lita and de are leaving our family.
this is extremely sad news.
i found this out in may, right before the walk to emmaus. it is typical of satan to throw bad news at you right before any type of spiritual retreat, and as i was a team member, to decrease my effectiveness.
the minute lita told me she and de would be leaving, i burst into tears. i am not a cryer. we have established that. but i cried and cried and cried. my kids! no one could love them as much as lita does. what about sela, who loves lita probably more than she loves me? selfishly, i cried for the loss of my life. no one would be able to step in and run the house like lita and de do. no one. my freedom.
i immediately called two girlfriends, and got online, where friends who are in similar situations were full of love and sympathy. poor kids, poor you. yes.
it is so sad.
the one good piece of news in all of this is lita is not leaving because we have done anything wrong, she is leaving because of HER and her family. lita is moving to canada to become a nanny. in two years time, she will be able to apply for permanent residency and bring her family over.
of course, this means she will not be able to see de and her daughter for three years. three years.
i don't know how she will do it.
but she will, because she is looking at the bigger picture.
she is moving to calgary, to work for a family expecting twins.
agencies in canada don't charge the families very much for the matching service, but lita is paying for her own ticket, her own medicals (you know how much bloodtests are), all the visa and immigration stuff, and of course there are things like coats and boots and cold weather stuff she is going to need once she gets to cold calgary.
i admire her so much. as much as i love when charles nips away and i get the whole house to myself for three or four days and can eat as many black olives as i want and crack my toes in bed without having to admit how disgusting i am, three years without charles? and three years without my kids? i can't say i couldn't do it, because i could. i would.
unlike china, in the philippines these days, parents are thrilled if they have a daughter. daughters = wage earners. sons, not so much. (de is one of the exceptions to the rule.)
so lita is leaving us. we have told the kids, but the don't really comprehend it. lita and de are all they know, they are our family.
we have another couple coming in to work for us, and i have to trust God that it will work out. and that if it doesn't, i will have the courage to say, "this isn't working out".
lita starts her new job 1 october. i am making her take holidays in september so she can go back to the philippines and spend some time with baby melissa (who will be turning three) and de, who will not come back at the end of that time.
so that is why i am sad. for her sacrifice, for my kids loss, for my loss.
it is just so sad, and she is just so noble. i look at her and watch her and i tear up.
Lita is so brave!! 3 years is such along time in a child's life at that age! I would worry would my child resent me leaving her for so long.
Lita can see the big picture optimistically and I am so impressed! Good luck to her!
And I am sorry for you as well, it is hard losing someone you really rely on. Devastating actually.
Posted by: Coral | July 12, 2007 at 02:14 PM
OH, happy : sad : ?? such a range change. Sorry, to lose a familiy member like that. But I guess you talked so much about Canada that she had to go.
Posted by: joeinvegas | July 13, 2007 at 12:21 AM
How sad for you and your family. Just a note for Lita, hopefully she will be a live-in nanny because the housing situation here in Calgary is very expensive and hard to find.
Posted by: Kathy | July 13, 2007 at 02:13 AM
Oh Tess, I feel so sad for you. And sad that I will not get to see Lita in November. Please wish her all the best from me. I think her level of self sacrifice is amazing. I do truely hope this means she can be with Melissa and De forever, after Canada.
Love Lucy
Posted by: Lucy Moran | July 14, 2007 at 04:35 PM
That is so sad, Tess. I'll be praying the new couple works out well- and the best for Lita and De.
Posted by: katrina | July 14, 2007 at 10:36 PM
I've met alot of nurses that have come from the Philippines who are doing the same thing here in the states.
I think it takes a great deal of will and self sacrifice to leave your own child and watch someone elses. I'm always amazed.
I'm wishing all of you all the best.
Posted by: cristy | July 15, 2007 at 09:05 AM
If there's anything that anyone here in Alberta can do to help Lita with the transition to life in Canada, please let us know.
Posted by: elaine | July 15, 2007 at 11:31 AM
It is an incredible sacrifice that Lita is making...that she has made, for her family. I was talking to a co-worker in the gym the other day and he was telling me about his nanny, who will return to the Ukraine this winter, after 2 years away from her family. She has done it for the money - she earns more in a week here in the US than she AND her husband would earn in a month in the Ukraine. She has been able to send all the money back and they are building a house with it. Amazing. I can not imagine having to make that sort of sacrifice for my family. I'm not sure I could do it.
I hope that the new couple works out for you.
{{{{{hugs}}}} for your loss as well.
Posted by: CariP | July 30, 2007 at 09:57 PM