Dim Sum Mum - Tess' Little Pieces

first week = survival

have you ever been late for a dinner party?

anal retentive first there tess has. last night, if you want to get into specifics. how embarrassing.

some friends are moving and they invited us, and some other friends over to theirs for a casual evening (anything with kids is casual). i knew it was saturday night.

currently i am avoiding our flat, because the toilets aren't flushing. as much fun as it is to hear sebastian cranking the handle 20 times and then when i remind him in not so dulcet tones "It's NOT WORKING!" he responds, "oh YEAHHHH, I FORGOT", and carys asking about the broken toilet in terms that suggest today the toilet tomorrow the world...it's just easier to be out of the flat.

at 4.30 andrea and i went for a workout at the aberdeen boat club. we have a theory to make the sweat fly faster and treadmill hours cruise by unnoticed...we are watching sex and the city. yesterday we watched two episodes and at around 5pm we decided to go home.

charles was there and eyed me with some amusement. no anger, which has to be said is one of his very good traits. he explained that we were 45 minutes late to dinner. i said several things and then went to get ready.

blame, squarely on my shoulders.

possibly if i wasn't so preoccupied with the republican vice presidential nominee debate - crazy or canny....i would have remembered the time of the dinner. but i doubt it. anyway, we went and it was fine and fun. a good evening. good friends.

but i hate being late. gah. bad. ugh.

which is why it is 8.47 and church doesnt begin until 11 am and jasper, sela and carys are all dressed and wonderful, and we are just waiting for charles to get home from rugby with sebastian and then we will trundle off to church. i am taking no chances today.

this morning sebastian crawled into our bed sans special blanket. if i had been coherent, i would have had two thoughts:

1) (whilst still fuzzily asleep) ahh, so he is growing up and no longer needs special blanket, how great/sortasadzzzzzzzzzzzz

2) (as i shook the cotton wool out of my head) maybe'zzz he sick

Thirty-five minutes later, the debate was over as sebastian leaned over the bed and vomitted. at his father's urgings, he ran for the toilet, only to be stopped by two more vomits.

poor little kitten.

in my 'yout', vomitting was a big deal, usually accompanied by tears. in 6a, it is usually accompanied by people following you pied piper like and providing bob costas like updates. but there are no tears. vomitting is nothing one cries about. it is just something that happens.

marianne and i cleaned up the sick pretty quickly and i switched my day around so that there is someone at home as obviously seb isn't going to school. and i had a full, and dare i say it, pretty great day planned. one of the notable things is that carys is meant to get her stitches out. i want to be the one who is with her when this happens, but if i am at home with sebastian ? ? ? ? ?

he seemed to perk up, and i gave him some pancakes. while he was eating, i sat down, and made all the responsible calls to the school that he is not going to be in this morning. i wrote this morning, because i was thinking,
no vomit for 2 hrs now, he's eating....life is good! i could maybe have him back in the  classroom in a few hours!"

and suddenly, a voice called out and interrupted my plan to get my day back on track...

"mummy, i did a small poo in my bobs".

alas.

i led him to the toilet, put my hand on his tummy, felt those tangled little intestines and suggested he stay on the toilet. he said, "but mummy, i don't need to do a poo anymore!" and i said, "you will honey." he suggested he just wanted to lie down, and i emphasised the need to stay on the toilet. and as i emphasised, the wisdom of my words came to pass, shall we say.

i washed his bobs and talked to him, and now he is sitting down with a cup of juice, showered and a bit sad.

so am i.

i will make both of us a cup of tea.

twins, just because?

all is well in hong kong. battered and bruised, but that's mainly just my patience.

i am interested in your opinions on a the below matter. the other day on a public forum, a woman posted and said she had always wanted twins, and despite not having any fertilty issues, wanted information on how to get clomid.

some women responded (no one condemned her) and one mum of multiples mentioned that it might look cute and fun, but there were very real dangers, and of course, no guarantees of multiples come with clomid.

i responded and asked her what aspect of her "twin fantasy" she had. responding privately, she said it had always been a dream, and then mentioned the cuteness and adorableness of twins.

(you notice how noone ever wants triplets??)

having been through it, i don't really understand the concept of "twin cuteness". (or triplet cuteness). i cant look at one picture of my kids and say, "that is so much cuter" than a picture of one of those kids alone in a photo.

or, how is a photo of jasper, sela, carys and sebastian cuter than say, (cough) a picture of pam, graeme and my own rather cute self when we were 8, 4 and 6? (except we were wearing green crocheted tops and flared cords with daisies on them). kids, happy together...its CUTE!

so i don't get the whole concept of twins are cuter than two kids of different ages. personally, i do not understand why a parent would want to have two or three at once. i would not change anything that has happened, because this is what God wants for us, but i don't understand the desire for multiples when you don't have fertility issues.

when you do have fertility issues, two is manna. the hope of having one child is a dream you were beginning to think might not ever be yours, (especially with adoption becoming more and more challenging), and to have two from a procedure that has no guarantees...what a blessing!

but to seek it out, go through the hassle and hormones because you have always had the fantasy...i dont understand the fantasy. or is this because i know my reality?

what is the twin fantasy?

how can sebastian NOT believe in God? his first morning of school, as he sat at a table with victor, ben, hugh and a few other fellows, his cute teacher (he always gets attractive teachers, another bonus), announced that typhoon nuri was on its way, and could the kids please give this paper to mummy and daddy? (seb & adam at left prior to leaving for school)

the paper was of course reminding parents about typhoon policies, basically telling us, "don't bring your kids to school tomorrow."

even if i hadn't heard it on cnnasia, i knew there was a typhoon on the way. a taxi driver had told me.

"very bad typhoon tomorrow missy. by 8am, typhoon 8. we stop and get groceries for you?"

i assured him we would be okay. the pre-typhoon weather was still and hot. eerily heavy.

sebastian bounced out of his first day of primary TWO and smiled and handed me the notice and then we headed home to find gary taping up the windows and pushing the furniture up against the floor to ceiling patio sliding doors. there are five of them in total. big X"s across the windows. it was too hot for the kids to play outside, so sebastian and adam played transformers up at ours, while the triplets played at andrea's upstairs. andrea came up to join me and we talked about ashleigh's first day at school (such a big girl!!!) and we lay on our bed watching a re-run of grey's anatomy while next to us the boys watched teen titans. the universe felt orderly.

charles came home and i made him some delicious (say so myself) vietnamese glass noodle salad. it was too hot for anything else and the cool dressing and slippery noodles were fantastic. the kids and i had made the dressing a few days earlier and they were very impressed with their garlic smelling hands afterwards.

we watched a couple of episodes of HOUSE, and talked a bit, then switched on to the olympics. the trees were moving around outside, but they sure weren't frantic, but the heat was oppressive. i felt sorry for the horses, jumping for the allround. was less sorry when CANADA won the gold medal. (yay! we stand on guard for thee!)

fell asleep with the typhoon signal at three and expected to be at 8 by noon.

charles and i awoke around 4am courtesy of the wind shrieking in through our airconditioner. whheeeee! oh my sweet fart faced fool. thankfully the kids slept as their room is on the opposite side of the hall. i checked the website and it said that although it was still typhoon 3, school was cancelled.

the kids slept until 7am then crawled into our bed and we watched cartoons for a while, as sebastian announced, "this is the best day ever", and then changed his mind because the "good cartoons" weren't on yet.

typhoon eight went up around 8. all the bigger boats came in from the harbour. that was a real indicator that everyone was taking this typhoon seriously. (tess early friday morning with taped windows in the background)

around 9am charles and i decided it was time to get the kids outside before the winds got too heavy. i grabbed some m&m's, and we descended to the playground. made the kids run round a few times, and gave them their bounty.

a few parents obviously had the same idea, and we gathered on the playground and chatted away. i suppose i should have been a bit self conscious as i was wearing my sponge bob squarepants pajamas, but the thing is, i KNEW the rain was coming soon, it was SO HUMID and hot, and these pants were just the thing and went well with the tank top i was wearing. no regrets, dude! i convinced andrea to come down in her pajamas as well.

suddenly the wind picked up and sela's wellie went zooming off her foot and skittering across the playground. charles' glasses as well. the adults looked at each other and decided it was time for plan b.

this is how i ended up with 9 girls in my house (some of whom i had never met before). andrea got the boys. weng and mark made pizzas for them, and at 12.30 we had a pizza party for 16 kids, while marianne cooked for all the helpers. one couple showed up with wine for the parents. (yay!) it was fun and impromptu. all over our building, there were various versions of what was occurring at our flat, happening. that's one of the things i love about our building.

the next stage was a movie over at the van dales. poor jasper tried to stick it out, but they have three cats, so he was only there for an hour before he started breaking out in hives and wheezing. so he is home now sipping juice and being spoilt. "i get to choose what i watch." sadly, somedays when it is just jasper, he chooses to watch the wiggles...but not today. superheroes. i'm not sure i am ready to give up the wiggles.

the typhoon is apparently going to be a humdinger. it is expected to hit head on at 9pm. we are supposed to keep the kids away from the windows, particularly the windows that face the direction the wind is coming from. it will be well and i hope they remember it. especially sebastian. in years to come if he is doubting God and thinks about answers to prayer...he needs to remember today, and the fun he is having, while the windows tremble, the wind shrieks and the rain slices down vertically all around him. (at left, sela reading tonight's bedtime story - she pulled the words from memory but still did an excellent job!)

yesterday carys cut her chin open and needed three stitches to close her face up.

i am so grateful for good friends and neighbours. we were at the boat club, and i was chatting with another mum of multiples when i saw carys approaching me, streaming wet but with a thin trickle of pink coming down her neck.

i knew it was blood, even before carys said, "mummy, i hurt myself."

our friends, mark and weng were there, and mark immediately got bandages and gauze, and then agreed wtih me that this was going to require stitches. carys was as brave as a lion. there was no sobbing, she was stoic.

mark offered to drive me and my bleeding bikini girl to the hospital, but charles said he would. so mark and weng, even though they had plans, stayed behind at the club, and let our kids swim and play. their kids were fully dressed, but they looked after our kids for us. good friends.

charles and i raced back with still stoic carys, and while carys and i waited downstairs, charles got carys' passport, a change of clothes, the portable dvd player, books and snacks. and then he dropped us off at the hospital.

the olympics were blaring, table tennis and hong kong was playing. i don't think i have ever seen such an enthusiastic ER waiting room! people were actually hesitating before heading off to see the dr after their name was called.

no surprise, carys needed stitches. because her cut was so close to the bone, they couldnt give her a jab to anaesthatise the area. they sprayed it a bit, but she was still in discomfort. the dr tried to kick me out of the room while they gave her the stitches, can you imagine? ho ho ho, like i was going anywhere while they were pulling a needle in and out of my child's face!!!

but eventually, it was over and we left. we came home, i put on dora the explorer, gave her some pain medication, daubed some salve on the red scrape on her throat, helped her into her pajamas, and then watched her fall asleep on the couch.

interestingly enough, even though carys was a trooper, last night i had the toughest time sleeping. i kept seeing that wound, all the blood, the bits of the wire clippings dropping into carys' blonde hair and my fingers pulling them out, her hands with the chipped nail polish holding my hand but not gripping it very tightly. poor little possum.

i am not meant to change the dressings, but they are filthy already. after one day. she was playing hard today and i was so proud of her.

olympic gymnast criticism bounces off

this whole debate about the exact age of the chinese gymnasts is, to pass the buck, the fault of the international olympic committee. they need to relax the rule, lower it to 14.

the rules for competing need to be relaxed. in figure skating, no one was complaining about michelle kwan being in senior classes and the alternate to the women's 1994 lillehammer team when she was 14 years old. skating takes just as much time and dedication as gymnastics. so why the double standard?

very likely, a few of the chinese gymnasts are under the tender age of sweet 16. frankly, after visiting hunan province last year, i am just happy thinking of those gymnasts living in the athletic compounds with healthy food and a roof over their head. i am very very sorry for their competition if they are indeed underage, because it gives the young uns an unfair advantage. as nadia comaneci says, "everything is easier when you're younger."

but for american (former romanian) marta karolyi to suggest that a chinese gymnast is underage because she has a missing tooth makes me roll my eyes. do you think it is possible the girl just never received proper dental care like millions of her compatriots? karolyi hails from romania, goodness knows she has her fair of third world experience, so why would she make a comment like that?

her husband, bela karolyi, the man who coached nadia comaneci, has stated in print that while he coached in romania that the country falsified passports so the girls could compete, when they were faced wtih age restrictions. obviously it is done. so, let's make it an even playing field. i reckon those junior gymnasts compete and train just as hard as the seniors do.

in the airport a while ago, it was suggested that sebastian looks younger than his years, because he hasnt lost any teeth and because he is short for his age. should i sign him up for chinese gymnastics? it seems he meets the credentials.

take a look at pictures of kwan as a 16 year old. i think she looks 14..or ?? young. she looks young. but old enough to be a world class athlete.

i am getting off my soapbox because i need to do laundry.

this could be a quick post

it all depends on sebastian.

believe it or not, sebastian is in hour six of a playdate.

yesterday, carys' friend and classmate laura came over for a playdate. i don't know laura very well, but i like her, and i like her mum as well. laura came only for 3 hours, and then we took her home again. today, it was samantha, from jasper and sela's class. jasper was quite pouty, asking, "when do i get a playdate?" i asked who he wanted, and he said, "tallinn or harry?" i called both those fine boys, and thankfully, although tallinn was at summer camp, i arranged something for after twelve.

samantha arrived, and then i discreetly said to sebastian, "honey, time to get your stuff, we are leaving soon". to which my son said, undiscreetly, "that's right, we're going to the ABC with victor!"

well. it was the shot heard round the world. years from now, or at least tonight at dinner, jasper, sela and carys will be able to tell me where they were when sebastian made that announcement. and the cries began.

MUMMMMMMY! we want to come to the ABC too! it isn't fair!

well. carys slammed herself down to the ground and started smacking her ineffective wrists to the floor and kicking her feet and i stood up (i was on the toilet), and said, "carys, you had a playdate yesterday, jasper you are having one later today. but have i had a playdate? no, i have not, and your whinging is very ungrateful."

carys muttered an "i'm sowwy" and then sebastian and i escaped. we picked up victor and headed to the abc. we changed into our bathers and swam for 2 hours. the boys were the only ones in the pool and i read three magazines. heaven! the only disagreement the boys had was when to get out of the pool. then it was lunchtime, and afterwards a quick play outside. and an icelolly of course.

then back to our house. it was 2pm. they had been together for four hours and were going strong. back at 122, they began playing castles and knights, and then i offered to let them watch spykids, but apparently after one hour they got bored and decided to play narnia, complete with darth vader and spaceships.

a while ago i asked victor if he wanted to go home or stay here, and he said he wanted to stay. i am just amazed. and so grateful. what a great day for sebastian! and me, because i get to witness my boy happy with another child! getting over small quibbles, having discussions, and being creative. i am really grateful to be witness to this today!

and of course there have been classic lines. victor has really shot up over the summer and lost two teeth. the tooth fairy brought him some money. "i am rich in denmark now" he informed me, "because that is where i lost my tooths."

sebastian, who tried to show off his diving abilities and ended up doing a belly flop, responding to victor's comment, "you didn't dive far", blithely explaining,

"it was an emergency landing."

and a few minutes ago, trying to figure out how to save peter from the white witch (a baddie) in narnia.

sebastian: we need to get james bond. he can take care of it.

it's been 6hrs 42 minutes. do you think they'll last until dinner? will i??

mouse in the house

this summer at fintry we had unexpected guests. a family of them, actually.

our first day, i walked into a ground floor room and saw charles staring intently at the carpet. seconds later, from behind the bookcase scampered a mouse. it looked like a fieldmouse, really long back legs, round large ears.

my dad and i set up the mouse trap (a humane one, that traps the mouse, not one that has poisoned food or breaks its neck) and figured in a couple of days the problem would be over. it wasn't.

at night, the mouse would come out and hide around the refrigerator. we weren't sure why. the kids thought it fantastic, and cheered for the mouse. the adults couldn't capture it (although we tried while mum stayed in her room with the door shut) until one day we met the mouse's achilles heel, her son, jackson.

mandy called it jackson, my kids called him gus gus. he was, admittedly a very cute mouse. one night, we surprised mama mouse as she was carrying jackson in her mouth and when she saw us she dropped him in surprised. mandy scooped jackson into a tin. she began making plans to take him back to edmonton with her. (as one would). she kept him in the bathtub that night, hoping that the mum would come to collect him and get caught in the tub herself. i stayed out of it, because i sensed no good was coming out of the situation. jackson's shrill little squeaks were quite heartrending and rent the night.

at 3am, charles got up to do a wee, and found jackson and his mum in the tub. he started filming their reunion when it was cut short...mama jumped out of the tub, effectively leaving her orphan son alone again. sucks to be you, jackson. but we figured she had six more kids to worry about.

have i mentioned jackson was tiny? so tiny that the next day he escaped. mandy still isn't sure how. possibly when she was on the plane with westjet asking if jckson could fly on the plane in her pocket, like a mosquito, or if she would have to buy him his own seat. or get a carrier.

he did disappear though. this is what i meant when i said no good would come of it. that night, sela came downstairs and said, "i just saw gusgus. we was upstairs looking for food." she wasn't scared, just disappointed that i wouldn't give her food and sad that she didn't see more of him.

for the next week, i saw little of mama and nothing of jackson. but one night, i had just turned out the light and i heard a rustling noise. sebastian was sleeping in the room with us, and sela in the single room next to the twin beds room where carys and jasper were. and then something scampered along my arm and i realised it was the fricking mouse. there had been pellets in our room for a few days so i wasn't too surprised, but still! the cheek to come out while i was in there!

i jumped up and turned on the light. saw a flash of tail. immediately put pillows around sebastian. crept out, closed the other bedroom doors. walked back into my room and pulled a pillow off sebastian, and pulled the pillowcase off the pillow. opened it. my priority was to get the mouse away from my son,  but if it came near him...i would be waiting. my swing is pretty good and there was a wall nearby.

the mouse took the easy way out and ran. i followed her and was impressed at how briskly she took the steps. then again, i must have seemed like the hound of the baskervilles.

when lita arrived, we told her of the presence of jackson and his mummy. she looked at me and said, "is mandy gone?" and i said, "yes".

"do you want me to kill it?" she asked and i said, "yes".

a couple of nights later, mama mouse foolishly wended its way into pams room. silly silly silly. pam WOKE UP LITA and asked her to come upstairs and kill the mouse for her. lita grabbed a huge iron spatula and was on the job.

no luck.

again, pam sighted the luckless mouse and sent lita on the hunt. and again, nothing.

charles saw the mouse a couple more times in our room, but he got no further than anyone else did.

now, are we wrong to be killing one of God's creatures? mandy was upset that we were trying, but honestly, rat scat isn't so healthy to be around. and that mouse would have walked over my little boy if i hadn't stopped her. therefore, i don't think my actions were terribly wrong. i was actually quite proud of myself.

does this seem hypocritical given i am the welcome wagon for geckos?

not only am i mean, but i am crafty

charles can attest to the blog headline, and in a few years it is my hope that my children will second, third, fourth and fifth the statement.

but, my defense will be, to quote harlequin (and really, who doesn't?) "i did it for love".

as you know, les enfants, with the exception of sela are not vegetably-inclined. actually, they are not overly fruit adventurous, with the exception of sela, who eats blueberries like they are m&m's and enjoys pineapple and strawberries and rockmelon and raspberries and laichees, etc.

while it was fun to take a summer hiatus, now we are back in hong kong and i am back in mummy whip cracking mode. and because i don't want to take on a few BIG issues, i decided to have a few small victories first, to make me feel good and warm me up. a facial for the soul.

so, i declared out of the blue to charles in our post dark knight shopping expedition, "get the ingredients for smoothies...tomorrow we start". and with that, i grabbed frozen spinach and chocolate powder.

every morning since, the kids have been enjoying chocolate smoothies that include: blueberries, bananas, strawberries, spinach, yogurt (sometimes), milk, ice and chocolate. i am debating throwing in some flax seed, but am scared to see the results.

it is a small victory, but a good one. it is not teaching them that vegetables are delicious, but hopefully they will learn that later in life. right? please?

if anyone has any other suggestions for other vegetables we could drop in there, we're listening. sebastian caught me thawing the spinach and asked what it was, and charles answered, "vitamins". no lying in this house! i will post the best recipe we find, if you want. in the meantime, this is working really well and we're really grateful. for a while there it seemed the only way we were going to get vegetables into jasper was if we laced his bobs and socks with celery string.

ballet shoes and birds nest

magnificent charles is watching the opening of the olympiads on television and i am sneaking off during the chinese opera to update. they are doing a great job. i feel sorry for vancouver and other host countries to come...who has the money to splash out on ceremonies like this?

i have given in to the begging and pleading...and i have signed carys and sela up for ballet classes. the cost is exorbitant and the uniform is more than their school uniform, but i wish you could have seen their reactions when i told them i had signed them up for classes. i was told how much i was loved, how happy they were and then sela said in a demanding voice, WHEN CAN I GO? WHEN CAN THE TRIPLETS GO?

oh did i mention that jasper is going as well? charles is not thrilled, but if jasper doesn't like it, he can drop out.

now the trouble of the girls hair. the teacher insists that hair is pulled back into a bun, but neither carys or sela HAVE enough hair to constitue a bun. i can barely get a bunch for sela! in a serious conversation, while she was dancing and piroetting and crashing, i told her we would need to put bobbie pins in her hair. if possible, her grin split even wider and she exclaimed,

CARYS, DID YOU HEAR THAT? BARBIE PINS IN OUR HAIR!!!

happy happy days.