thrush aint just a bird

it is only rarely that magnificent sticks his nose in my blog, but today when i came home fuming after a run in at mannings, the "health and beauty store" in hong kong, he said, "you need to blog about this".

so even though it means losing my male readership (STOP HERE DAD PLEASE) i will give it a go, because it is only rarely that that language barrier in hong kong: a) is a problem b) makes me angry and shouty at people.

i woke up this morning to the charming realisation that i was the proud owner of thrush/a yeast infection. oh yay.

i take care of some tasks, one of them being watching an episode of frasier with my husband and then inform him that i will just trot into nearby chi fu, grab some cranberry juice and visit mannings for a three or one day course of tablets to take care of the thrush. no worries.

it does sound simple. but dare i mention that chi fu is a rather local part of hong kong.

when i get to mannings, i realise that i don't know what the packet looks like. i wander through the nearby areas, and scour female protection, sanitary products, birth control (you don't need a script to buy the pill, it is sold beside condoms here).

a chirpy salesperson approaches me and asks if she can assist me. i ask, and i mean this truthfully, politely, "where is the medicine for thrush, please?"

she looks puzzled. "for THRUSH?" she says in a loud voice, and a western man looks over and scurries away. i know him from school. i rapidly try to remember if there is anything remotely skanky that i could get thrush from. toilet seats? multiple partners? shared needles?

helpful but essentially useless girl brings over her friend. again i repeat my query. again, my query is repeated. this time, i add in YEAST INFECTION and it is seriously repeated back to me. they are trying their utmost to assist.

a third person, possibly the assistant manager during lunchtime, is beckoned over and she joins our trio. what a fun time we are having! she is rapidly brought up to date on the situation (I assume, or else the girls could have been asking her about their lunch), and then says, "can i help you." i ask, and my teeth are gritted, "DO YOU HAVE ANY MEDICINE FOR THRUSH OR YEAST INFECTION."

she perks up at the word infection. "WHERE ARE YOU INFECTED?"

and i have to say it. MY VAGINA. and i dont roar vagina, but i certainly don't whisper it either.

i probably should have drawn a picture.

assistant lunch manager looks scared (has the disease started to affect her brain or is that chlamydia?) and scurries away. she is on the phone for a while and then hands the phone to me. "IT IS HEAD OFFICE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR VAGINA THRUSH" she says. anyone english speaking in the shop is aware of the story. i fancy that those who don't have Christmas shopping to complete are hanging around, wondering if i will lay hands on the coveted packet...forget inscense and myrr...will tess get the canesten?

"hello" says tess who has no pride but does have thrush.

"yes! this is head office. you have..." (her voice drops) thrush?"

"i do. do you sell canesten here?"

"is there a pharmacy there?"

"you're head office? you don't KNOW?"

"ha, ha,,no, i don't."

"well, write it down" (can't you just see me descintegrating?) "there is no pharmacy here."

"well, then there is no canesten."

there's a bit more unattractive talk (no swear words), just me asking where the nearest pharmacy is and them saying central, is that too far and me saying and i believe this is a quote, "well it aint close, sister", and then me hanging up. but i did say thank you.

i then went to park n shop downstairs for some yogurt.

gah!

Comments

[chris dooks]

As a man who has had thrush - oh yes boys, you can get it too you know - I am au fait with the canesten in all of it's forms.

But what made me stop and read you blog today was I thought you were referring to the "Chi of your Fu" I guess you were!

Scratchy of Glasgow :-)

[km]

I had the same experience in Turkey a few years ago after taking very strong antibiotics.
After trying to make my self understood I finally decided to "act it out". Strange looks as I scratched my vagina. With this the pharmacist in perfect English said "oh you mean vaginal itch".

[km]

I had the same experience in Turkey a few years ago after taking some very strong antibiotics.
After trying without success to make myself understood I decided to act it out. After making a fool of myself scratching my vagina in full view of the whole shop the pharmacist in perfect english said "oh you mean vaginal itch" Felt pretty stupid.

[Melanie]

Wait...so you can get birth control pills over the counter but not yeast infection stuff? How strange!

I have tried to get stupid ovulation testing sticks here in America, where people are supposed to speak English...and they always look at me like I'm crazy. You know, they're like pregnancy tests, you pee on them, but for ovulation? You know, testing to see if you ovulated? Um, Clearblue? First Response?

For some reason they always take me to the feminine products section and try to sell me pads. Um, these have wings, will they work? Not even close.

[Tina]

I used to have those all the time. I'm not sure if you can get this in Hong Kong but it will stop you from ever needing a "thrush packet for your itching vagina" again.

Acidophilus.

It is the ingredients in Yogurt that restore the good bacteria that eats the bad bacteria that is causing the infection. You can get them in pill form and man does it work a treat. Google it for back-up on my quick run definition but if they have it there it's your friend.

[Dad aka GDad Blake]

Your mother will not let me read your blog.
She said it involved baking and would not interest me. When I pressed her for details she reported:

1) you woke up one morning and had the itch to make cookies from scratch.
2)You got an infection from one of the ingredients.
I thought she had made some rash statements and did not ask for more details.
Love to all....Dad

[Dad aka GDad Blake]

LA,La,La,La....can't read anything.

Love to all.....Dad

[Kirst Afloat]

Fanda always come through...laughed like crazy reading your post. Got to love living in HK!

[Kirst Afloat]

Fanda always comes through...laughed like crazy reading your post. Got to love living in HK!

[lyns]

TOO FUNNY!! I only say that b/c I too have been in the same situation!!! Sorry for your frustration...but you gave me a good HK chuckle! Miss you..hope you feel better soon!! XO LYNS

[Carolyn]

OMG Tess, I usually wipe up the tears from my computer because your stories are so touching. I can not stop laughting and my computer is soaking in laughing tears. Thank Goodness Grandad Doug is not home to wonder why I have lost my mind up here in my office. Hang in there sista! BTW Thrush usually refers to the mouth infection (in children). You and your readers have made my day!

[JoeInVegas]

Hmm, sounds like Dad comes to read anyway.

[Hate Yeast Infection]

Aside from the soreness and itchiness Yeast Infection can give you, it is so uncomfortable to have it. After searching for so many ways on how to cure yeast infections, I can say that there are simple ways on how to cure it: staying away from pork or red meat, sugars or sweets and drinking plenty of water can help prevent it.

Free From Yeast Infection

[berlin]

Gut!

[mietwagen]

Sehr gute Seite. Ich habe es zu den Favoriten.

[Yeast Infection Treatment]

As most treatments merely treat the symptoms we have to educate ourselves on the causes to prevent recurrence.

[Yeast Infection]

Natural Cure for Yeast Infection eBook is a product of a 10-year comprehensive research. Now, it is helping the global victims of Candida, telling them how to deal with it and completely cure the disease without the assistance of a doctor or any medical figure.