does it look like i like your kids?

in the six months when we planned, cancelled, planned, cancelled, planned and finally paid for this holiday, magnificent and i were resigned to the fact that while we were here, we would be on parent alert. this was not a couples lovey dovey holiday, at least not between 7am-pm. this was suburbia goes to the beach. forget the beach novels, the beach bag is filled with kids toys, cups, and kids needs. there is no reading when you have kids at the pool. besides upsetting our kids, who want us in the pool with them, it would also be kind of rude to our fellow holiday-ers. how fun is it to listen to kids trying to get their parents attention when their parents are locked in vanity fair (even a boring, sans dominick dunne episode) or a men's health? it is irritating because the kids will just increase the volume tone until the parents finally, exasperated look up and say, WHAT? so no, we wouldn't do that, to our kids, ourselves or the people around us.

with no false expectations, every day magnificent and i take the kids to breakfast, stopping en route to claim el primo kids poolside beach chairs. not many of our fellow le meridien holidayers are awake at 7am, so we have the best seats to choose from. to be fair, there is no shortage of pool in this resort:

www.lemeridien.com/phuketbeachresort

and then we're off to breakfast.

afterwards, we might explore the beach for a bit, but it is always handy to be near a bathroom, as all four are very regular morning time people these days. we found an eel the other morning, it was dead which was a good lesson for sebastian on how eels can't breathe oxygen, but people do, and i took some great pictures of it's little teeth. there is a place to rock climb, but young seb is too, well, young.

so we head back to the pool which is the only place the kids want to be anyway. we have staked out this circular pool which opens into one of the wider pools as our place. jasper loves "swimming" around the sitting area of the circle, the girls are getting braver and practise their "swimming walk" to and fro across the circular pool. seb is happy practising his front crawl and i have bitten a hole through my bottom lip as i have managed not to lecture him on how he could be so much more effective if he only straightened his legs when he kicked.yay me.

all the kids, except jasper, being swung in the water. this is a great way to get their faces a little wet. we either play tick tock tick tock im a little cuckoo clock, and then dunk them under, or my bonnie lies over the ocean, and lift them in and under the water. (exhausting).

now when we do this, a respectful or hyper little circle of other kids tends to gather around us demanding that we give them a go. same with when i am launching seb off my knees or charles and i are throwing him in the water. kids love this stuff. they did three decades ago when i was the launchee, and they do now when i am the launcher. i will vault the kid in the water a few times, but it's tough throwing 40lbs of kid into the water (when you're already in the water), and i start looking around for the kids parents.

the kids are around 3-6 years of age. the younger ones have arm bands and are paddling around, the older ones swimming. but where are the parents?

i can't tell. magnificent, mo, myself and the aquafit instructor are the only people in the pool right now. where is everyone else? everyone else is reading. occasionally looking up, but not really.

i am not kidding myself, if i for one moment thought that my kids were self sufficient in the water i would be heading back to the beach chair and opening a book. but when the sole parents in the water suddenly become the kids club, am i a bad person because i begrudge looking after all the other kids? i'm here to spend time with MINE. to watch them blow bubbles, to encourage them to put their faces under water and do the arrow float. to take THEM to the bathroom.

we have 2 days left here....how should i handle this??

thanks in advance.

Comments

[knobody]

all kids wander off in search of someone new and exciting, but it is irritating when parents don't come looking for their little scamp. can you ask them where their mummy is and suggest they go ask mummy to throw them in the pool? kids won't take any offense at this, and you may get lucky and have one actually do it.

other than having your usual magnetism affect the phuket kid set, it sounds like a fun time. no, not a real vacation (it's impossible to have a real vacation with kids) but a nice break anyway. and i hope you manage to fit in at least a few pages of that vanity fair.

[Jody]

Ack, I hate disappointing kids, I would maybe offer to do it once for the littlest kids and then explain that you are too busy with your own crowd to comply further.

Or just start with "I'm sorry, this is special family time for us." But -- ick. Those other parents are really incredibly rude and mean.

[Alison]

Maybe a "I bet your mommy would love to play with you as well!" said very enthusiastically would get them to go to their parents for entertainment?

[SheilaC]

Yeah, ditto. The strangers can get one or two swings, then tell them you're getting tired, and they should go ask their own parents or sitters to play with them. It's hard to do, but it's better to set some boundary rules, for your own sake and for theirs.

Well done on teaching the kids to get their faces wet. I have one daughter age 7 who still is not comfortable getting her face and ears wet, and she's making no progress in swim lessons, repeating level 1 for about the 8th time. I wish we'd done more of that when they were 3 or 4 years old.

It sounds like you're having a terrific vacation. Take a million pictures! Best wishes,

[lynn m jacobs]

hey doll! i agree, i would be disgruntled too. maybe a gentle suggestion to the other kiddies to ask their own parents to come into the pool? if it gets bad enough, you are within your rights to locate said parents and say, ' i notice johnny loves to be thrown into the water, you might have a future olympic swimmer on your hands!' this should serve as a nice way of prodding them into opening their eyes a bit. whatever you decide, you're right that this is about you, mag and your kids. i guess you're such a great mom you attract other peoples kids too! ( and your own kids will remember this and lovetyou more for it when they're older, it will make them proud of you that other kids love you too).. xxoo lynn

[Leggy]

I agree re: telling them (nicely) to go find their own mums & dads for a toss in the pool. Not only is that inconsiderate, but who leaves their kid unattended by a POOL? That's just irresponsible.

[kathrynmclachlin]

I agree with lynn that your kids will love having the fun parents. I also think that I have been at the pool with these MIA parents.

[Brenda]

The MIA parents are *everywhere.*

I'd tell the kids to find their own parents in a sickly-sweet voice.

Been there, done that, don't be the free babysitter!