learn from your children

this week has been tough for me parenting wise.

sunday, i went to rugby and got to see my son, jumping up and down trying to get in his coaches' line of vision while his coach divided the players into teams for a match.

the players dwindled down, and sebastian moved again, and said, "me! what team for me?" and the coach stopped for a moment, looked at the teams to assess which players were on which, and then put sebastian on a team.

crack goes my heart.

i know my son is not easy. i know that his social anxiety makes it difficult to warm to him. i know that he is immature for his age, as most add kids are.

i know that he loves rugby.

today, a bunch of kids sebastian's age are having a playdate. sebastian is not invited, although they mentioned the playdate right in front of sebastian.

me, i was hurt, upset. wonderfully, amazingly, sebastian didn't even notice. as of five minutes ago, he took his match attax downstairs, in hopes of finding someone to play with.

is it his immaturity that makes him so immune? does he not get it? i don't know, but i am so grateful that he doesn't. i don't think i could deal with his hurt on top of mine. so i am grateful for my unique, wonderful child.

and he is wonderful. today in the classroom, shannon's chair was covered with teddy bears that each child had brought in. of course, the minute shannon's back was turned, the kids would go running to the chair and pull out their special bear. at one such point, shannon called out, "who was just touching the teddy bears?" and no one answered. again, shannon repeated her request, asking this time, "whoever was touching the teddy bears, please stand up!"

and i watched sebastian stand up.

i asked him about this later, and he said, "i wanted to be honest."

oh i am so proud of him. don't get me wrong, he is not an easy child...but he is wonderful.

i need to be more like him.

Comments

[Mo aka Maureen aka Grandmother aka Mum]

You are so right, Tess - he IS wonderful. And he has a great mum.

M xox

[Dad aka GDad Blake]

He is my grandson.He isn't perfect and neither am I.I remember what my best friend Hughie used to say "Let's see who is ahead when the smoke clears."Sebbie will flourish because there is lots of love in his life. Don't worry. Wait for the smoke to clear.
LOve to all...Dad

[Mel (mom of another special ADD boy)]

God has made him so unique and so extra special. He has also given him this cheery disposition to handle the rejection he will face in his life. I know how much it hurts and you are going to have to really co-parent with God on this one. I also know you wouldn't change anything about your wonderful little boy. It gets easier although you will probably not get tougher. (Only him) xxx

[polly]

He's a special kid! My sister is *severely* ADD....and is also one of the best people I know (certainly the kindest, hands-down, also compassionate)...I just read a book on ADD called ADD: Welcome to Our World, it is more about adult ADD but there are bits about children, too, and it is really geared more for those who live w/ the person w/ ADD (as I do, my sis lives w/ us...). It is great and the author says ADD stands for 'affectionately designed differently.' that's about right.

the best gift we can give our children is to help them become who God wants them to be. You're doing it!

[Super B's Mom]

Please pass the tissue.

You AND Seb are wonderful. Just wonderful.