.

i don't.

i realised this quite forcefully after two days of non napping yes freakazoiding kid activity all over the place. what is with my kids?

do you think that in the back of my mind i am remembering that sebastian was a fairly tolerable two year old but a testy three year old? the thought is driving me BONKERS. can it get much worse? will i ever be able to get the desired result from my children without dragging blood or teeth from them first? why does their room look like a crime scene after "nap"?

today, during "nap", the kids removed their gro-bags, either together (please frugal blake, don't tell me that i should be impressed that they are working together, like good union employees do) or separately, and pushed sela's bed away from the window. then somehow they pushed over the heater. and then they removed the wooden slats from above jasper's bed.

i am appalled. they have no respect.

i can go barging in there, and the only result is, they begin squealing, "noooooooo!" which comes out sounding, "neeeeeeeeeewwww" which is pathetic. like i am the person at fault. if i didn't want to know what was going on i should not have entered the inner sanctum. i am appalled by them.

if i EVER made it sound like i was a good parent, i apologise. i am not. magnificent is a good parent, which is why today i picked up the phone and called charles (he is in tokyo in case you are keeping track) and told him (while the kids were listening) how they had destroyed their room. they started crying but only because i would't let them hold the phone and sing happy birthday to daddy.

i am a bad parent, worse, an ineffective one.

dislike them, despise myself.

next thing you know i am going to be saying, "if you don't stop crying, i am going to throw you out the window!"

Comments

[Boulder]

False!

You are a great parent - so great that you are able to admit to yourself & others when things aren't good. For goodness sake, you are parenting 4 children, 3 of them who are the same age. I don't know many who can tackle that with as much grace as you show.

You'll persevere, hang tight, forge ahead, and any other words that will remind you to have faith that this too shall pass, and you will find equilibrium.

xoxo

[Kim]

Tess

3year old triplets are by far worse than any moment you had as a sleep deprived mother of newborn triplets. I too feel like a bad Mommy at the end of the day. Some days I think I yell more than I talk. They are going to grow up thinking that is my normal tone of voice! Hang tought Tess! I hear 4 is a delightful age! Do you think we can survive that long?!?

[Tara]

Tess,
Tallinn being the same age as your 3 makes me wonder how you do it sometimes. Reading your post actually makes me think that I'm not alone (and I only have 1 (three yr old) not 3). Today when Tallinn when to school with the trips Lita said did Tallinn have a sleep and I said yes and she said that your crew didn't and that they turned their room upside down. I stuck my head in the car and said who didn't have a nap today and they just looked at me and smiled! Little poo's, I didn't think they got up to so much mischief. Don't be so hard on yourself.xxx

[Lee]

Good heavens girl - if you can get three 3 year olds to sleep in the same room EVER you are a genius.
And a brilliant mother.

the 3's...it's a long year.

Lee

[SheilaC]

At our house the "terrible twos" took place from about 2 1/2 to about 3 1/2. And the kids gave up napping gradually over about a 3 month time span as they approached their 3rd birthday.

That nap transition was quite difficult, because at first it was one who would not sleep, then two, until I finally accepted that they were just not tired, and that I could not compell them to sleep. Their boredom led to misbehaving and silliness, and a lot of frustration for me!

The solution we tried was to go to separate rooms for "quiet time" at that nap time of day. The kids had blankets and pillows to snuggle down, and books to read and soft toys to play with. They were told to stay in their quiet place for a fixed period of "quiet time". This allowed the sleepy ones to nap if they wanted to, and some days they did. The awake ones could still have some peace and quiet and alone time. I went from room to room to read stories and check on them.

After several months of that, when none of them were napping any more, we started to watch children's TV or a video during that hour of the afternoon. They enjoyed that, and still got some sitting-still, quiet time. (And I got a chance to make a phonecall or check the email.)

I hope you will find a solution that meets the needs of each child, and can be adapted as their napping needs change in future. You are a wise parent, and I am sure you will work it out.

[Mary Deibis]

I, too, have 2 1/2 year old triplets who leave me completely exhausted at the end of each day. I am trying to figure out why life is so much more difficult now than it was when they were infants. Most days I feel like I yell more than I talk too. I can totally relate to your situation, and I laughed at your post because I find myself in that position almost every day. Just please know that you are not alone. I haven't figured out a solution yet, but if I do, I'll share!! Take care!

[Lori in YK]

Tess;

I think this is where you have to call upon the good will of neighbors and friends!! Us mothers tend to put the weight of the world on our own shoulders but forget that it really does take a village to raise a child let alone your tribe!! HAHA!

Never underestimate the power of a good cry either...I only raised one at a time and I found it helped when I felt a little on the hopeless side.

For good measure...when Mag Charles gets back you should make sure to go and do something for yourself. You ARE doing a great job and deserve a little "ME" time to recharge your batteries.

Take care of yourself...when you can't possibly take it any more....LAUGH your ass off at the irony of loving and living with children!!!!

[maggs]

Nah, you do have it together. You have four, I have one, and you’re way more together than I am. If it makes you feel any better, Miss A threw a horrible fit last night, just as obnoxious as she could be. Three’s are much more difficult than two’s.