i am very very very somewhat interested in hearing your opinion on this matter.

i belong to a triplet parents discussion group.

a relatively new mum of triplets recently posted to the group asking for assistance on obtaining a handicapped parking tag for her vehicle. although she and her children have no health issues, she feels that her children's safety is at issue when she is unloading her kids from the vehicle to the stroller, and she is therefore entitled to a parking space.

some fellow mums wrote back and gave her tips on getting the handicapped parking location.

however the majority wrote back in disfavour of this action.

i admit i fall into the second category.

i do not consider my kids handicaps. even if i could drive, why would i take a handicapped parking spot that should be used by someone who legitimately needs it? i don't argue that getting kids out of a vehicle can be tough and fast moving cars can be a danger, but mums of multiples have the option of parking in far off locations, which also burns calories (YAY!). (obviously the parking lots in hong kong need to be a little bigger to give me a little longer to work off my jlo.)

what do other people think when they see parents of multiples demanding special privileges? someone sent me an email on the topic asking, "what about jon and kate plus eight? they have their own their own designated parking spot." that is their business! between them and the company! they didn't ask for it, it was given to them. i do see a difference.

besides the fact that my children aren't handicaps, i do know that handicapped parking spaces are needed by the majority of the people who do have the parking tags. yes, some people do abuse handicapped tags, but that is their choice, their conscience.

so there we go. this will never affect my life because chances are very good i will never drive. but even if i could, i wouldn't classify my kids as handicaps. and i wouldn't single them out by describing them as handicapped. as a handicapped person who's handicap shows itself in very obvious ways occasionally, i want to spare them that "handicapped" label.

Comments

[Auntie Pammie]

I agree with you re: not opting for handicapped sticker. What do parents with non-multiples ( but that have a whole bunch of kids) do? They get no special parking spot. What about the elderly who ache and hurt when they get in and out of cars, but they dont just yet qualify for that sticker? Being in the healthcare industry for as long as I have been, I have seen such abuse of this priviledge in Canada that it makes me sick at times to see the way that it is used. This area is a sore spot for me.
Auntie Pammie xoxoo

[Christine]

Hi Tess,

First off, I really enjoy your blog - I've been reading for a long time but I don't think I've ever commented.

I belong to that same discussion group and always cringe a little when the topic comes up. I agree with you. Of course it's difficult loading everyone in and out, especially when they are toddlers and can make a break for it, but I really don't think you should get a handicap space because of it. As Auntie Pamie points out, there are plenty of people out there with 3 or 4 kids who don't get a handicap tag.

We have a local grocery store that has some special parking spaces for parents with small children that have a bit of extra space on each side. We go to them rather than the store across the street partly because they provide this option. In other parking lots we just park farther away so we don't have anyone next to us. It's really not that big a deal.

-Christine

[Jody]

I'm adamantly opposed to getting the sticker if you are transporting healthy children. Plenty of multiple-birth children do have handicaps and their families deserve the sticker, but the mere presence of multiple children (even multiple babies) does not render you physically incapacitated or otherwise in need of close access to the store.

I've also learned never, ever to share my opinion on forums anymore. ;-)

[Stephanie]

This is a sore spot for me as well. I don't think they should get the sticker. When they take a handicapped parking space, others cannot. My grandparents were handicapped. It was impossible for them to use a regualr space. Going grocery shopping, out to dinner, etc- no space meant they could not accomplish what they needed to.
I know a lot of people think of it as "victimless"-who really gets hurt, anyway? But a lot of people do. It's not a convenience for them. *rant over*

[Stacy]

I don't think she should be allowed to get the parking sticker. Actually, I think it's ridiculous that she would even ask or consider asking.

[Sheila]

I agree. Admittedly when I was very very pregnant, about to go on bedrest, I would have liked a special sticker. And I really appreciated the couple of stores that had special spaces for pregnant moms or parents with young infants. I also really appreciated the places that had automatic opening doors for wheelchair access, which helped so much with our triple stroller.

But having multiple birth children is not a medical condition, unless one or more of those children has a special health problem. Other disabled people need those spaces much more.

Most of us parents of multiples need to be grateful for the good health we have, and for our healthy children. We need to think more about the needs of others, who truly cannot get out and about without the special spaces and wheelchair access.

Have you said so on the discussion forum you mentioned? I hope your views are accepted with respect and thoughtfulness, whether or not people agree.

[lyns]

first I totally agree with you...but if a triplet mom can get a sticker than I wnat one too... 4 kids 5yrs and under is way harder to manage than 3 kids the same age...and if they are all stroller bound then they are all fairly under control...as in taking one kid at a time out of the car seat and placing said non-running about child into stroller and then moving on to the next one... but alas... I don't see having children as a handicap either.... I do however LOVE the stores that have special parking for expecting mums and spots for families... they are usually close to the store like the handicap ones and you don't need a special sticker...just an honorable conscience! I understand that having more than one child at a time has its challenges... but there is something really sneaky about trying to claim handicap status... what about the families who have children with true handicaps who actually need the space with the extra room to unload the wheelchair or other equipment??? I ramble on... xo lyns

[Coral]

I agree with all. Your kids are NOT a handicap, they are a blessing.

We have a store close to home that is adjacent to a few old age villages. They have pensioners parking - I really applaud them their decision.

[Sandie]

Another reader who has never commented coming out of the woodwork. I couldn`t agree with you more. My mum is disabled and I would never support someone wanting to abuse the system for their own convenience. When my triplets were born they made 5 under 4. I don`t think I either needed or deserved a disabled parking sticker.
BTW I found your blog when I was expecting triplets. I googled and found the story of your triplets NICU journey. I read it right through with my heart in my mouth praying they would all pull through okay. I have tears in my eyes now remembering. That`s why I still check in time to time to see how great they`re doing - plus you write interesting blogs!

[joeinvegas]

Agree too, people that have serious medical problems and need the special spot should get it. Let that women park far out where there is room for her to unload, and take the walk while she can!
As far as J&K+8, the mother of trips across from us really dislikes them, as does all of her Mothers of Multiples group, they say J&K are taking too much advantage of things.