"i just want to play"

sebastian begins primary one in a few months.

next week we head over to his primary school to meet his teacher and find out a few more pertinent details. but i admit to being concerned.

sebastian, my lovely, sweet, compassionate boy, wants to quit swimming and soccer, because it is too hard.

he stopped learning to ride a bike without stablisers because it was too hard.

he doesn't want to read anymore because it is too hard.

yesterday at swimming when i was talking to him about how at primary one he was going to be learning more, he turned to me and said, "but mummy, i just want to play".

at five years old, do i have to tell my child that that dream is unreasonable? that his playing days are over? i am having tough times with this concept, to be honest with you. i know there is a balance, but i had to end yesterday's conversation because i didn't want to frighten him. it just seemed too sad to say it. at five.

but still, the learning curve is going to be pretty steep, and the school's don't have time for the kids who aren't really picking up the concepts, especially those who aren't interested in picking up the concepts.

sebastian.

Comments

[kathleen999]

I don't think I have ever heard of a 5-year-old stopping trying anything he really wanted to do because it was too hard. I am wondering if Sebastian has developed coping mechanisms to lower his own stress at an early age. I mean, how many 5-year-olds are big brother to three younger ones? He may have learned how to make his own life easier.

Just a theory. The thing is, does he find learning fun? Has it been fun, and like a game, so far? Maybe he needs a teacher who makes learning fun and exciting.

Just some ideas. My husband is a natural teacher, and he has our guys knowing the alphabet and counting to 14 at almost 2 1/2 because he makes everything fun. They love learning not only because Daddy is teaching them but because it's a fun game.

I'm sure this will resolve itself once he gets into the class.

[knobody]

i think all five year olds just want to play, and they view first grade as this looming monster waiting to gobble up all their fun. fortunately, most teachers know this and are used to it. we are having trouble finding something to motivate sagan as well, but somehow he manages to learn stuff anyway, and seb will too. and there will still be plenty of time to play.

[Leggy]

Seb and The Cutie Pie sound like soulmates. I have had similar issues with my son, although he frames it as "I'm stupid" or "I'm no good at x, y, z..." which just breaks my heart. He also has similar anxieties about first grade, which are exacerbated by moving (so not going to the school he thought he would) and the arrival of siblings. Hopefully they'll both get through it relatively unscathed.

[rani]

Hi Tess,

Hope you got my email about Thurs. Quite a few boys coming to play/lunch after Kennedy. Hope Seb can make it.

Rani