Dim Sum Mum - Tess' Little Pieces

tonight post bootcamp and shower, i was thinking what else i could do that would make me feel great.

i had done my inhouse makeover, and so what could i do for the soul?

ahhh, with charles out of the flat, there was only one thing to do...play throw away.

i opened the closet doors wide and was quite ruthless. made tall piles of "piling" clothes, socks getting close to holey (can't stand holes in socks), grubby looking knickers, thongs too wide in back (considering i wear thongs about 14-22 per cent of the time it is decent that i keep so many), sweaters with sleeves too short, black skirts gone out of style, business blazers i no longer wear. it took me 20 minutes and i am still smiling.

why do i love throwing things out? why am i so reluctant to cleanse my bookshelf? the annual kennedy night market is 5 december. i need to get rid of all the hangers on in the bookshelf...some of it will be easy. there are some absolute crap books that are barely good for reading once. but what about books like "guns germs and steel?" an interesting trajectory? i read it once, it was fascinating, but will i ever read it again? probably not...but it was v. expensive and v. interesting. choices, choices.

maybe i will just throw away some of magnificent's stuff instead.

not a clean crack of the heart, but a wiggly one

so yesterday jasper and i stayed home from church. we read books for a little bit, spending quite a bit of time on beatrix potters, and then we moved to the computer and jasper practised his typing for a while.

two pages of writing later, jasper asked if we could watch television. i agreed.

usually when jasper and i are alone together and he is a bit under the weather, he will ask for the wiggles. jasper is the last of the trio who still likes watching the wiggles and the girls often outshout him when it is time to choose a video. so it wasn't a surprise when jasper asked me to put in a wiggles dvd, and we started watching it together. the one where they are live in sydney. it is a good one.

jasper seemed less engaged than usual and i began to wonder if this was because he was sicker than i had originally thought. he wasn't even 'romp pomp a chomping' with his erstwhile vigor and there was no hands in the air, rockabye your bear... he just wasn't interested.

15 minutes in, i abandoned my routine and sat down with little jude, thinking he needed a cuddle to feel better. five minutes into the cuddle, jasper asked, "mummy, can we turn off the wiggles and watch mamma mia?"

and my heart gave a distinct crack.

i managed, "sure jasper, no worries", and i kissed him and popped in the new dvd, courtesy of andrea.

i held it together until charles and the remaining three came home. once they were settled, i called to charles and he found me in the kids bedroom. in a low low voice i told him what had happened. unfortunately, my voice was so low that he needed me to repeat myself. and as i was in the middle of attempt #2, i started crying as i faced the fact that our wiggle days are done. and magnificent pulled me to him and i cried like i haven't since olivia died.

those dvd's, which gave the kids so much comfort and enjoyment, no longer do. it makes me so very very sad.

murray, jeff, anthony and greg, thank you. the kids might have forgotten your lyrics, but i don't think i ever will.

this growing up business...it's good, but oh it hurts.

jasper woke up this morning with a yukky cough. whenever jasper is making sounds like that my first concern is that the sounds are emitting from his chest. i am happy to say that they aren't, that this appears to be just a phlegmy cough. but still, although i think he is quite healthy, i also think that he needs to take the day off from church, because frankly, if i was a first timer to union church and took my child to sunday school, i wouldn't be too impressed to have mr down to one pack a day hacking next to him.

sebastian is currently at rugby and the littles are watching dumbo in another room. as much as i would like to be with them, i draw the line at dumbo. goodness knows i have tried to watch the sweet little tale with them, but from the first, none of us really watched the movie. the kids would watch me, blinking rapidly, sniffling and then giving way to the tears pouring down my face, and when they got old enough, asking, "why cwy, mumma?". to put it in circus terms, i was the big tent attraction come dumbo time.

carys is coughing a bit too.

i want to take the kids hiking today. i wonder if i can do that?

if i was a better mum, i would have the kids halloween outfits all figured out, tried on and ready for friday. however, in defense of my anal retentive nature, the boys are going to wear what they wore last year, and the girls just want to be princesses, and i can go to the lanes and get princess costumes for $15 canadian a pop tomorrow in virutally any size. easy peasy lemon squeezy.

DOH! just went to check up on sela and WHAT part of dumbo did i stumble upon? like i needed an excuse to hug my kids.

it's thursday night, 9.30pm. the shower felt great.

i nearly broke sebastian's heart today. he and jasper had been sniping at each other for what seemed an inconsequential thing, and then jasper apparently made the comment that all of my children have been known to utter at times, "you're not my brother".

sebastian, forgetting those same words have come spewing from his gorgeous little lips on a variety of occasions, sought me out for comfort and more than likely, in hopes of getting his brother into trouble.

unfortunately, i had just finished a small run, cut short by the need to visit the bathroom. i reached the bathroom with some relief when sebastian stumbled into the bedroom and wailed, "mummy...."

he poured out how his brother hated him and didn't want to be his brother anymore and didn't love him. he looked at me, wanting reassurance of how he was loved.

and i am afraid that mother nature caused me to shut the door in sebastian's face and say, "nonsense, he does love you. now go find him and straighten this out or you will both feel yukky inside." (this last sentence in direct proportion to my tangled and yukky insides.)

me shutting the door could have further devastated sebastian, but instead he found his brother and i believe they sorted out their business while i took care of mine.

and in case you are keeping track, sela now is riding a bicyle without stablisers. round and round. if you ask jasper, he will tell you very calmly, "i don't want to. why do i need to know how to ride a bike, mummy?"

why indeed? he's a taxi kind of fellow. and actually, coming home from a rock climbing birthday party today, it was jasper's job to hail the taxi. sela was also suffering from a troubled tummy, and i was tending to her, and i told jasper like at ballet, he was the man of the group and needed to get us a taxi. truthfully, here we are on robinson road, taxi hungry folk surrounding us....i didn't rate jasper's chances of getting a taxi too high. but his little hand went up, and flapped flapped flapped, and voila. in we went. jasper asked if he could sit on my lap and as he had done such a spectacular job hailing the taxi, i let him.

it's the little things

one of my greatest little pleasures of the week is stepping into the shower thursday evenings at 8pm.

from 6.30pm-7.30pm i go to bootcamp, and suffer greatly there. bootcamp is a lot of torture and a lot of fun. for not only is our instructor samson quite cute, but he is also quite young, which means he embarrasses quite easily. the other day, one rather buxom member of our group forgot her sports bra. she had come straight from work to bootcamp. by the time we were halfway round the track, her hands were on her valuable assets and she informed us that she was in agony.

"no more running for me tonight, girls!" she exclaimed.

"just tell him," i advised, and then in a moment of jack nicholson inspired furor announced, "he can't handle the truth!"

and so my wounded colleague approached samson and informed him she would do squats, whatever, but no jogging or star jumps. samson made the error of asking "why" and was told very briskly, "I forgot my sports bra. i'm not wearing the right one and i'm in pain."

samson became very interested in untying a knot in the string holding the mats together.

bootcamp is a hassle and i am still in pain (although not in my tookus where at least i would be pleased if i were in pain knowing that i had worked it well) from the vicious lunges samson had us doing last week. i return home, sweating and wild, still panting and exultant, and slide over and into the shower.

people say the reward is in the workout, and maybe that is the next level of workout zen that i haven't reached yet. maybe i need to lose another layer of fat before i can truly feel that way. right now, the reward is in the shower. stepping into clean clothes afterwards. gorgeous.

a close second is my favourite stretch, which comes right after abdominals. very simply, hands over head, legs out. like a pencil. that stretch is something i anticipate all workout long. even before the bootcamp bell rings, i am dreaming of the stretch. (the fact that we do the stretch at the end of the workout also might have something to do with it as well.)

little things. a shower and a stretch being pleasures? that makes my life sound seriously boring.

it is half term break. the weather is agreeing..sunny skies and chirping birds. after just one day the kids are tanned. from what i heard, their tonsils should be tanned as well..they spent most of yesterday screaming! 

firstly, apologies for the week long silence. i have had a girlfriend staying with me. i've known her since i was 11 if you can believe it, and i've been doing double duty of hysterically navigating down memory lane and shopping at the lanes (and the jade market, and the ladies market!) while monitoring homework, ballet, birthdays and social lives that have nothing to do with mine. then there is bootcamp, running and Bible studies...leaving very little time for social stuff, and that includes blogging. having kelly here was great fun though. love having visitors.

carys started riding a bike without stabilisers the other day. sela is puce with envy, however sela justifies (correctly i might add) that her reading is much better. sela is reading words like THAT, SEEN, READ, GOOD, THE, THAT, and is interested in the aforementioned words, unlike jasper, who is actually a good little reader, just not overly interested in reading.

sebastian's academic career continues..much to the frustration of his teacher he has a good little mind. why would that frustrate a teacher? well because he sits around and looks out the window (Even though he sits with his back to the window) and when she asks him a question knowing he hasn't been paying attention, he will know the answer. his maths skills have really increased and right now he is devouring a book we are reading together BRIDGES, BUILDINGS AND TUNNELS. it is filled with all sorts of experiments and we are learning why buildings shake in big winds, and that sort of thing. sebastian is also reading a star wars book.

charles is busy with volunteer projects and at work. not as much travel as before and he is really appreciated AT work which is always nice. he is looking really good, better than anyone who has to live with my constant kvetching has the right to.

i was an assistant coach at rugby the other day. i actually had a lot of fun but boy did it require energy. i was with the under fives, which is only fair as 10 per cent of the class is related to me. lots of running and encouraging.

this seems to be a rather boring update, so i will finish on a high note.

last friday, two mums from sebastian's class and i went hiking on cheng chau, one of the nearby islands. the hike was only an hour and included seaview, temples, lanes between peoples houses and strolls around schools. there is just so much about this city i don't know. but as i discover more, i love it more. can you see why i consider myself so blessed?

sebastian lost his first tooth today.

a few months ago at a dental check up they said that his jaw needed to expand before any teeth would come out.

over the summer, charles and i noticed his teeth "spacing out".

and a couple of weeks ago, the tooth was definitely loose.

after not wearing his mouthguard during a crucial play on saturday, the tooth was much looser.

and tonight, during dinner, it popped out and landed on the dinner table.

he already thinks he has a second loose tooth.

little man.

80's music killed the supermummy

super mum did a super silly thing friday night, she went out with girlfriends to eat and listen to music in legendary lan kwai fung.

sensibly, i returned home at a decent hour, but oh my goodness, what a time!!!

we had tapas first (delish) and i am happy to say my only faux pas came when i ordered chorizo and then remembered that my girlfriend ursula is a vegetarian. dinner was a lot of fun, and i learned some stuff about australia that was of real interest to me and aussies living overseas.

then it was time to trip down to lan kwai fong. i made a bit of a muck of things here, i was texting andrea wildly, trying to find out where she was (knowing that she is somewhere in lkf is not enough, the streets are jammed with people by 9pm) and i was weaving around and tripping in a way that suggested i was off my tree already.

found andrea, excellent. sat with other friends, andrea and her friend jackie joined us, and then they headed down to stormies. after a bit, we joined them. stormies is a lot of fun because it has a great view and divine music (you KNOW that means it is from the 1980's), and so we parked ourselves there and andrea and i tuned up and began howling along to such classics as '"video killed the radio star" and "take on me". we were brilliant and our dancing, well, my jlo now has entirely new meaning, it reflects my excellently choreographed moves on a crowded wooden floor with people around me trying to take over our standing space.

i was kind of self conscious though. you're interested in looking at all the people, bless their hearts, you should have seen the little tourists with their backpacks, socks and sandals, and rolled up waterproof pants, but if you make eye contact with a fellow, is he going to think you're interested? the first time i made the eye contact i tried to pull my hand through my hair and then realised midway, "oh crap i've got hairspray in".so i did the next best thing, rubbing the corner of my eye with my hand. great, so now it looks like i have conjuctivitis.

but suddenly, i stop looking at the crowds and notice that a fellow has approached our andrea. he is singing along with her, face to face. she twists her body and starts singing with another girl. undaunted, this young buck tries again and andrea just takes a drink of her coke light (she is a tough customer).

the song changes, and fellow takes the opportunity to ask gesture to andrea, "is that table yours?" and she says, "no, help yourself!" he starts to pull a chair out for her and half beckons for her to join him, but in the ultimate im not even considering this a pickup, she continues singing, turning away from him.

poor kid. i almost felt sorry for him, almost. but i was more impressed with andrea, who swears she didn't think the fellow was hitting on her. she's a good looking girl, our andrea, and plus, when she goes out, she has fun, which attracts everyone to her.

and made tess stay longer than she should.

it was a LOT of fun and i am going to build up my resistance so i can do more girls nights out. ursula suggested a nana nap, which made me think "peter pan??" but that wasn't exactly what she meant. "i mean granny, darling" she texted me furiously the next day.

so much fun. and as andrea and i sat on the sofa the next day while suggesting to the kids that they play quietly, we agreed it had been worth it.

what makes a supermum??

this morning i was interviewed for a local magazine that is running an article on "supermums" in its next issue. i am one of the three mums they are profiling as "supermum".

people often assume that quantity equals excellence when it comes to children. and while my kids are gorgeous little specimens, albeit of the non vegetable eating kind, when i am referred to as a supermum, i feel like i am a fraud.

i don't think i am a supermum, because i know so many mothers out there who i feel are better mothers than i am. they have not forgotten one of their children in the car and walked away 20 paces before being reminded by one of their other children that someone is missing.

they have not said, and i quote "oh just go away!" when one of the angels is being tiresome.

i am not a supermum. i am a normal mum trying to do a great job, but aren't we all? i have a larger than normal number of children, but that does not make me a supermum. it made me active ovary infertile girl, but not supermum.

amazingly, wonderfully, powerfully, my kids, at this impressionable age think i am the best. i don't know how or why, but my gratitude for their forgiveness, compassion and love abounds. my mistakes are massive, my errors in judgement huge, but they still think i am ideal.

grownups cant do it for me, my kids are the only ones who can make me feel like supermum.

hike with the boys

....monday was a holiday and after sunday's rains, janne and i decided that our pre-arranged playdate with victor and sebastian should be as outdoors as the boys would let us make it. 

we set off for a small hike, with plenty of snacks tucked into our bags. the boys were intially all for staying inside and playing, but as soon as they were together, they were game for a hike. up we climbed, and then we rested on a flat area, while they boys went "to find God", a game that took half an hour and quickly changed to "finding death". then they needed snack. janne produced iced tea and jellies, and the boys were thrilled. sebastian said to me, "why hasn't Jesus given us any blessings today?" i thought about this and said, "sebastian, are you with friends?" "yes" he replied.

"is the sun shining even though it was supposed to rain?" and again the answer was yes. 

"well,i call those blessings! don't you?" and he agreed. 

perspective, it is an important thing.

soon, the boys decided it was time for our death hike to continue.

janne and i let the boys wander off on their own, she is v cool and lets victor explore his own world and come back with his questions and observations. i like that she doesn't hover, plus it gives us more time to chat. it is good making new friends, especially ones i like a lot.

we kept walking and only slowed the boys down to point out a worm that was trying to dig its way into the ground (actually quite interesting) and a dead worm being carried by ants. (this was automatically more interesting, because the worm was dead.) but wow, you should have seen how quickly those ants carried the worm. they really hustled with it!

the boys began declaring that they were "STAR-ving" so snacks number two and three were pulled out. they were really doing a good job and were disappointed that our original destination, the peak, we were unable to get to, because of landslips.

by this point we had been walking for 90 minutes, and the boys were being so wonderful!

veering off to head toward the path behind the hospital, the boys stopped to do wees, but after looking at the "toi toi" (no kidding, that's the name) porta-loo, they decided to water the trees instead. boys have it SO EASY.

and the adventure continued.

we stopped for a bit at the plantation site, where some locals have a herb garden, and out of NO WHERE, a little chinese man popped out with a tea trolley and smiled at janne and i.

"cha?" he offered, gesturing to the tea.

he was offering us tea! how cute was that! where did the hot water come from? or would it be cold? i was in love with him! we nodded politely, and he dumped some leaves into two cups and poured in steaming water, added i'm guessing room temp water, and plonked the cha down on the nearby pic nic table. the boys were entertaining themselves on a set of parallel bars, and the man came over with a government pamphlet that described the hiking path we were on. he pointed his finger to a picture of himself, and then made us stand up and walk over with him to a little pagoda thing. it had great significance apparently, judging from how quickly he spoke, and although janne and i couldn't understand a thing he was saying, we pointed to the pamphlet and went "oohh," in a universal symbol of understanding what he was saying.

the boys were still content, and the man poured us another cup of tea. it actually wasn't bad, but it was seriously filling. when he headed off to tend to more trees or the next round of visitors, janne and i dumped the remainders of the tea in the bushes, placed the cups on the table, and called to the boys.

all good things must come to an end, and as we reached the path behind the hospital, sebastian got very upset because the remainding treat was not one he liked, and we weren't going to victor's house IMMEDIATELY. oh the tears, and sorrow. he even threw down his drink.

as a parent, it is really tough to know how to handle some situations.  actually make that many situations. sebastian had turned on a dime. would a nap be best? should i rough this out? rough him up?

we made it back to our place, and 5 minutes before we arrived, sebastian had stopped crying and was acting almost normally again. please come up i said to janne and victor. 

the boys had pizza for lunch and then victor asked, "is sebastian coming over?"

well? was he??

wow, what a tough call. he had been naughty, but he had been looking forward to going to victors for DAYS.

so i said YES.

we went, and janne and i decided that three hours in the outdoors was enough for anyone, and we let the boys watch star wars three. she gives sebastian such grace. the boys watched, and then played in victor's room.

at the end of the stay, i gave victor and his little sister amalia a cuddle. i asked sebastian if he wanted to give janne a cuddle and he said no.

sebastian is scared of lifts, ever since getting caught in one, and so we took the stairs down to the main floor. as we took the stairs he said to me, "i like victor's mum. i like amalia (who also tried to hug him), i just don't like people hugging me."

it seems strange to me, but apparently it is completely normal.

so that was the end of our long march. don't the boys look like they are having fun planning and plotting and being creative? we only heard snips of the conversation, but i think they did!