we had slid back into complacency.

this morning when i looked at the calendar and realised jasper had a doctor's appointment, i actually rolled my eyes, instead of feeling icewater drift into titanic sized worries around my stomach. there was no nausea.

jasper even cracked the 45th percentile (asian) for height and weight. i was ecstatic. even looking forward to the day when there would be no more appointments.

and then we saw the doctor.

he asked jasper a few questions. and then he looked up at me and asked me many more.

1. did jasper run here

2. was he running in the waiting room

my answers were no and no. i wanted to say:

1. no, the waiting times are so long we could have crawled and still had time for a coffee afterwards

2. no, it is called the waiting room, not the running room. the running room is a shop.

but, i didn;t want to get "glib" so i stuck to just the facts, maam. and besides, i didn't want to interfere in the quality of my kids healthcare. but then the bad news started. jasper has a wheeze. how often does he have a cough? at least five days a month? yes? does he cough in the middle of the night? yes? doesn't matter if water can appease the cough...he does have a cough? and asthma runs in the family? he was the heaviest preemie? i see.

this is when i start to want to make comments about ITS ALL THERE IN THE FILE. but given that the file is taller than me, i didn't want to alienate the doctor. if he had read the entire file, we would still be in the waiting room.

jasper's lungs are in trouble. we're back on steroids 200 micrograms twice a day, and ventolin six times a day (two puffs at a go). the steroids have all sorts of long term side effects.

the irony is, the doctor told me that jaspers physical activities must be severely curtailed or else we are in danger of harming his lungs or passageways. (i am still uncertain as to what the technical term is). i have to admit, this part makes me laugh. what else would jasper like more than to have his physical activities curtailed? the doctor even cautioned me that jasper might even have learned to hide or fake his symptoms.

we walked home (slowly) and then jasper ran to the bathroom to do wees. he slipped and he hit his head, cutting open his face right below his eyebrow, so close to his eye.

he cried and cried and cried. wheezed and wheezed and wheezed.

Comments

[Auntie Pammie]

Tess, I am so sorry to hear of this news.. I am sure little JJ will find a way to deal and be fine with all of this :-).. sorry to hear about his eye... ( did he need stitches?)
Send him some extra love from Auntie P ,, xoxoo

[Dad]

The certainties of one measurement in time can be overturned by measurements made later in life. A challenge to physical health can be balanced by positive mental health.
All I can see at this point is that Jasper and I will have to subdue the action when we have our swordfights ( with those low priced sword jobbies from Stanley) but that is OK by me.
Love to all.....Dad

[Trinie]

Oh Tess, I'm sorry that you have got this news - but I can't see that it is going to make a long term difference to him. Over here, children with asthma are encouraged to exercise to slowly increase their lung capacity. I so hope that that is what will happen for him as he gets older. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

[Karen Ritchey]

Hey Honey,
You've had detours before. God will work this one out too!
Hugs and prayers...

[Sheila]

Oh, dear, poor Jasper! I hope his lungs will heal up nicely with the steroids, nearly as quickly as his cut will heal up.
I will pray for healing for him, and I hope that in a few weeks of treatment, he will be able to be much more active and have much more fun every day!
Don't worry about the long term, he may not need nearly so much meds in a couple of years.

[Elaine D]

Have hope, Tess. Matt's asthma was dreadful when he was Jasper's age. Many a night we wondered if each gasp would be his last. It was frightening but he grew & thrived & we all learned to live with it. He was on multiple meds including steroids until a couple of years ago but now at age 28, he's finally off them all & doing fine.