possibly it is unique to my family and my situation, but it seems that there is a direct correlation to light and loudness.
as darkness (and not coincidentally, bedtime) approaches, the kids behaviour gets in my opinion worse. 9 think the neighbours downstairs would agree with me as well.
in timely response, my voice gets that little bit louder.
you can imagine the vicious cycle (rinse/repeat) that follows.
just an observation.
some of you might be pleased to know that a few months ago i declared to the kids that i was tired of counting. if you saw the size of my jlo (jasper has asked if we are going to have a baby) you would think that i meant calories, but truth of the matter is, i got tired of counting to five or three or whatever odd number that equalled GRACE.
"i want you to come here...I'm going to count to five and i want you to be here by the time i am finished counting...1...2...3.....4....5...."
there are thousands of variations of the counting scheme. but at the end of the day, i was tired of it. i reckoned the beasts of burden should be obeying, finishing, folding, clearing, wiping, tying or at least standing up and making a good fist at getting the task done by the time i make my signature scary wide eyes, head tilt hand gesture shoulder shrug at the end of the sentence.
i'm tired of counting. when i ask you to do something, just...well, you know.
for the most part, since declaring one day that i was tired of counting and it would cease immediately, it pretty much has with no revisits. we've made it up to two a couple of times before i suddenly say outloud (and to the kids) "Oh that's right, i wasn't going to count anymore, i'm tired of counting." and then i just say, "now!" the kids are usually a bit worried at the forgetfulness, but i consider this a form of training as well. do they really think my memory is going to improve over the coming years?
i have stuck firm to my declaration. it has not made them much faster, but it has made me feel better.
it has also made me feel a bit worse. basically, giving kids count time is giving them grace. by cutting out the counting, am i saying i have no grace for them? and if so, is that ok? by the time darkness hits, it's been a long day.
After a careful review of your post it seems two themes emerge:
1) you can always count on your children.
2) Don't keep your children in the dark.
Love to all....Dad
Posted by: GDadLyons | January 14, 2011 at 12:52 AM
Counting to the kids either instills urgency (oh - better get moving before she hits 5) or laziness (oh, I can wait until she hits 4)
Posted by: joeinvegas | January 14, 2011 at 04:02 AM
Long-time no speak, Tess, but I am enjoying this visit via your maternal observations! Highly relatable stuff...
A comment or two regarding the above:
I notice you were counting 'up',as in 1,2,3.... Have you considered the opposite? I.e. "10 minutes to get your 'jobs' done!". "5 more minutes! Are you going to be done on time? First one finished picks the bedtime story/music/bubble bath 'flavor'....". In my experience this tends to be marginally more inspiring than exhibiting 'weary mother syndrome' --because the onset of darkness tends to affect us, too....-- with various versions of Final countdowns!
Forbearance, my friend!
P.S. The grace we exhibit during the countdown phase of this system somewhat inspires our kids to extend THEIR mercy towards US!
Posted by: Kristin'scoldinNWT | January 19, 2011 at 03:08 AM