here's what i know

among other things, here is what i know:

1) sebastian is a very creative person

2) sebastian has a personality very much like his father's

3) sebastian is well liked among his peers

4) sebastian is joky amongst his classmates who joke back

i know these four things. i just listed them, didn't i?  and i also know that friendships also start and end, rarely lasting a full term not to mention a year, during these first primary years.

yet, even with this virtually encyclopaediatic knowledge, i got hurt today. i emerged from the pta office and saw that sebastian's class was having recess. i scanned the faces and forms, and eventually located my little boy, drawing alone.

i looked around for rufus. couldn't see him. walked back into the pta office and went back to boxing books.

nine minutes later, i was outside again, as sebastian's class was lining up to go upstairs. my little blonde boy launched himself at me.

mummy! he said.

hello kitten. we smiled at each other.

that's a gorgeous picture, i observed.

thank you. i just made it.

did you play with anyone?

no. i played by myself.

by now, i had seen rufus holding hands with julian. watched them line up together. rufus smiled and waved at me and i smiled and waved back. he is a very nice boy.

sebastian didn't mind being alone. sometimes he does, and comes home saying that no one wanted to play with him and no one wanted to be his friend. today, he didn't mind.

today, my heart cracked a bit.

i know it is okay, because sebastian was okay.

but my heart. he looked so alone.

there are times you are proud of your child for standing alone, for taking a stand, etc...but today was not one of them for me. i know this also.

Comments

[Coral]

You don't think that Seb is one of those people who needs "down time"? Time away from others to "chill out"? If he is not worried, I don't think you should be, either.

[tess]

you're right, i shouldn't be worried. but...gah...!

[joeinvegas]

As long as Seb isn't worried then perhaps you shouldn't be. I know you want the best for him.

[Auntie Pammie]

Hi Tess,
I have to agree that I am sure that Seb is ok, Yes as a parent I can imagine it would hurt to see, but he also may enjoy quiet time to himself as when he is at home, he is always the big brother to the wee three.. just my two bits xoxo

[Lowa]

I know what you mean. I had my kids in public school for a bit last year. They wanted to try it again. They have always had many friends at church, various classes, sports and swimming, etc and been "popular". My oldest is like me and quite introverted and has a few select and close friends. Everyone he meets adores him and he is funny and fun, if a tad...intimidating. He has always been very advanced and mature for his age and spoken like a person of about 35 years of age since he was three! LOL When he attended grade two in public school, the people flipped because he tested at a college level in reading (speed and comprehension) and they wanted to send him to a gifted school, etc.

Anyway, at one point during the year last year, I had to go to the school for something, I forget what. It was lunch time and I walked past a bench under a tree and saw my baby (14 years old! LOL) sitting alone, eating his lunch. For some reason, it looked like a very lonely scene and it totally broke my heart. Yet he was fine. Didn't bother him at all. Every other time I went to the school, he was walking along, talking to other people and smiling. That ONE time, he was alone and it struck me as sad. When I spoke to him about it, he grinned and assured me that all was well. He chose to eat alone that day.

So all this to say I know it is hard and there will be times it DOES make Seb sad perhaps. But yes, since he was fine...you need to TRY to be fine!

*HUG* Will pray for you!