the other day i came home early from work so I could be there to discuss the kids' day before they started their 30 minutes of reading that is our after school schedule.
twice a week i am home by 3.30pm so i can be there for de-brief.
this day, sela burst in to my room and started filling me in on a challenge she was having at school and possible ways of solving it. in the background, i could hear carys stomping (she didn't take off her shoes?) and i knew i wasn't impressed...her voice was loud and angry. she came in to my room and i said I was busy with sela, i would talk with her next. with narrowed eyes, and barely opening her mouth, she informed me my time would not be necessary, as she, carys, was wunning away.
I now became aware of howls that i identified as jaspers. he stuck his head in the door and choked out, "mum! carys is running away! forver! stop her!" he was distressed and red, while the soon to be APB was cool as a cucumber.
she was holding baby alive, and wearing her pink travel backpack.
dressed still in her pe kit and wearing flip flops.
my heart flipflopped. running away? what had i DONE?
i told carys as calmly as i could that i was just wrapping things up with sela, and i would be there in a minute.
sela looked at me and said, "she won't run away."
jasper popped his head inside and shouted, "YES SHE WILL!" tears pouring afresh down his face.
i said, "i don't want her to."
i asked sela, "are we done here?" and she agreed we were and asked if she could stay in my room, turn on the a/c and wear my cosy robe for two minutes. i said yes.
i left sela and headed to the front room, jasper attached to me, urging me to run. indeed, carys was there, headed for the door. SEE MUM! stated jasper SHES LEAVING!. i asked her what happened. hand on the doorknob, she informed me, "i was walking home from school today and i know that x and y were talking about me mummy. I heard my name when they were whispering. they huwt my feelings. i was so sad. they made me cwy. i am never going to let them make fun of me again, so i am going to wun away."
HOORAY! it wasn't me!
still, she was sad. tears were streaming down her face.
"MUM! she can't go!" pleaded jasper. "Running away isn't safe! There are baddies!"
a little part of me, the detached journo part of me was curious as to where she would go.
my mum ran away when she was a tot. she made it to the end of her driveway and no farther because her suitcase was so heavy. she had packed comic books. i had never run away, and i think this is because my mum made us spend so much time outside in freezing cold edmonton that we saw it as a treat to be inside in the warmth.
however, i didn't like seeing my little carrot-sticks all sad. and jasper was driving me around the bend, but he was a very active conscience/id/whatever.
time to be mummy.
"oh carys."
"goodbye mummy."
NOOOO CARYS! wailed jasper.
"may I take a picture of you before you go?"
she agreed and i took two snaps.
STOP HER MUMMY SHE"S LEAVING SHE"S GOING!
she walked to the stairwell and i called her name. jasper's sobs were echoing in the hallway.
"Carys?"
"yes mummy?"
"Where are you going to go?"
her airy response was, "a fwiends".
"i see."
GRAB HER MUMMY!
I was trying to talk to carys while pushing jasper behind me, like you do a dog when a delivery person comes to the door.
and then what will you do?
"i will go to canada to see mo and blake."
"i'm glad you have a sensible plan"
"i do."
"What will you do about money?"
"oh."
pause.
"i need to come back inside for my wallet."
of course.
she stepped back across the threshold and i was happy. she had come back in of her own choice. good.
I had to keep jasper away from her, so i crushed him in my arms, and i didn't want to fall on carys just yet. so caged jasper who was issuing proclamations of love for carys and how much he had missed her had to do so while wriggling in my arms.
"carys?"
"yes" she stopped on her way to her bedroom. I forced jasper into his bedroom and told him not to bother carys and me for five minutes please. I LOVE YOU CARYS!
"why don't we sit down and talk about your plan? just so i don't worry? because I will miss you terribly, you know."
"alwight. i am going to go.."
"Carys," i interruped, "can we go sit down?"
"yes."
sela had abandoned my room for her room and a book, and so we went to my room. carys took her shoes off and climbed up on my bed. I suggested she remove her backpack as well, just for a bit. she agreed.
i asked if she could show me what was in her packback.
"Puppy," (a fave plush toy) "and nappies for baby alive."
"oh you are such a good mummy."
"yes."
Silence and a snuggle.
"so what is your plan Carys."
"I am going to go to Canada."
"What are you going to eat?"
"I will eat TIm Tams on the plane."
"But what about when you are at the airport? In case you want to buy a chocolate milkshake...."
"Oh....well then I weally need my wallet."
"I will miss you"
"I will miss you too mummy"
And Bebe will miss you" (Carys' much loved BEBE is on a timeout from her mistress as a punishment for Carys being "wude").
"I will come back in a month and get BEBE" I was informed.
"Or you could go in a month," I suggested.
"Yes."
DON'T GO CARYS! screamed earwigging jasper.
"And today, you could call X and have her come here for a playdate? I know Y is at swimming...."
Could you call, mummy?
No. But I can dial.
Okay yes, please.
WHAT"S GOING ON! jasper insisted from outside the door
So I dialed. And Carys spoke.
Hello X? Would you like to come over to play? My mummy says it is alwight with her. (pause, embarrassed sort of laugh), "I didn't know what you were doing with Y..." another pause..."gweat! oh and when you were here before and we played picnic you left your two pieces of plastic toast, and i found them. yes, plastic toast. or bwead."
this could have gone on, and on, but finally i just said, "hang up carys and let her come over."
and she hung up the phone, grinned hugely, and went off to unpack.
and jasper finally stopped crying.
Your gain is Mo's and my loss.In anticipation of our welcome of a litle angel, who can do a smashing imitation of Elmer Fudd,I had stocked up on peanut butter and other fine foods.Oh well, maybe next time.
Love to all....Dad
PS....Mo has a fine collection of rather dog eared comic books for Carys to read should she decide to visit.
Posted by: GDadLyons | September 10, 2011 at 09:27 PM
Oh oh oh, Carys! This is one of your best stories EVER! While I am truly sorry that you won't be visiting Grandad and me for awhile I am very happy that you are staying at home with your family. Tess, you are a genius!
M xox
Posted by: Maureen Lyons aka Mo aka Grandmother | September 11, 2011 at 01:29 AM
Well played my friend, well played. I have a 'runner' as well.....and your method would have been more productive than mine was.....but then again, I was the one that allegedly caused the need to run away. Its been months since, but I may borrow your strategy! Glad it all worked out and little miss was able to get back on that horse and call her friend. XO
Posted by: Jill Swann | September 11, 2011 at 05:12 AM
Oh, Tess! The things you are going through bring back so many memories! Melaina must have been about Carys' age when she decided to run away... all the way to the vacant lot next door. By late afternoon, she wondered if she might be welcome to come for dinner and by the time that was over, she had decided to move home again!
Posted by: edebock | September 12, 2011 at 12:09 PM
I am trying to not laugh while reading this.. Carys is so a Lyons!!!
I do like the way you handled the situation and let her be in control, I have alot to learn from you oh great Jedi xo
ps) if she wants to run away to Canada again she can come here, we now have a swing set-teeter totter in the backyard to go with the pool. sandbox. playhouse, cars etc....
Posted by: Auntie Pammie | September 12, 2011 at 09:47 PM
Looks like four kids is better than a degree in psychology.
Posted by: joeinvegas | September 12, 2011 at 11:36 PM
I agree..well played!!! I love Jasper's desperate attempts to keep his sister safe... someday she will read this and when in doubt will know that Jasper loves his sister!! :) xo lyns
Posted by: lynsey | September 13, 2011 at 05:21 AM
What were you thinking... get her to take the other three so we could have had some peace and quiet!
Posted by: Charles | September 13, 2011 at 08:20 PM
Tess that was brilliant! I have much to learn from you :) Will be tucking this little gem away in case one of my three decides to go...although I kind of like what Charles had to say as well and will remember to use that one as well.
Posted by: Nina | September 16, 2011 at 01:41 AM
lol! i really did enjoying reading this! oh tess you are such a wit! i am so surprised. and finding humor at times of drama is just so cute.they really are a darlings! but i missed seb on the scene. and charles's comment, isn't that hilarious? nice idea hey! miss u ol!
Posted by: marianne ablan cauilan | September 20, 2011 at 12:18 AM
Sweet, sweet blog...how do you have so much patience with the kids? Lovely. I came here via a link on Charles' LinkedIn ID. Loved it.
Posted by: Lalita | June 22, 2012 at 01:33 PM