the kissy girls

friends with older children warned me about the learning curves children face when they start primary school. i was ready for the educational learning curve, it was one of the reasons we held sebastian back. and i had seen the educational learning curve when he started kindy and started spouting songs and terms i hadn't heard before.

as for the social learning curve, i thought i was quite prepared for that...i knew there would be friends, (pretend or otherwise), and stuff, and expressions "easy peasy lemon squeezy" was a fave from last year and "yes sir, bra sir" somehow made it into his venacular not to mention the always popular "ooooh, that's a toughie!" said in an annoying voice.

and he's talked marriage since annie announced it was going to happen, so the girl thing has always been pretty cool.

so what's with this new game and species...THE KISSY GIRLS?

it's not easy to find out. eavesdropping in the car on the way home as he and adam discuss the strategies of the kissy girls has been my only way of learning about them. they don't tell me much, except occasionally when i ask a question (example further below) that is so dense they have to answer it to relieve me of my stupidity.

WHAT I KNOW: each grade level (primary one and two that i know of) has girls in each class known as kissy girls. to be a kissy girl, the girl must be willing to rush around during playtime, chase the boys and, oh yes, (oooh, awful say the boys) kiss the boys.

(i'm not certain whether every boy wants to play with the kissy girls or whether every boy can. give me time.)

if during playtime, a kissy girl catches a poor, defenseless male, then she kisses him and that means he is her prisoner and has to go to the girls' fort. and ONLY the leader of the boys team can rescue you. oh, what a terrible thing it is to be caught by those evil, awful kissy girls.

"so why did you play?" i interrupt, unable to keep silent.

"because, tess"

each day sebastian and adam discuss the day's rescue strategies and if they have been caught by a kissy girl and if so...DID SHE KISS YOU? and sebastian tries to remember the names of the kissy girls in his class. (adam asks him, i don't need to, i can tell you who they are just by looking at them).

yesterday both boys were caught by kissy girls. apparently they are in different groups since both have different captains. (sebastian appointed himself captain of his team which i think just has one other fellow in it).

"oh it's just awful the kissy girls."

"yes, it was terrible, they caught me!"

"did you get kissed?"

"no, did you?"

"no, did you?"

"no."

"i hate the kissy girls. i would hate it if they kissed me."

"so would i."

and again, because i am physically unable to eavesdrop successfully, i say, "sebastian, adam, i have a question. you always say you are very fast runners."

"i am very fast, tess, i am faster than a superhero."

"i am too."

"but a kissy girl could catch you? they must be really fast."

"sometimes."

and then i change the topic to star wars or football or swimming and the kissy girls are done for another day.

KISSY GIRLS !!!

HOT OFF THE PRESS: sebastian was kissed today by a kissy girl who is a year ahead of him that is all i know. adam is ill, so i didn't get to earwig on the details. sebastian mentioned the kissy girl event to me he was so disgusted/secretly thrilled, but that's all i know. i don't even think he knows her name. even if he did, i doubt he would tell me.

Comments

[Boulder]

The BEST kissy girls usually go for the younger boys - the better to bend them to the girls' wills.

All I'm saying...

[knobody]

i would trade kissy girls for puking boys right about now.

[Jody]

It's the "huggies" in our school, and in Wilder's class at least, the teachers put a stop to it at the beginning of this (the third) week. I think too many children were taking bad falls, trying to get away (or make the chase more interesting, depending on how you think the participants really feel about this game).

[Tammy]

Beware of the cooties...

[elaine]

Kids must be born knowing this game! I think some version of it is played on practically every elementary school ground & it isn't a new development by any means. I think we called it "Girls Kiss the Boys" when I was in school back when dinosaurs still roamed the earth.

[SouthernBell]

My husband would die if his daughter was a Kissy girl --Kissy, kissy, kissy would mean kill, kill, kill.

[louise]

Hi,

Delurking to say that that game must be played everywhere! I remember playing "Catch and Kiss" when I was a child here in New Zealand, oh 26-27 years ago.

The trick was to run like heck if you didn't want to be caught by someone you didn't like and sort of pootle around laughing flirtily until you were caught by someone you did.

Though I remember being caught a lot (especially by a gorgeous boy called Caleb), I don't seem to remember the kissing bit, so must have been a bit tame.

If Seb and Adam say they hate it, they are secretly *loving* it, as every child I knew did.

Lou.

[Heather]

My 8 and 6 year old daughters would definitely be considered kissy girls. Not because they are playing a game, but because they are such enthusiastic friends. At first I was a bit taken aback by all the kissing and hugging between kids at school (We NEVER did that when I was a kid 30 years ago). Equally stunning was that the boys were as into the hugs and kisses as the girls. I think this has come about because parents are more affectionate with their children these days. There is a lot more attention paid to our children's feelings, we are encouraged to sit and read with our kids daily, and babies are carried and held more instead of left in playpens all day. Fathers are more likely to hug their child when he is scared, then to tell him to suck it up. Public affection is no longer so taboo.

In contrast, many schools now have a "no touching policy" for the staff to ward off possible abuse. A child cries from falling down, limps over to his teacher, but the teacher must not comfort him with a hug, only words. Even a pat on the back or a tousle of the hair could be suspect. This is very sad.

[Penny]

The world needs more hugs.