Dim Sum Mum - Tess' Little Pieces

rent a mum

i just love it when people discipline my kids for me.

usually it is lita and de who end up doing it. sometimes, on the playground, a mum will step in if she sees my kids being particularly horrendous and hideous.

but today, was brilliant.

my girlfriend sandi, fresh back from a motoring trip down through capri and other italian locales came over to tell me about her trip. for all you who were planning an italian viaggio, here are her tips:

"20 years ago you couldn't go to italy in july and august.  10 years ago that extended to june. why? because of the tourists! what did you think i meant, the weather? no! well, now, it is may through september...every five feet, i kid you not, there were a couple of meatballs standing there with a map. and at locations, you couldn't see the sky what with all the weenies with silly caps holding flags and their zombie bus people following them."

sandi is a very discerning traveller.

after telling me a bit more about the trip, we concentrated on the kids, who were desperate to show off for "sand-i". songs were sung, toys were pulled out, hopping on one leg was demonstrated. sandi said that sela with her exuberance, was turning into a little doris day and asked if she could waterski without getting her hair wet.

probably?

on the sly, sandi, who has known sebastian since he had three hairs on his head and was 20 hours old, (she was his first hospital visitor), slipped sebastian some marbles to play with. sebastian was thrilled. "don't play with them around the other kids" said sandi. "they're not grown up like you."

sebastian was told to put the marbles back in the bag, a command which he ignored.

eventually, he showed the marbles to jasper, who was very excited and screamed, "thebbie put ithe cubeth on the floor! naughty thebbie!"

put the marbles in the bag and away, dictated parental tess, to no avail. the triplets went to bed.

sebastian then said that he would store the marbles under the table. i was lying on the sofa wondering the best way to handle this, when sandi said, "are they in the bag? no? how old are you sebastian?"

"five," my little man answered, promptly.

"when will you be six?"

"at my next birthday."

sandi laughed, "well when is that?"

"november."

"all right sebastian. i am taking these marbles back and i will bring them to you when you are six. you didn't act responsibly."

sebastian apologised, and predictaibly, as per page 1 of "sorry i got caught not sorry that i committed the crime," promised that from now on he would listen and obey and be responsible. but sandi stood firm.

and i lay back in the sofa.

stepping by the snakes of tiredness

snippet of conversation with father:

"you must be very busy"

"actually i am, dad. how did you know?"

"you haven't blogged in ages. i think you should blog. soon"

so here i am.

i was a lazy parent in some respects last week. (will parent ever cease to sound wayyyy more grown up than i see myself?)

on friday sebastian's class put on a snake presentation. sebastian stood up and recited his line (quite dramatically i might add with a touch of pride) : "snakes stay quiet and still in order to catch their food." and then there was a bit of a party. parents were meant to contribute something snake shaped to the food table. and there was a gloriously decorated cake, a snake shaped sausage roll, and oh yes, the jelly snakes that tess bought the night before.

three days earlier i had been in sebastian's class sewing snakes. every child had cut out a real life sized snake and they asked some mums to come in and help the children sew the snakes and help stuff them with batting. that was a long day, but a fun one. sebastian made a cobra. we sewed elastic around the mouth so he can tie it around his waist. it is five feet long. i will throw it away this summer.

i was in jasper's class making gingergbread men with his class yesterday. i premade the cookie dough and brought in three gingerbread cookie cutters. jasper was in fathoms of delight and kept saying, "mummy, you come to my clathroom today?". when we got to school, i needed to take the girls upstairs to their classroom before heading off to little jude's. i asked him to go with his teacher to his classroom, and reassured him i would be there soon.

well.

his little face turned red, his mouth turned down and his eyes began to shimmer as tears filled them. and of course there were other people watching all making "awwww" sounds.

"but!" (hiccup)"mummy! you promithed" (sob)"you make cookieth with my clath today."

i promised him i would be back, took the girls up, stopped by sebastian's classroom to give him a smooch, and then made and decorated cookies with 20, three year olds. jasper was surprisingly thrilled to have me there, his little chest puffed out when the kids called me "jj's mummy" as in , "thank you jj's mummy!".

but possibly the highlight was watching someone say to jasper, "i like your mummy" and him saying, "yes, my mummy."

so that's why i buy jelly snakes for parties, so i have the energy to get in there, roll up my sleeves and make cookies with kids. and still have a life. my life.