Dim Sum Mum - Tess' Little Pieces

four questions

I went on a great walk today, not a run, mind you, but a walk, (respectful of most recent injury), but just to mix it up a little, I did 20 push ups as well.

So that's me out of the way.

Peeps are asking whazzup with the kids. Here are four random questions:

1) What is up with Sebastian and his "issues"

Earlier this year we had him on Ritalin for two weeks. I have no problem medicating, but unfortunately, this was not a good mix. He wasn't sleeping or eating...I would get up at 5.30 and he would be awake. You can't concentrate if you're tired. After a couple of meetings with his teachers, we took him off.

Since then, he is still behind in maths and takes a painfully slow time to write things down. His grasp of English is pretty good, but he just takes a while to commit it to paper. His memorization of basic maths is not. I have been trying to supplement his maths at home. This was really taking a toll on our relationship until Seb's teacher found an online maths program for us. I am still mean mummy who makes Seb do extra homework, (basically reinforcing what they are learning at school and trying to get those multiplication tables, subtraction/addition basics and that dratted division nailed down), but at least I am no longer the one asking the confounded questions. I am the person beside him, cheering him on. In the past three weeks I have really been diligent, and I have seen improvements. His timestables are sinking in. Subtraction is his biggest challenge.

2) Is Jasper hugely popular?

Not really. In his mind he is a bit of a legend, but no, he's not hugely popular. He isn't incredibly talented at sport, he doesn't have any one good friend, nor does he make the effort to. He is making one friend right now, but that seems to be about it. He's a floater. He gets invited to a lot of birthday parties, but he doesn't have one BFF.

3) Anything new with Carys?

Actually yes. She's developed a couple of phobias. The other day she came to me and burst into tears. When prompted, she confessed that she was afraid she was going to be sent "to the pwincipals office and he would be cwoss." I whipped a quick email off to her teacher, who does not send children to the principal's office, and she had a quick word in the corridor with Carys, which included Carys crying again, and then after being reassured that she makes sensible choices and isn't going down to see the principal, going to the toilet to wash her face.

Now, Carys' latest thing is not wanting to visit friend's houses. Why? The parent might shout, the cat might scratch. Whazzup?

4) Did Sela finally lose her tooth?

She's lost two, thank you very much. She's having a good final term. She has a playdate with a friend on Thurs and is very, very excited. So am I...she's waited a long time for this. When the playdate was finalised, she requested that she call the mum and say how happy she was. Why not? Her vocabulary is growing and she is a very verbal young person. She still wants to be an artist when she grows up. 

My parents left on Saturday. It was the best visit ever, except for the bloody pollution. But wow, we had a great time. I am going to ask my mum to write a guest blog, but you get to choose the topic. Is it?

a) what life is really like in my home

b) what hong kong is really like

c) do i really treat my kids like i think i treat my kids?

d) your choice

if we ask nicely and pay him some money (or peanuts...literally), my dad might do a guest blog as well.

Forty and for me.

In my last post I turned 40.

The actual turning was a riot, but rather anticlimactic in a way.

Books and conversations are peppered with the comments, “Since turning 40 she had noticed….” “It was at 40 that she decided…” “One morning she woke up and she was 40”.

For me, turning 40 only meant that I could have cake for breakfast three days in a row.

So I did.

Other than that little bonus, I was ready for 40.

And my fantastic husband threw me a wonderful party, attended by some amazing friends. Everyone (except for one….ANGELA!) dressed up in 70’s, 80’s and 90’s costume. Charles upped the ante by arriving as THE MASK. I was Wonder Woman. My sister and boyfriend were the Flintstones. And the music was all 80’s baby.

 Turning 40 was the best.

 And it has only gotten better.

One of the biggest reasons for this is my recent trip to the Philippines. As my birthday passed and one set of visitors (Pam, her boyfriend and my sweet niece Alex) gave way to another (my parents), my sense of excitement over our upcoming trip to the Philippines grew.

We were going to help lead an ICM Kids Camp. All of us.

I do not want to overemphasize my role. I was a counsellor, a team leader. But to be part of something so important to kids had a huge impact on me. To be able to share it with my parents, to know they were willing to spend part of their holiday making a difference in the lives of others, made me EXTRAORDINARILY proud.

 We packed, taking every outgrown shirt and pair of shoes with us. Bought several new pairs of crocs for kids we would never meet.

And set off, all eight of us.

The kids are pretty good fliers, and we arrived to Manila no problem.

Getting to Dumaguete was no problem either. We were there. And it was beautiful. The resort was fine, and we had a purpose.

We met the rest of the team members. Practised our theme song of the week. Were assigned teams. Heard about the daily routine.

That first day, we toured a local orphanage and school very similar to the kindergarten we sponsor in the next province, outside of Bacolod. The orphanage was wonderful, the kids are so healthy and happy. The fact that so many are siblings did my heart good. Their parents may be gone, but the children can still stay together.

The second day, we piled into the vans and headed off the kids camp, with the intention of setting up once we got there. That plan very quickly went awry, because upon arrival, we saw the kids were over an hour early. One hundred kids, sitting on the grass, waiting for us quietly.

Love and tears started in me, and for the next four days never really went away.

The kids camp was overwhelming at times. The kids were so well behaved. The formula was quite simple, but the kids were so thrilled. Watching their faces during snack and lunch time. How carefully they painted, coloured and enjoyed the various crafting activities, their joy at playing “the parachute” with the other kids, the beanbag running games, the satisfaction on their faces when we ran a good race.

How the second day when they recognised me they ran to me.

How by the third day some of them were volunteering to be in skits.

How none of them wanted camp to end.

How Sela became friends with one little girl, and another little girl, Dhelia, befriended Carys. Watching them sharing events without any common language.

How hot it was at times.

How I wondered so many times how these children could be so happy, despite the hardships they face on a daily basis.

How my kids claimed it was an amazing vacation, despite the work, heat and the waits that come with being with a group of people.

They’re right. It was an amazing time. One of the best vacations in my life.

I am still a deeply flawed person. A regular human. But I’m still changing. This didn’t happen when I turned 40…this happened when my kids got old enough that we could participate in outreach activities.

But 40 is good too…the cake was, and the phone calls and emails were too. The people were. Thank you everyone for being part of my life. It's just getting happier and better.