while in canada, i spent some great hours with uber good friends charmaine and anne.
anne and charles they are magnifcent friends and have such great teenage stories on each other, back when he wore an ascot and they couldn't walk through a door together because her helmet hair and shoulder pads made it impossible. when i married charles, i was lucky enough to inherit one of his best friends as well...lucky me!
charmaine and i have a more recent history, and like anne and i - we have a love. and we laugh. and we talk about our husbands, our lives, and our families. do we have favourite children? does it count as a favourite if we worry more about one than the others? we have very similar husbands, and my husband thinks charmaine is about as good as it gets because of her computer knowledge and her savvy business skills (www.adoptionprofiles.ca). charmaine and i get each other. it's just love.
i noticed a phenomenon when i was out with charmaine and anne. (the three of us have never gotten together...that would be a fun time)...i would be with one friend or another, and we would be looking at a book, exclaming over an eyeshadow, debating alternate ways of making a pastry we were eating, bascially just rejoicing in being with a friend and being together and smiling and laughing and being in the same time zone and knowing our time was short which made it even more precious, and just being able to look at the other person and know that there infront of you was a friend that you loved and trusted and even though you knew their secrets, they still were wonderful in your eyes...when all of a sudden, a salesperson or hotel clerk would swoop down upon us.
and try to join our party.
what is it about being joyous with a friend (and not really in a loud way, unless i was requesting a bagel at the hotel before the free breakfast had ended, i might add) that makes people, particularly other women, want to be with you.
the allure of deep friendship is potent. it attracts people. i watched it happen. salespeople followed us out of their stations, just to continue conversing with us. wanting to know if charmaine and i were sisters. advising anne on which power point eyeliner to buy.
we're not carrie and crew from SATC, but those threads of female friendship seem to magnetically attract women. especially when your contentment was showing, as ours, mine, was.
do you find this happens to you? there was no alcohol involved. this wasn't a drink thing. this was just other women (we won't even talk about the men who so did not stand a chance), wanting to be part of it. i'm now asking myself, do i find myself responding to girl circles?
if conversations are loud, i might go up a notch or two and respond in like, but i don't think i am pulled into the force field of friendship. i observe it, and it makes me smile (or send a text message...), but i don't feel the innate need to prolong by interaction in it, which is what i found happening time and again while i was with my friends.
it feels great to have love with my husband, that's a given, but you know, when with girlfriends i love, especially those i don't see so often, sometimes i get a little sentimental. i just love my friends. and everyone else seems to as well.
anyone?
I LOVE girls and girl friendships. I have just made a new friendship and it is still new and shy but we just click and I am excited as I know this one's a keeper. She sent me text and I was all happy, a bit like a girl crush!
Posted by: Sister Mel | February 25, 2008 at 04:02 AM
I have 2 friends and when we are together we have the same experience. We have had sales people tell us that it is so refreshing to be with women like us and that we say things with such love even when it is "that looks awful" and there is no malice. They want to know how we are the way we are. Where we met, and are we sisters or cousins or something. I love them like they are my sisters and I am very blessed to have them in my life. And we are very straight with each other about stuff. We don't listen to stories and disempowering conversations. We are up to big things and we interact like we are. Thanks for reminding me of how great they are.
Posted by: Zoe Ranger | February 25, 2008 at 11:20 AM
The best friendships are when you can pick up where you left off, no matter how long has passed since you last saw one another!
Posted by: Penny | February 25, 2008 at 01:04 PM
I think people gravitate toward "friend groups" becouse they may lack in that department or miss their own girl friends. I know im like that but in my case i only have my mom and i cant really talk to her the way you can with a friend. Making friends is really hard especially when you are the only married and "childed" person in your original group of friends - it makes life very difficult.
Posted by: Marcia | February 25, 2008 at 02:20 PM
oh yes! my best friend and I always attract someone asking if we are sisters. my friend always says 'yes, we are!!' and then the inevitable...I thought so...you look just alike...follows.
we do not look alike at all!
I love my girlfriends!
Posted by: polly | February 25, 2008 at 10:15 PM
People absolutely gravitate towards THAT! I think it's something everyone is looking for, but very few find.
Friends rock. BFFs? Even better.
Love you
xoxo
Posted by: Tammy | February 26, 2008 at 12:40 AM
I am positive it is the lesbo kisses I give you.
It is "love actually" with you my sweet friend....
Posted by: Charmaine | February 29, 2008 at 01:06 PM