resurfacing

thank you for the feedback on possible books for little seb. really appreciated. it's like a brand new world finding new authors and series...thrilling for both the young man and myself.

yesterday was a frightening day. janne, victor and 3 yr old amalia accompanied my crew to the boat club. it was deserted, we were the only ones in the pool. janne and i started chatting and the boys were of course playing and having fun. i had forgotten armbands and the triplets were pretty much confined to the small pool. janne and i were confined to our chairs. there was much to discuss! the gobi desert marathon, victoria's secret, how in denmark fruit of the loom underwear is considered upmarket, preventing that mantle of "entitlement" some children seem to wear, good nearby runs...very interesting topics, you understand!

the lifeguard came to tell me at 11.30 that he was taking his lunch. i said no problem.

lunch started to sound like pretty good idea to the mummies and our two elder children. i took the orders...how easy - six chicken nuggets and chips, coming up! and the chicken tikka salad. and i walked away to place our order, after asking janne to keep an eye on the kids.

turns out she did more than that. i returned from placing the order, and found sela, blue lipped and sombre, shivering and sitting on my recently vacated deck chair, wrapped in a towel. cuddling her was janne, who, in the 90 seconds i had been absent, was suddenly wet. water streaming from her pigtails. kissing the side of sela's face. sela, who was quiet and a bit dazed.

sela, who almost drowned.

janne apparently saw sela thrashing, going under, and called to her, and when sela didn't respond, but kept going under for longer periods, jumped in and pulled her to the side. saved her.

i didn't make a big deal, i didn't lecture. i didn't tell her how glad i was that she was safe that she had nearly died, that i loved her...i just...played it down. i don't think i managed it well at all. i can't even remember it happening. i just remember thinking, "the shock is over, i have to make it as easy as i can for my child." so i asked her if she was alright, put my hand on janne's leg to say thank you and tell her i love her and cannot express how grateful i am but will try later, and sela falteringly then told me what happened, a little bit, and then went inside to take a shower and get changed. later on i talked to her about not going into the deep end unless she was wearing armbands.

i didn't handle it well. i don't remember it, but i do remember that i didn't do well. or is there a right way to handle it?

so tired of drama. which is why jasper, with his 102 temperature, is not at the doctors, instead he is plastered on to me. he will be better tomorrow. i have faith in this self diagnosis.

faith. it gives me courage to keep going, whether that be running, cleaning, reading, working, parenting, or letting them swim themselves.

Comments

[Jill]

You handled that brilliantly. I nearly drowned as a child and I remember it well. But the strangest thing is that I don't recall any fear, any guilt, any embarrassment. I had asked about that in my later years if my memory of jumping off a high diving board unsupervised was real or imaginary - I described it at length in the retelling. Both parents said it was real but downplayed to minimize any further trauma. I ply that advice to my own wee ones. What you did was so perfect, so reassuring, calm and collected. You take strength in your faith, it hasn't steered you wrong. XO (I just wish it could be calm and reassuring for the parents...)

[Mo aka Maureen aka Grandmother aka Mum]

As you said, darling, "Is there a right way to handle it?" How you handled it was very well done, I think. How horrible for you, Sela and everyone involved. And now Jasper - we will be praying for that fever to go down. You go, girl, and take care of yourself in all of this.
Much love, M xox

[odila]

Amen to the outcome, amen indeed!
My Darling, stop beating yourself... you coped VERY well, there is no recipe as how a dedicated mother behaves and the way you did was perfect, just fine...hope Sela is ok with going back to water now, because she will have loads of beaches to visit when the Caldwell Team comes to visit us in Panama!!
Love, Odila

[Dad aka GDad Blake]

You did well sweetheart. Remind mom to tell you of our experience one time back in the 1970,s when we were at Jericho Beach.

Love to all....Dad

[Boulder]

You handled it perfectly.

Kids need to understand the dangers of water, but not to be fearful of it. You guided her well. It is terrifying to see how quickly fun can move to tragic or near tragic times.

Give Janne an extra special hug from me to say thank you for being attentive, when it is so easy to become distracted for even a second.

Get back to the pool when you can, so that Sela moves through this and doesn't get stuck in it. Same goes for you. Don't get stuck, just move forward.

And say a few prayers of thanks and for those that aren't so fortunate.

I adore you all.

xoxo

[Auntie Pammie]

This particular blog made me cry but not a happy cry, it was a cry for you and how that whole situation would have felt. I am so glad to read that Sela is ok, she will bounce back no problems!! You be kind to yourself as well :-)
Love you lots and see you soon!!

[Boulder]

Hi darling,

I wanted to be sure to say one extra thing. It is really important for everyone (adults included) to remember that floating is an important skill to rely on when we're swimming. It really should be the first reaction we all have when we're tired, panicked, or overwhelmed - otherwise exhaustion can set in far too quickly, and treading water becomes tricky.

Maybe some practice as a reminder?

xoxo

[tripleblessings]

Thank God Sela is okay, and thank God for Janne. I imagine it will be tempting to spend the next day or two second-guessing all your decisions and responses, but it sounds like you did very well. Better than I might have!

I think you are right to play it low-key with the children. You may want to talk about lessons learned, or rules for water safety, but not about what might have happened.

Best wishes to Jasper, Sela and all of you for a quick recovery.